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#1 Bognoz

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Posted 07 August 2015 - 10:22 AM

In an empty room

gas is a gesture without

offence or pleasure.


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#2 TheGreenOne

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Posted 07 August 2015 - 11:05 AM

If the room is empty, there is neither wind nor anyone to break it.


shuck and jive is an important skill

 

I cannot play music on an infinite keyboard.


#3 Bognoz

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Posted 07 August 2015 - 11:47 PM

Gaseous emissions

expanding in emptiness

Smell my elephant


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#4 G&C

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Posted 08 August 2015 - 07:01 AM

I know they cannot be trusted...

 

Attached File  Farts.jpg   24.65K   0 downloads


"It never was about absinthe anyway" - artemis 1/16/2015


#5 Absomphe

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Posted 08 August 2015 - 12:51 PM

Onacuz they're over turdy?


To the bar, for flaming Hills enemas!

#6 Bognoz

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Posted 09 August 2015 - 03:10 AM

Unresolved feelings:

dependable friend, foul foe;

Only this: must let go.


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unless you prepare a great hot chocolate.

#7 TheGreenOne

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Posted 09 August 2015 - 08:53 AM

old_farts_rule_premium_magnet-r860348a98


shuck and jive is an important skill

 

I cannot play music on an infinite keyboard.


#8 Bognoz

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Posted 09 August 2015 - 11:55 PM

Sovereign is he

enthroned over porcelain

in redolent air


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unless you prepare a great hot chocolate.

#9 Kirk

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Posted 10 August 2015 - 05:41 AM

Great rumbling wafts are often less offensive than the quietly secreted heat.


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#10 TheGreenOne

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Posted 10 August 2015 - 06:23 AM

fartproudly.png


shuck and jive is an important skill

 

I cannot play music on an infinite keyboard.


#11 Bognoz

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Posted 10 August 2015 - 07:45 AM

Food eaten well sauced

science and satisfaction

no roses arise


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unless you prepare a great hot chocolate.

#12 Bognoz

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Posted 10 August 2015 - 07:50 AM

No noses awry

academia knows well

the wind one lets fly


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#13 TheGreenOne

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Posted 10 August 2015 - 10:52 AM

burrito surprise
winds pass as gas then arise
tears fall with the flies


shuck and jive is an important skill

 

I cannot play music on an infinite keyboard.


#14 Bognoz

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Posted 10 August 2015 - 11:19 AM

Generation x

millenials on a pass

boomers out the ass.


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#15 Bognoz

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Posted 11 August 2015 - 01:53 AM

The night rushes by

a blur of cold beer and friends

fart and the day starts


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#16 TheGreenOne

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Posted 11 August 2015 - 06:23 AM

for a mere pittance

the tart will fart in your face

you learn your new place


shuck and jive is an important skill

 

I cannot play music on an infinite keyboard.


#17 Bognoz

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Posted 11 August 2015 - 06:44 AM

Significant sound

coming from the anal place

like breath from your face


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#18 Bognoz

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Posted 11 August 2015 - 06:52 AM

David Birne implores

his audience to behave,

"Stop making scents!"


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#19 jaded prol

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Posted 11 August 2015 - 01:14 PM

You guys are a gasssssssss.


Drinking for medicinal reasons.

You may say I'm a drinker
but I'm not the only one.

#20 TheGreenOne

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Posted 11 August 2015 - 05:25 PM

--Note 57: "Prom, word handed down from the Greek by way of Prometheus, the Titan who stole writing from the gods to give to man."

   R. Bolaño

 

Same as Tib did with farts.


shuck and jive is an important skill

 

I cannot play music on an infinite keyboard.


#21 Bognoz

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Posted 12 August 2015 - 05:21 AM

I will hold you low

punishing acrid odor

in my dutch oven


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#22 Bognoz

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Posted 12 August 2015 - 06:53 AM

The passage of time

from sapling to dry firewood

a fart in the park


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#23 Absomphe

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Posted 12 August 2015 - 03:00 PM

Methane is your thane.


To the bar, for flaming Hills enemas!

#24 Bognoz

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Posted 13 August 2015 - 04:51 AM

Stain of antique xit

transplanted to Seattle

still smells of cow pie


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#25 TheGreenOne

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Posted 13 August 2015 - 05:45 AM

fart fart fart fart fart

shit shit shit shit shit shit shit

fart fart fart fart fart


shuck and jive is an important skill

 

I cannot play music on an infinite keyboard.


#26 TheGreenOne

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Posted 13 August 2015 - 05:46 AM

finished or famished?


