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FINALLY...THE BLONDE JOKE TO END ALL BLONDE JOKES!


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#1 solaris54

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Posted 30 March 2011 - 06:08 PM

FINALLY...THE BLONDE JOKE TO END ALL BLONDE JOKES!


A blonde woman was speeding down the road in her little red sports car and was pulled over by a woman police officer, who was also a blonde.
The blonde cop asked to see the blonde driver's license.
She dug through her purse and was getting progressively more agitated.

- 'What does it look like?' she finally asked.


The policewoman replied, 'It's square and it has your picture on it.'

The driver finally found a square mirror in her purse, looked at it and handed it to the policewoman. 'Here it is,' she said.

The blonde officer looked at the mirror, then handed it back saying, "OK, you can go. I didn't realize you were a cop."
I eat paste.

#2 Louched Liver

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Posted 30 March 2011 - 07:58 PM

We still think you're the joke.
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#3 G&C

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Posted 30 March 2011 - 08:19 PM

Must be a bland.

"It never was about absinthe anyway" - artemis 1/16/2015


#4 solaris54

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Posted 30 March 2011 - 08:22 PM

Aww come on where is your sense of humor. Must of hit a sore spot with you......sorry sweetie...
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#5 G&C

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Posted 30 March 2011 - 08:25 PM

Hey, Liver.

What spot of yours did this thing hit?

"It never was about absinthe anyway" - artemis 1/16/2015


#6 solaris54

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Posted 30 March 2011 - 08:30 PM

Probably his blonde side.
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#7 Bognoz

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Posted 30 March 2011 - 08:56 PM

Such acute awareness.
It appears you can
blind-sided from all angles.

Lucky you enjoy abuse.
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unless you prepare a great hot chocolate.

#8 DrinkSlinger

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Posted 31 March 2011 - 12:48 AM

At least you tried.
for some people, there's money in absinthe. And for some, there's only absinthe in absinthe.
.

#9 Zippy

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Posted 31 March 2011 - 03:38 AM

Give him a break, he's obviously a Pinhead!

I wonder if he'll start making swill like our Polish brother.

#10 Bognoz

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Posted 31 March 2011 - 03:46 AM

Nobody cd make like him.
Butt him.
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#11 Bognoz

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Posted 31 March 2011 - 03:47 AM

Butt that wdn't stop someone
as clever as soildarse.

Edited by Bognoz, 31 March 2011 - 03:48 AM.

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#12 solaris54

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Posted 31 March 2011 - 05:16 AM

Thanks........I got your back
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#13 Absomphe

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Posted 31 March 2011 - 05:21 AM

Better not drop the soap, Bugz.
To the bar, for flaming Hills enemas!

#14 jaded prol

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Posted 31 March 2011 - 05:58 AM

He's definitely a pinhead.
Drinking for medicinal reasons.

You may say I'm a drinker
but I'm not the only one.

#15 solaris54

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Posted 31 March 2011 - 05:59 AM

Yes don't drop it............you might slip and fall and hurt yourself.
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#16 G&C

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Posted 31 March 2011 - 07:56 AM

...™

"It never was about absinthe anyway" - artemis 1/16/2015


#17 Bognoz

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Posted 31 March 2011 - 08:28 AM

I hope the Pole befriends him
and sends samples to educate him.
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#18 G&C

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Posted 31 March 2011 - 08:30 AM

I'm hoping the sample kit...

"It never was about absinthe anyway" - artemis 1/16/2015


#19 Louched Liver

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Posted 31 March 2011 - 08:39 AM

Enough Boggy Bog Water samples
and SoreAssKiss will be kaput.
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#20 solaris54

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Posted 31 March 2011 - 09:17 AM

Just send the damn things
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#21 TheGreenOne

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Posted 31 March 2011 - 09:23 AM

Yes, they are damned. You got that one right.

shuck and jive is an important skill

 

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#22 Absomphe

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Posted 31 March 2011 - 05:23 PM

Maybe, butt even Satan wouldn't drink 'em.
To the bar, for flaming Hills enemas!

#23 solaris54

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Posted 31 March 2011 - 05:49 PM

Yes but I would.............
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#24 G&C

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Posted 31 March 2011 - 07:11 PM

be sorry if you did.

"It never was about absinthe anyway" - artemis 1/16/2015


#25 Bognoz

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Posted 31 March 2011 - 07:46 PM

Begging for Bog juice
may be the most telling
thing you've written here.
Pretty animal doesn't trust you,
unless you prepare a great hot chocolate.

#26 solaris54

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Posted 31 March 2011 - 07:57 PM

Truthfully I don't even know what it is.
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#27 Bognoz

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Posted 31 March 2011 - 08:02 PM

A dumbass pile-on
of one. Brilliant.
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unless you prepare a great hot chocolate.

