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Are you a Democrat, Republican or a Redneck ?


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#1 Crosby

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Posted 10 July 2006 - 10:53 PM

> >Here is a little test that will help you decide. The answer can be found by
> > posing the following situation and question:
> >
> > You're walking down a deserted street with your wife and two small children.
> > Suddenly, an Islamic Terrorist with a huge knife comes around the corner,
> > locks eyes with you, screams obscenities, praises Allah, raises the knife,
> > and charges at you. You are carrying a Glock cal 40, and you are an expert
> > shot. You have mere seconds before he reaches you and your family. What do
> > you do?
> > ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
> >
> >
> >
> > Democrat's Answer:
> > Well, that's not enough information to answer the question! Does the man
> > look poor! Or oppressed? Have I ever done anything to him that would inspire
> > him to attack? Could we run away? What does my wife think? What about the
> > kids? Could I possibly swing the gun like a club and knock the knife out of
> > his hand? What does the law say about this situation? Does the Glock have
> > appropriate safety built into it? Why am I carrying a loaded gun anyway, and
> > what kind of message does this send to society and to my
> > children? Is it possible he'd be happy with just killing me? Does he
> > definitely want to kill me, or would he be content just to wound me? If I
> > were to grab his knees and hold on, could my family get away while he was
> > stabbing me? Should I call 9-1-1? Why is this street so deserted? We need to
> > raise taxes, have a paint and weed day and make this a happier, healthier
> > street that would discourage such behavior. This is all so confusing! I need
> > to discuss with some friends over a latte and try to come to a consensus.
> > ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
> >
> > Republican's Answer:
> > BANG!
> > ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
> >
> > Redneck's Answer:
> > BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! Click..... (sounds of
> > reloading). BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG!BANG! click ...
> > Daughter: "Nice grouping, Daddy! Were those the Winchester Silver Tips or
> > Hollow Points?" Son: "You got him Pop! Can I shoot the next one?" Wife: "You
> > are not taking that to the Taxidermist!"
C'est ma santé

“Never approach a bull from the front, a horse from the rear or a fool from any direction.”


#2 Wild Bill Turkey

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Posted 11 July 2006 - 01:36 AM

I would disarm the emotionally victimized fellow being using the valuable self-defense techniques I learned during my assertiveness training.

I would try to help him see new ways of redirecting his hostile feelings into productive projects and efforts that promote real growth. I would help him to see the possibilities in life that go beyond violence and hatred.

Pull him out of the cycle of bloodshed that has been his prison, and show him the world filled with light, and harmony. Give him a reason to love living.Then shoot him.
It's all fun and games until someone loses an eye. Then it's just fun.

#3 greeneyes

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Posted 11 July 2006 - 04:24 AM

If I have a wife and two kids,
I am clearly aligned with whichever party
established marriage rights for lesbians.
What else is in the teaches of Peaches?

#4 CelticGent

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Posted 11 July 2006 - 05:53 AM

Democrat's answer:
Holy shit, Bruce, kiss me before I shot this jerk while you get these two Iraqi children that we just saved from being executed by those redneck cunts to safety! What the fuck are we even DOING in this hell hole! I only wanted to go to college for free and meet a nice boy to take home to Connecticut!

Republican's answer: *looks at his driver* "SHOOT THAT FUCKING RAGHEAD, PABLO!!! YOU KNOW HOW EASILY YOU CAN BE REPLACED WITH ANOTHER ILLEGAL IMMIGRANT!"


Redneck's answer:
Sheeee-it! I thut we killed all theez raghead sumbitches when me'n bubba burned down their mollusk last weekend.
the fresh maker

#5 Louchelooker

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Posted 11 July 2006 - 12:55 PM

I would disarm the emotionally victimized fellow being using the valuable self-defense techniques I learned during my assertiveness training.

I would try to help him see new ways of redirecting his hostile feelings into productive projects and efforts that promote real growth. I would help him to see the possibilities in life that go beyond violence and hatred.

Pull him out of the cycle of bloodshed that has been his prison, and show him the world filled with light, and harmony. Give him a reason to love living.Then shoot him.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Schweeeeet! Billy boy you are truly evil. Much respect. :alc:
"Yes," said the girl. "Everything tastes of licorice. Especially all the things you've waited so long for, like absinthe." E.H.

#6 Le Gimp

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Posted 12 July 2006 - 08:21 AM

I'd just shoot him in the balls and be done with him.

Lets see what he does with those 7 virgins after that.

Edited by Le Gimp, 12 July 2006 - 08:22 AM.

"To announce that there must be no criticism of the President, or that we are to stand by the President, right or wrong, is not only unpatriotic and servile, but is morally treasonable to the American public." - Theodore Roosevelt

#7 CelticGent

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Posted 12 July 2006 - 08:30 AM

there's gotta be a loophole, spuck.

cause i'm guessing that they also lose their genitals when they strap a bomb to their person and blow everything up...
the fresh maker

#8 Louchelooker

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Posted 12 July 2006 - 02:10 PM

Plus I think they get like 70 virgins or something. I don't think it would be worth it for 7.
"Yes," said the girl. "Everything tastes of licorice. Especially all the things you've waited so long for, like absinthe." E.H.

#9 Crosby

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Posted 12 July 2006 - 02:32 PM

...™

Attached Files


C'est ma santé

“Never approach a bull from the front, a horse from the rear or a fool from any direction.”


#10 A.B. Normal

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Posted 12 July 2006 - 02:37 PM

To quote Dennis Miller,

"The first half-dozen or so will be nice, but after that, I'm going to want a pro."
There's just too much time to kill between all my mistakes.

#11 Porkio

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Posted 31 July 2006 - 12:40 PM

Those are all stupid answers. If that ever actually happened, the only clear solution is to invade Iraq.




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