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Weird xit people said to me today


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#1 A.B. Normal

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Posted 13 October 2015 - 04:48 PM

"My girlfriend's great-grandfather was Hitler's veterinarian."

Your turn
There's just too much time to kill between all my mistakes.

#2 Absomphe

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Posted 14 October 2015 - 12:03 PM

"The little girl in that Couroc tray, who's running toward the giant lion, Cheshire cat and giraffe, looks just like your sweetie probably did at the same age, at least from behind."


Edited by Absomphe, 14 October 2015 - 12:25 PM.

To the bar, for flaming Hills enemas!

#3 TheGreenOne

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Posted 15 October 2015 - 08:04 AM

"my cable bill is $200 a month," said by a homeless guy looking for change.


shuck and jive is an important skill

 

I cannot play music on an infinite keyboard.


#4 DrinkSlinger

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Posted 18 October 2015 - 07:28 AM

"This (bone dry gin martini I ordered) is too strong"-

Said by a woman I nearly stabbed through the eyeball.
for some people, there's money in absinthe. And for some, there's only absinthe in absinthe.
.

#5 A.B. Normal

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Posted 18 October 2015 - 12:08 PM

Ok, that's stupid. But that has to be a nice change from, "Gimme an extra shot. I know you guys water it down so you can make more money."
There's just too much time to kill between all my mistakes.

#6 A.B. Normal

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Posted 18 October 2015 - 12:17 PM

And speaking of stupid xit said in bars:
(In Dublin)
American tourist (not me): Can I get a Powers please?
Lovely older Irish barkeep: Yes sir
Stupid American: And do you have Coke?
Sexy Irish silver fox bartender: Coke? Yes. I suppose you'd like some ice, too, so's you can completely feckin' ruin it.
There's just too much time to kill between all my mistakes.

#7 Kirk

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Posted 19 October 2015 - 05:02 AM

"you need an usda for that."


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#8 TheGreenOne

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Posted 20 October 2015 - 09:10 AM

Best name I heard today, GBUBEMI GOD'S COVENANT.


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#9 Bognoz

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Posted 20 October 2015 - 11:27 AM

Worst thing I heard,

not today, but that a mere

suggestion of shadow

on an x-ray didn't look good.

 

Aesthetically, as a matter of balance

on a black and white composition

I thought it was perfectly placed.

 

Fuck me. O Woe. Fuck me.


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unless you prepare a great hot chocolate.

#10 Kirk

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Posted 20 October 2015 - 03:02 PM

Good god.


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#11 Bognoz

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Posted 20 October 2015 - 11:14 PM

It's a dog's life.


Pretty animal doesn't trust you,
unless you prepare a great hot chocolate.

#12 Bognoz

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Posted 20 October 2015 - 11:16 PM

Actually, a dog's femur.


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#13 Kirk

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Posted 22 January 2016 - 06:05 PM

It's colder than a witch's tit in a brass bra.


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#14 jaded prol

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Posted 23 January 2016 - 01:26 PM

I bet it is and that you're socked in big time. GTO too. Nasty here too. Fortunately we still have power. I'm stocked up with food and booze, watching the snow come down.


Drinking for medicinal reasons.

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#15 G&C

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Posted 24 January 2016 - 07:06 AM

Global Warming...


"It never was about absinthe anyway" - artemis 1/16/2015


#16 jaded prol

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Posted 24 January 2016 - 07:42 AM

Indeed,  more moisture in the atmosphere makes worse storms and wackier weather all around.


Drinking for medicinal reasons.

You may say I'm a drinker
but I'm not the only one.

#17 Kirk

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Posted 24 January 2016 - 08:13 AM

It's a shit storm of aged xit particles, born in a pit of it and swirling in a nebulous mass .


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#18 jaded prol

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Posted 24 January 2016 - 10:39 AM

Yep, and now more xit at sea than fish.

 

http://www.commondre...h-worlds-oceans


Drinking for medicinal reasons.

You may say I'm a drinker
but I'm not the only one.

#19 TheGreenOne

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Posted 28 January 2016 - 09:22 AM

Snow over yet?


shuck and jive is an important skill

 

I cannot play music on an infinite keyboard.


#20 Kirk

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Posted 29 January 2016 - 07:14 PM

Yes, thanks, ready for the snow job.


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#21 Absomphe

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Posted 30 January 2016 - 01:26 PM

It's a white outcome, either way.


To the bar, for flaming Hills enemas!

#22 TheGreenOne

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Posted 04 February 2016 - 02:50 PM

If it's white why does it smell brown?


shuck and jive is an important skill

 

I cannot play music on an infinite keyboard.


#23 Kirk

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Posted 05 February 2016 - 05:30 AM

That what she said, after dropping the "kids at the pool"


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#24 Kirk

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Posted 16 February 2016 - 02:48 PM

http://www.liveleak....=58e_1376387543


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#25 Kirk

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Posted 16 February 2016 - 02:50 PM

https://video.search...266&action=view


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