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#27 TheGreenOne

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Posted 13 August 2015 - 05:47 AM

or maybe danish

 

danishaiku2012.jpg


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#28 Bognoz

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Posted 13 August 2015 - 05:50 AM

Nothing can compare

with a gleaming, steaming turd

well buffed and burnished


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#29 Bognoz

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Posted 13 August 2015 - 05:56 AM

Xitwich with mustard

or flaky puff pastry disk

with Danish poo goo?


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#30 Bognoz

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Posted 14 August 2015 - 01:51 AM

Genteel, learned, cultured and book-smart,

Respectable gentlemen and fancy dandies,

Open yourself to the pleasures of a fart.

 

In the quiet of a library or gallery of art

In the parlor after dinner, cigars and brandies,

Genteel, learned, cultured and book-smart

 

Regale themselves in splendors off the chart.

Grab a beer, guzzle, nuzzle like wanton randies,

Open yourself to the pleasures of a fart.

 

Absinthe, it is said, will play upon your heart,

Melting chocolates tempered once like candies.

Genteel, learned cultured and book-smart,

 

Proper manners, etiquette, decorum are all a part

Not of any solution, like switching off of handies.

Open yourself to the pleasures of a fart,

 

Let it rip, don't be shy, then you will start

To exhibit the natural grandeur of the Andes.

Genteel, learned, cultured and book-smart

Open yourself to the pleasures of a fart.


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#31 Bognoz

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Posted 20 August 2015 - 10:36 PM

It was a foul, rancorous miasma of a gas.

It hit you like a brick, breaking the nose on your face.

Odoriferous, piquant, an alien fetid flower

whose scent was a siren song among the gales

that should have driven the ship to safety, heavy mortar

holding fast the air, each molecule a grain


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#32 Bognoz

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Posted 20 August 2015 - 10:44 PM

of sand cemented. Occasionally silent as wood grain

and as lethal as a creeping cloud of mustard gas,

punctuated by the thunderous murder of the mortar

indiscriminately hurling air bombs in the enemy face.

All without respite, no real calm, only the steady gales,

the pounding, hardly a moment to savor a flower,


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#33 Bognoz

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Posted 20 August 2015 - 10:47 PM

its serene unfurling of petals, the subtle scent a flower

perfumes its surroundings with. It goes against the grain,

a boy encouraging the drift with his hand, gales

of laughter escaping his lips, curling whisps of gas

eddying upwards towards an innocent's contorted face.

No spice ground to dust in the pharmacist's mortar


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#34 Bognoz

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Posted 20 August 2015 - 10:53 PM

could dispel the stench. The pestle pounds the mortar

bashing raw asafoetida, not the long longed-for flower

one had hoped for. Forget the deceitful feint, one must face

facts, what was once clear has succumbed to the rough grain

of a crude picture. What was once a howl of fun, giving gas

to a somber adolescence of labor, letting loose loud gales


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#35 Bognoz

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Posted 20 August 2015 - 10:56 PM

of laughter, now grows grim, grey, blown away by the gales

of an uncouth storm. Howitzer, cannon, artillery mortar.

The targeted victims retreat coughing from the gas.

Rations of beans are meted out, seeds of an evil flower

planted in the firmament of the bowels. A grain

of hope, a flicker of pain that crosses the face.


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#36 Bognoz

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Posted 20 August 2015 - 11:00 PM

A faint pressure pushing from within, the relaxed face

tightens like a fist, forcing forth the smelly gales

of flatulence. Inside the gut ferments fibrous grain,

filling, expanding, creating a charge for the mortar

to discharge. A putrescent veil begins to flower:

The four horsemen of the apocalypse in a cloud of gas.


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#37 Bognoz

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Posted 20 August 2015 - 11:02 PM

Disfigured by horror the face, an apparition in brick and mortar

petrified, bears the gales from the brown rectal star flower.

Every grass, every grain, bows before the expelled gas.


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#38 Kirk

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Posted 23 August 2015 - 06:08 AM

