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I Always Think of Liver...


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#1 Crosby

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Posted 14 June 2007 - 04:24 AM

...when I read these kinds of stories

Man Asks for Prison for Stealing Panties
From Associated Press
June 13, 2007 4:35 PM EDT
COLORADO SPRINGS, Colo. - A district judge on Tuesday granted a defendant's unusual request to be sent to prison for breaking into women's homes and stealing their undergarments, his attorney said.

Officials had recommended probation for Steven Quatkemeyer, 40, as part of a plea agreement in which he pleaded guilty to felony stalking and two counts of felony burglary. Prosecutors dropped several misdemeanors and six other felony counts in exchange for the plea.

"I apologize to the families affected from the bottom of my heart," Quatkemeyer told the court. "After a couple of weeks of incarceration, I realized what I had done was very wrong."

He also asked for a prison term and got four years.

"In light of the defendant's request, I will send him to the Department of Corrections," Acting 4th Judicial District Judge Barney Iuppa said.

Defense attorney Mark Rue said Quatkemeyer felt he needed the treatment programs offered by the state prison system.

Police arrested Quatkemeyer for stealing hundreds of pairs of lingerie and panties after a victim who had been subjected to repeated break-ins installed video surveillance equipment.
C'est ma santé

“Never approach a bull from the front, a horse from the rear or a fool from any direction.”


#2 Louched Liver

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Posted 14 June 2007 - 05:38 AM

Peeps wonders
why I have 3
closets for "my"
clothes.
ENORMUS DICK

#3 greeneyes

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Posted 18 June 2007 - 08:03 PM

I keep telling you you should stick to the natural fibers.
It's too hot down here for you to be wearing those nylon-satin jobbers.
What else is in the teaches of Peaches?

#4 Louched Liver

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Posted 18 June 2007 - 08:04 PM

Yeah, like the inferno
it is right the fuck now.
ENORMUS DICK

#5 Nymphadora

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Posted 18 June 2007 - 08:11 PM

How far are you from the beach?
I'm influencing your children.

#6 Louched Liver

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Posted 19 June 2007 - 04:27 AM

Over 1/2 an hour
to Wakulla Beach.

A little redneck hangout
at the dead end of a
bumpy sand road.
ENORMUS DICK

#7 jaded prol

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Posted 19 June 2007 - 06:02 AM

Redneck Riviera
Drinking for medicinal reasons.

You may say I'm a drinker
but I'm not the only one.

#8 TheGreenOne

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Posted 19 June 2007 - 07:27 AM

I get to see the glories of Alabama later today. What year is there anyway?

shuck and jive is an important skill

 

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#9 Louchelooker

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Posted 19 June 2007 - 07:27 AM

Well, unless you roll up to that "beach" with a Confederate flag flying from your car antenae or a Confederate flag tattooed somewhere on your body I wouldn't go there. Rednecks get real restless when they don't see a Confederate flag flying somewhere nearby and restless usually leads to pain. One way or the other.

"You sure do got a pretty mouth."

Them-----> :Smuttttttttty2: <--------You

Edited by Louchelooker, 19 June 2007 - 07:28 AM.

"Yes," said the girl. "Everything tastes of licorice. Especially all the things you've waited so long for, like absinthe." E.H.

#10 TheGreenOne

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Posted 19 June 2007 - 07:32 AM

Mebbie I should wear a RedSox cap.

shuck and jive is an important skill

 

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#11 Louched Liver

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Posted 19 June 2007 - 08:18 AM

Mebbe you
should hide.
ENORMUS DICK

#12 Louched Liver

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Posted 19 June 2007 - 08:19 AM

The Gulf from
here to Pensacola
IS the Redneck
Riviera.

Or, The Forgotten
Coastline, as they
didn't even bother
to put it on a map
of the state some
years ago.
ENORMUS DICK

#13 Louched Liver

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Posted 19 June 2007 - 08:20 AM

I didn't really feel
comfortable at
Wakulla Beach.
The vibe was not
"welcoming", shall
we say.
ENORMUS DICK

#14 jaded prol

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Posted 19 June 2007 - 08:57 AM

Should have shown up offering PBR around but you still need to learn to talk suthun.
Drinking for medicinal reasons.