#28 Louched Liver

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Posted 31 March 2011 - 11:22 PM

Correction-
1
2
many.
ENORMUS DICK

#29 solaris54

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Posted 01 April 2011 - 04:15 PM

Due to popular demand:

Fix The Dents
A blonde was driving home after work, and got caught in a really bad hailstorm.
Her car was covered with dents, so the next day she took it to a repair shop.
The shop owner saw that she was a blonde, so he decided to have some fun.
He told her to just go home and blow into the tailpipe really hard,
and all the dents would pop out.
So, the blonde went home, got down on her hands and knees and started blowing into her car's tailpipe.Nothing happened.
She blew a little harder, and still nothing happened. Her roommate, another blonde, came home and said, "What are you doing?"
The first blonde told her how the repairman had instructed her to blow into the tailpipe in order to get the dents to pop out.
Her roommate rolled her eyes and said,
..."HELLLLOOOO!!!You need to roll up the windows."
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#30 Louched Liver

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Posted 03 April 2011 - 09:35 AM

Like everyone else, I'm sure, I didn't read it.
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#31 Louched Liver

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Posted 03 April 2011 - 09:36 AM

Thanks for wasting bandwidth.
ENORMUS DICK

#32 Engineer_Poelzig

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Posted 03 April 2011 - 11:10 AM

Begging for Bog juice
may be the most telling
thing you've written here.


It would solve a nagging problem.

"Before we begin, you must be warned.  Nothing here is vegetarian" Dr.Hannibal Lechter M.D. 


#33 solaris54

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Posted 03 April 2011 - 03:06 PM

You know you all read it and laughed and now are asking for more. I'm going to punish you and make you wait for awhile because of your mean spirited comments.
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#34 Absomphe

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Posted 03 April 2011 - 03:29 PM

Go cry, emo biatch.
To the bar, for flaming Hills enemas!

#35 Louched Liver

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Posted 03 April 2011 - 05:34 PM

SnoreAssKiss,
Yer a bigger joke than any you could post.
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#36 solaris54

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Posted 03 April 2011 - 06:45 PM

I dont think I could group you as a Horses Ass...........that would be an insult to the horse and to Absomphe. You are more of a Jack Ass!!!
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#37 Bognoz

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Posted 03 April 2011 - 07:35 PM

Jack's ass is sweet.
Gravity free.

And ready to unload
on dumbfucks like you.
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unless you prepare a great hot chocolate.

#38 solaris54

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Posted 03 April 2011 - 07:55 PM

That didn't rhyme very well. Surely you can do better than that?
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#39 Bognoz

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Posted 03 April 2011 - 09:07 PM

You suck
dumb fuck.
Pretty animal doesn't trust you,
unless you prepare a great hot chocolate.

#40 solaris54

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Posted 03 April 2011 - 09:20 PM

You are so romantic when you say your antics......
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#41 Bognoz

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Posted 03 April 2011 - 09:41 PM

Why are you here?
Pretty animal doesn't trust you,
unless you prepare a great hot chocolate.

#42 solaris54

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Posted 03 April 2011 - 09:52 PM

You would miss me if I left you all alone.
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#43 Bognoz

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Posted 03 April 2011 - 10:51 PM

Seriously, why are you here?
Pretty animal doesn't trust you,
unless you prepare a great hot chocolate.

#44 solaris54

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Posted 03 April 2011 - 11:33 PM

Why do you ask such silly questions?
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#45 Bognoz

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Posted 04 April 2011 - 12:10 AM

Even handed an opportunity on a silver platter
you choose to be an insulting dumbfuck.

You must be a model member at H5.
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#46 solaris54

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Posted 04 April 2011 - 12:22 AM

What opportunity?

Insulting?

Model Member........Yes!!

Thank you....Sir
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#47 G&C

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Posted 04 April 2011 - 12:57 AM

Are we still on the blonde thing?

"It never was about absinthe anyway" - artemis 1/16/2015


#48 Bognoz

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Posted 04 April 2011 - 01:21 AM

Being on a blonde thang wood
hafta be more pleasanter than this.
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#49 Louched Liver

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Posted 04 April 2011 - 06:31 AM

Time to ignore it and let the festering burst so it dies.
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#50 G&C

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Posted 04 April 2011 - 10:28 AM

I tried that with a foot fungus.

It didn't work.

"It never was about absinthe anyway" - artemis 1/16/2015


#51 Bognoz

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Posted 04 April 2011 - 10:35 AM

Like with foot fungus,
pissing on it
can be surprisingly effective.
Pretty animal doesn't trust you,
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#52 G&C

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Posted 04 April 2011 - 10:39 AM

Indeed!

"It never was about absinthe anyway" - artemis 1/16/2015


#53 jaded prol

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Posted 04 April 2011 - 02:14 PM

I do that pre-emptively!
Drinking for medicinal reasons.

You may say I'm a drinker
but I'm not the only one.

#54 Louched Liver

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Posted 04 April 2011 - 03:00 PM

Me too, especially someone else's feet.
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#55 Bognoz

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Posted 04 April 2011 - 10:13 PM

And there you have it,
loud and proud,
the golden oldies.
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unless you prepare a great hot chocolate.