Pappy with the Khaki sweatband

Bowed goat potbellied barnyard

That only he noticed, the old fart was smart

The old gold cloth Madonna



Dancin' to the fiddle 'n saw

He ran down behind the knoll

'N' slipped on his wooden fishhead

The mouth worked 'n' snapped

All the bees back to the bungalow



Momma was flatten 'n' lard

With her red enamel rollin' pin

When the fishhead broke the window

Rubber eye erect 'n' precisely detailed

Airholes from which breath should come

Is now closely fit with the chatter of the old fart inside



An assortment of observations took place

Momma licked her lips like a cat

Pecked the ground like a rooster

Pivoted like a duck



Her stockings down caught dust 'n' doughballs

She cracked her mouth glaze, caught one eyelash

Rubbed her hands on her gorgeous gingham

Her hands grasped sticky metal intricate latchwork

Open to the room, uh, smell cold mixed with bologna



Rubber bands crumpled wax paper bonnets

Fat goose legs 'n' special jellies

Ignited by the warmth of the room

The old fart smelled this through his important breather holes



Cleverly he dialed from within from the outside we observed

That the nose of the wooden mask

Where the holes had just been a moment ago



Was now smooth amazingly blended camouflaged in

With the very intricate rainbow trout replica

The old fart inside was now breathin' freely

From his perfume bottle atomizer air bulb invention



His excited eyes from within the dark interior glazed

Watered in appreciation of his thoughtful preparation

Uh man, it's so heavy
Cpt Beefheart

 


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#39 Bognoz

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Posted 24 August 2015 - 11:34 AM

Breathe deep the gathering gloom...

 

The Buemy Moos


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#40 Bognoz

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Posted 06 September 2015 - 07:50 PM

And then you get an unhealthy dose

of salmonella bacteria.


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#41 TheGreenOne

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Posted 10 September 2015 - 10:09 AM

—Bun is such a sad word, is it not? And man is not much better, is it?


shuck and jive is an important skill

 

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#42 Bognoz

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Posted 29 September 2016 - 07:49 AM

Oh crap, that bad stain

on the back of my boxers

them ain't no flowers


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#43 Bognoz

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Posted 30 September 2016 - 02:05 AM

Odoriferous

magnificence emanates

from my ass trumpet


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#44 Bognoz

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Posted 30 September 2016 - 02:11 AM

hhu888.jpg


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#45 TheGreenOne

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Posted 30 September 2016 - 09:28 AM

No wonder they can't win a war.


shuck and jive is an important skill

 

I cannot play music on an infinite keyboard.


#46 Bognoz

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Posted 30 September 2016 - 10:36 AM

The wonder is

the comb-over.


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#47 Bognoz

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Posted 30 September 2016 - 10:38 AM

Reminds me of a certain

presidential candidate.


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#48 jaded prol

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Posted 30 September 2016 - 01:52 PM

Which one?


Drinking for medicinal reasons.

You may say I'm a drinker
but I'm not the only one.

#49 Bognoz

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Posted 30 September 2016 - 10:09 PM

Izzis guy running?

I stink it's him.

 

3cc49791bef1591b39ab5992618687c5.jpg


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#50 Bognoz

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Posted 04 October 2016 - 07:46 AM

What is motherless, fatherless,
Born without skin,
Spoke one word
And never spoke again?


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#51 TheGreenOne

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Posted 05 October 2016 - 06:51 AM

fart2.jpeg


shuck and jive is an important skill

 

I cannot play music on an infinite keyboard.


#52 Bognoz

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Posted 06 October 2016 - 06:21 AM

19419266_4.jpg


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#53 TheGreenOne

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Posted 06 October 2016 - 07:46 AM


shuck and jive is an important skill

 

I cannot play music on an infinite keyboard.


#54 Bognoz

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Posted 06 October 2016 - 08:36 PM

Winds at night are always bright,

winds in the morning bedmates take warning.


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#55 TheGreenOne

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Posted 07 October 2016 - 07:47 AM

I kinda like that one.


shuck and jive is an important skill

 

I cannot play music on an infinite keyboard.


#56 Bognoz

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Posted 07 October 2016 - 10:00 AM

Bedmates?


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#57 Bognoz

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Posted 07 October 2016 - 10:01 AM

Yeah, me

2.


Pretty animal doesn't trust you,
unless you prepare a great hot chocolate.

#58 Bognoz

Bognoz

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Posted 08 October 2016 - 02:39 AM

A man walks into a bar and makes a wager with the barkeep.

Sez he, "Twenty dollars sez I can fart the national anthem."

The barkeep, seeing an easy profit, takes up the bet.

The customer clambers up on the polished mahogony bar,

drops his trousers assuming a squatting posture

and proceeds to spray the bar with fecal material.

The bartender, now enraged, raises his voice inquiring,

not politely, "What the hell do you think you're doing?"


Pretty animal doesn't trust you,
unless you prepare a great hot chocolate.

#59 Bognoz

Bognoz

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Posted 08 October 2016 - 02:40 AM

Comes the answer from the dignified bar farter,

"Even Pavarotti has to clear his throat before a performance."


Pretty animal doesn't trust you,
unless you prepare a great hot chocolate.




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