You may say I'm a drinker
but I'm not the only one.

#15 Louched Liver

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Posted 19 June 2007 - 09:27 AM

Yep.

The Yankee accent+
BMW convertible
w/Pa. plates
marked us.
ENORMUS DICK

#16 Louched Liver

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Posted 19 June 2007 - 09:28 AM

There were lots
and lots of cool
little fiddler crabs
runnin' across the
road.

And grass that stabbed
and the requisite biting
insects.
ENORMUS DICK

#17 Nymphadora

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Posted 19 June 2007 - 02:30 PM

Beach folk weren't welcoming?

You were wearing the marble bag swimmies again, weren't ya?

TGO: I'd hang with you in Bama if my face wasn't so swollen and hurting from my wisdom teeth extraction yesterday. I'm not leaving the house for a week.
I'm influencing your children.

#18 sixela

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Posted 19 June 2007 - 02:33 PM

I'd hang with you in Bama if my face wasn't so swollen and hurting from my wisdom teeth extraction yesterday.

You're vain as a Ted. He isn't coming to gaze in awe at your Perfect (and Unswollen) Face™, you know.

Edited by sixela, 19 June 2007 - 02:34 PM.


#19 Nymphadora

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Posted 19 June 2007 - 02:40 PM

Did you miss the 'hurting' part of that sentence? Like TGO would want to hear me bitch more than I usually do.
I'm influencing your children.

#20 A.B. Normal

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Posted 19 June 2007 - 02:46 PM

This is why we ask for painkillers, dear.
Couple that with a few glasses of absinthe and you're golden.
There's just too much time to kill between all my mistakes.

#21 jaded prol

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Posted 19 June 2007 - 03:37 PM

Yep, that's the ticket!
Drinking for medicinal reasons.

You may say I'm a drinker
but I'm not the only one.

#22 Louched Liver

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Posted 19 June 2007 - 03:44 PM

For pullin'
a Prole?
ENORMUS DICK

#23 Nymphadora

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Posted 19 June 2007 - 10:38 PM

I'm on codeine. Fucker still hurts. It has been pointed out by Liver that I'm a wuss and Grey called me a pussy. Both are correct.

I have to admit that Sixer is right too. I could play stand-in for Brando's Godfather. Sans mustache.

Nope, not leaving the house.
I'm influencing your children.

#24 sixela

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Posted 19 June 2007 - 10:44 PM

Like TGO would want to hear me bitch more than I usually do.

You should sell tickets.

*I* have something else that's swollen and hurting, by the way.

The doctor had said no alcohol. Easier said than done in Boveresse, especially with an 80s village party DJ playing Jan-Jacques Goldman and Daniël Balavoine all the time and not even playing Baila Marcia of les Rita Mitsoukos once.

Alcohol and a hurting arse or boredom - the choice is easy.

Edited by sixela, 19 June 2007 - 10:47 PM.


#25 Nymphadora

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Posted 19 June 2007 - 10:45 PM

:nerv:
I'm influencing your children.

#26 sixela

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Posted 19 June 2007 - 11:35 PM

I's [sic] OK. After surgery, surgeons have assured I'll be less of an arsehole.

Even though I'm a geek, I'm not sure I enjoyed the presentation about the stapling device, though.

Anyway, what are you doing out of bed at such a late time? Creature of the night just like Crosby?

Edited by sixela, 19 June 2007 - 11:39 PM.


#27 Nymphadora

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Posted 20 June 2007 - 02:39 AM

I'm not out of bed. I'm lying here with my laptop.

During the school year, I wake early and go to bed early. It is now my summer vacation and I am once again a night owl.
I'm influencing your children.

#28 jaded prol

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Posted 20 June 2007 - 03:10 AM

Hope you feel better soon.
Drinking for medicinal reasons.

You may say I'm a drinker
but I'm not the only one.

#29 Louched Liver

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Posted 20 June 2007 - 05:50 AM

And there's the
Prole to prey...
ENORMUS DICK

#30 Louched Liver

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Posted 20 June 2007 - 05:51 AM

6oid,
You and I should
start the Brotherhood
of the Sore Arse's.
ENORMUS DICK

#31 jaded prol

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Posted 20 June 2007 - 05:53 AM

Yeah, you guys are real cheeky.
Drinking for medicinal reasons.