#56 Kirk

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Posted 05 April 2011 - 05:15 AM

Does it work if I leave my boots on?
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#57 G&C

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Posted 05 April 2011 - 05:31 AM

Only if they're flow thru boots or you piss in them.

"It never was about absinthe anyway" - artemis 1/16/2015


#58 G&C

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Posted 05 April 2011 - 05:31 AM

Slosh.

"It never was about absinthe anyway" - artemis 1/16/2015


#59 G&C

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Posted 05 April 2011 - 05:31 AM

Slosh.

"It never was about absinthe anyway" - artemis 1/16/2015


#60 Bognoz

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Posted 05 April 2011 - 06:07 AM

The whole point is to piss
on the offending infection.

Fun guy or not so fun guy.
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#61 G&C

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Posted 05 April 2011 - 06:31 AM

Hey!

"It never was about absinthe anyway" - artemis 1/16/2015


#62 G&C

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Posted 05 April 2011 - 06:32 AM

Work with us here, already!

"It never was about absinthe anyway" - artemis 1/16/2015


#63 Bognoz

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Posted 05 April 2011 - 09:19 AM

Urine.
He's out.

How much better
cd it work?
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#64 solaris54

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Posted 05 April 2011 - 04:08 PM

Golden Showers can be quite exhilarating...........
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#65 Absomphe

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Posted 05 April 2011 - 05:47 PM

Or so you've brainwashed yourself into believing, after being on the receiving end of so many.
To the bar, for flaming Hills enemas!

#66 solaris54

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Posted 05 April 2011 - 06:17 PM

No.............actual past experiences
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#67 Bognoz

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Posted 05 April 2011 - 09:15 PM

Mebbe it's time to let
Kirk exhilarate him
with his boots on.
Pretty animal doesn't trust you,
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#68 G&C

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Posted 05 April 2011 - 09:27 PM

Chuckle out loud...

"It never was about absinthe anyway" - artemis 1/16/2015


#69 G&C

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Posted 05 April 2011 - 09:27 PM

Really, I did.

"It never was about absinthe anyway" - artemis 1/16/2015


#70 solaris54

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Posted 30 April 2011 - 10:46 AM

So who is ready for another one?
I eat paste.

#71 G&C

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Posted 30 April 2011 - 03:30 PM

What a Dumass.

"It never was about absinthe anyway" - artemis 1/16/2015


#72 solaris54

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Posted 30 April 2011 - 04:01 PM

Well not all blondes are Dumass. Don't be so judgemental.
I eat paste.

#73 G&C

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Posted 30 April 2011 - 04:17 PM

Doesn't matter the color of your hair.
You're still a Dumass.

"It never was about absinthe anyway" - artemis 1/16/2015


#74 G&C

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Posted 20 June 2011 - 12:53 PM

Three girls all worked in the same office with the same female boss. Each day, they noticed the boss left work early. One day the girls decided that, when the boss left, they would leave right behind her. After all, she never called or came back to work, so how would she know they went home early?

The brunette was thrilled to be home early. She did a little gardening, spent playtime with her son and went to bed early.

The redhead was elated to be able to get in a quick workout at the spa before meeting a dinner date.

The blonde was happy to get home early and surprise her husband, but when she got to her bedroom, she heard a muffled noise from inside.
Slowly and quietly, she cracked open the door and was mortified to see her husband in bed with her lady boss Gently, she closed the door and crept out of her house.

The next day, at their coffee break, the brunette and redhead planned to leave early again and they asked the blonde if she was going to go with them.
"No way," the blonde exclaimed. "I almost got caught yesterday.

"It never was about absinthe anyway" - artemis 1/16/2015


#75 G&C

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Posted 02 March 2012 - 05:15 PM

A teacher in a Detroit kindergarten class asked the kids what sound a pig makes.

Little Tyrone stood up and yelled:
"FREEZE, MUTHAFUCKA!!"

I guess there aren't many farms in Detroit..

"It never was about absinthe anyway" - artemis 1/16/2015


#76 G&C

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Posted 19 April 2012 - 06:23 PM

An Alabama preacher said to his congregation, 'Someone in this congregation
has spread a rumor that I belong to the Ku Klux Klan.

This is a horrible lie and one which a Christian community cannot tolerate.
I am embarrassed and do not intend to accept this. Now, I want the party who
did this to stand and ask forgiveness from God and this Christian Family.'
No one moved. The preacher continued, 'Do you have the nerve to face me and
admit this is a falsehood?

Remember, you will be forgiven and in your heart you will feel glory. Now
stand and confess your transgression.' Again all was quiet.

Then slowly, a drop dead gorgeous blonde with a body that would stop traffic
rose from the third pew.
Her head was bowed and her voice quivered as she spoke, 'Reverend there has
been a terrible misunderstanding.. I never said you were a member of the Ku
Klux Klan. I simply told a couple of my friends that you were a wizard under
the sheets.'

"It never was about absinthe anyway" - artemis 1/16/2015





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