You may say I'm a drinker
but I'm not the only one.

#32 sixela

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Posted 20 June 2007 - 07:03 AM

6oid,
You and I should
start the Brotherhood
of the Sore Arse's.


No time left. I'm saying goobye to (part of) my sore arse on Monday.

#33 A.B. Normal

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Posted 20 June 2007 - 07:29 AM

When I start to feel old,
it always helps to come in here.
There's just too much time to kill between all my mistakes.

#34 sixela

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Posted 20 June 2007 - 09:24 AM

My doctors have said that my condition is singularly uncharacteristic of a man of my age.

So it's probably true that I'm an arsehole.

Edited by sixela, 20 June 2007 - 09:24 AM.


#35 Nymphadora

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Posted 20 June 2007 - 11:36 AM

Prol: Thank you, dear. You're such a charmer. (So is the Mrs.)
I'm influencing your children.

#36 greeneyes

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Posted 20 June 2007 - 12:07 PM

...The Forgotten
Coastline, as they
didn't even bother
to put it on a map
of the state some
years ago....

He's being factual there.
The map omission resulted in the locals
(mostly in an attempt to drum up businiess
for moldering motels and shops that sell
toilet paper cozies made out of driftwood and seashells)
calling it as the "Forgotten Coast."

I tend to think of it
(more accurately, I believe;
see for instance the references
to moldering motels and the shabby redneck beach)
as the "Forsaken Coast."
What else is in the teaches of Peaches?

#37 greeneyes

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Posted 20 June 2007 - 12:08 PM

Gosh, Six. Sorry about your ass. Truly. At least you're able to embrace and make fun of the indignity of it.
What else is in the teaches of Peaches?

#38 sixela

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Posted 20 June 2007 - 12:29 PM

I can now. When I was having chest pains out of anaemia-induced angina pectoris, I wasn't so thrilled.

#39 Nymphadora

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Posted 20 June 2007 - 12:58 PM

I hope your ass feels better soon, Six.

Sheesh, that was awkward.
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#40 sixela

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Posted 20 June 2007 - 01:01 PM

AWkward™, even.

But only people who were in Boveresse will understand that, even though we might have the esteemed inventor (and master interpreting artist) among us shortly.

#41 Louched Liver

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Posted 20 June 2007 - 01:04 PM

oh boy
ENORMUS DICK

#42 sixela

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Posted 20 June 2007 - 01:18 PM

You can always refuse admission (or chase her away with bitchforks, the preferred alternative in these parts).

Edited by sixela, 20 June 2007 - 01:54 PM.


#43 Louched Liver

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Posted 20 June 2007 - 01:34 PM

We'll see what we see.
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#44 Louched Liver

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Posted 20 June 2007 - 01:34 PM

And you misspelled
"bitchforks".
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#45 sixela

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Posted 20 June 2007 - 01:55 PM

Nothing a bit of editing can't fix...

Edited by sixela, 20 June 2007 - 01:55 PM.


#46 Louched Liver

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Posted 20 June 2007 - 04:19 PM

Now Dr. O's gonna phreak.
ENORMUS DICK

#47 jaded prol

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Posted 20 June 2007 - 04:22 PM

How will anyone know the difference?
Drinking for medicinal reasons.

You may say I'm a drinker
but I'm not the only one.

#48 Louched Liver

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Posted 21 June 2007 - 04:20 AM

Nor care, actually.
ENORMUS DICK

#49 Hobgoblin

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Posted 22 June 2007 - 10:29 AM

Man Asks for Prison for Stealing Panties

He also asked for a prison term and got four years.

"In light of the defendant's request, I will send him to the Department of Corrections," Acting 4th Judicial District Judge Barney Iuppa said.


Holy Shit!!

You don't mess around on your side of the pond. Four years in prison for stealing a few pairs of panties!!!

Over here people don't get much more than that for committing murder.

We are way too soft on criminals here in the UK, but 4 years for stealing a few pairs of panties!! Seems a trifle harsh really.

#50 Louched Liver

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Posted 22 June 2007 - 10:31 AM

She was
wearing 'em.
ENORMUS DICK

#51 Le Gimp

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Posted 22 June 2007 - 11:38 AM

Now Dr. O's gonna phreak.



Ya know, he has been pretty quiet what with the release of a non-bitter Absinthe here in the USA. I guess he just decided it was not real absinthe and not worth the effort of posting. Yea, he did post a bit before the release but has been unusually quiet since then.
"To announce that there must be no criticism of the President, or that we are to stand by the President, right or wrong, is not only unpatriotic and servile, but is morally treasonable to the American public." - Theodore Roosevelt

#52 TheGreenOne

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Posted 22 June 2007 - 04:13 PM

TGO: I'd hang with you in Bama if my face wasn't so swollen and hurting from my wisdom teeth extraction yesterday. I'm not leaving the house for a week.

Too bad you didn't let me know -- I could have educated you on benefits of percsinthe.

shuck and jive is an important skill

 

I cannot play music on an infinite keyboard.


#53 Nymphadora

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Posted 22 June 2007 - 09:00 PM

Still feelin' and look like hell. Apparently, the healing time is quick and easy when you're a youngun.

And no age jokes, Mr. Dinky! You and I are the same year.

How was your sojourn to Bama, TGO? Plenty of Nascar souvenirs, rebel flags, and Ford pissing on Chevy and Chevy pissing on Ford stickers.

Edited by Nymphadora, 22 June 2007 - 09:06 PM.

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#54 G&C

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Posted 22 June 2007 - 09:08 PM

I thought it was:

Pisson
Nisson

"It never was about absinthe anyway" - artemis 1/16/2015


#55 Nymphadora

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Posted 22 June 2007 - 09:15 PM

The boys round these parts are mighty particular about their engines.

Even if they are up on blocks in the front yard.
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#56 TheGreenOne

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Posted 23 June 2007 - 10:38 AM

Everyone was very nice -- until I explained that I was from Washington and there to take their guns.

shuck and jive is an important skill

 

I cannot play music on an infinite keyboard.


#57 Louched Liver

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Posted 23 June 2007 - 11:16 AM

They are very nice
on the surface down
here.

But, below that is only
nuttin'.
ENORMUS DICK

#58 Nymphadora

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Posted 23 June 2007 - 12:19 PM

Damn carpetbagger.
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#59 TheGreenOne

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Posted 23 June 2007 - 01:33 PM

Although insisting on keeping their guns, the natives were generous with their women and livestock.

shuck and jive is an important skill

 

I cannot play music on an infinite keyboard.


#60 Louched Liver

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Posted 23 June 2007 - 01:34 PM

Same thing...
ENORMUS DICK

#61 sixela

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Posted 24 June 2007 - 08:32 AM

And no age jokes, Mr. Dinky! You and I are the same year.

Next you'll be telling us you're preying on impressionable young males.

Oh, what was your profession again?

#62 G&C

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Posted 24 June 2007 - 08:38 AM

Same as Mary Kay Letourneau.

"It never was about absinthe anyway" - artemis 1/16/2015


#63 sixela

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Posted 24 June 2007 - 09:58 AM

Naah -- she 's now happily married to the father of her children.

#64 Nymphadora

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Posted 24 June 2007 - 10:26 AM

Actually, I have to (literally) push away unwanted ardour. The monsters keep trying to hug me in the hallway. Makes me feel creepy.
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#65 Louched Liver

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Posted 24 June 2007 - 10:59 AM

On a 'cuz
yer a creep.
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#66 Nymphadora

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Posted 24 June 2007 - 01:41 PM

Could be on to somethin' there.
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#67 Crosby

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Posted 24 June 2007 - 03:38 PM

You're vain as a Ted.

Is that possible?
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#68 Louched Liver

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Posted 24 June 2007 - 03:40 PM

Compare mental
images----------->
ENORMUS DICK

#69 Louched Liver

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Posted 24 June 2007 - 03:40 PM

Um, no.
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#70 greeneyes

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Posted 24 June 2007 - 03:54 PM

Cros is mintier than Ted, hands down.
What else is in the teaches of Peaches?

#71 Louched Liver

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Posted 24 June 2007 - 04:03 PM

When were you
around TBone?
ENORMUS DICK

#72 greeneyes

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Posted 24 June 2007 - 04:46 PM

Hey, you're entitled to disagree.
What else is in the teaches of Peaches?




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