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How Many Times has this Happened to YOU


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#1 solaris54

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Posted 04 April 2012 - 09:08 AM

On the first day, she sadly packed her belongings
> > > into boxes, crates and suitcases.
> > > On the second day, she had the movers come and collect her things.
> > >
> > > On the third day, she sat down for the last time at their beautiful
> > dining-room table, by candle-light; she put on some soft background
> > music, and feasted on a pound of shrimp, a jar
> > > of caviar,and a bottle of spring-water.
> > >
> > > When she'd finished, she went into each and every room and deposited a
> > few half-eaten shrimps dipped in caviar into the hollow center of the
> > curtain rods.
> > >
> > > She then cleaned up the kitchen and left.
> > > On the fourth day, the husband came back with his new girlfriend, and
> > at first all was bliss.
> > >
> > > Then, slowly, the house began to smell.
> > >
> > >
> > >
> > >
> > >
> > > They tried everything; cleaning, mopping, and airing-out the place.
> > >
> > > Vents were checked for dead rodents, and carpets were steam cleaned.
> > >
> > > Air fresheners were hung everywhere. Exterminators were brought in to
> > set off gas canisters, during which time the two had to move out for a
> > few days, and in the end they even paid to replace the expensive
> > > wool carpeting. Nothing worked!
> > >
> > >
> > >
> > >
> > >
> > > People stopped coming over to visit.
> > >
> > > Repairmen refused to work in the house.
> > >
> > >
> > >
> > >
> > >
> > > The maid quit.
> > >
> > > Finally, they couldn't take the stench any longer, and decided
> > > they had to move, but a month later - even though they'd cut
> > > their price in half - they couldn't find a buyer for such a stinky
> > house.
> > >
> > > Word got out, and eventually even the local realtors refused to
> > > return their calls.
> > >
> > > Finally, unable to wait any longer for a purchaser, they had to borrow
> > a huge sum of money from the bank to purchase a new
> > > place.
> > >
> > > Then the ex-wife called the man and asked how things were going. He
> > > told her the saga of the rotting house. She listened politely and said
> > that she missed her old home terribly and would be willing to reduce her
> > divorce settlement in exchange for having the house.
> > >
> > > Knowing she could have no idea how bad the smell really was, he agreed
> > on a price that was only 1/10 th of what the house had been worth ...
> > but only if she would sign the papers that very day.
> > >
> > > She agreed, and within two hours
> > > his lawyers delivered the completed paperwork.
> > >
> > > A week later the man and his girlfriend stood smiling as they
> > > watched the moving company pack everything to take to their new home
> > ....
> > >
> > > and to spite the ex-wife, they even took the curtain rods!
> > >
> > >
> > >
> > >
> > >
> > >
> > > I LOVE A HAPPY ENDING, DON'T YOU?
> > >
> > >
> > >
> > >
> > >
> > >
> > >
> > >
> > >
> > >
> > >
> > >
> > >
> > >
I eat paste.

#2 Félix

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Posted 04 April 2012 - 10:14 AM

Cette histoire n'est pas heureuse, donc mon ami était cet homme.
Je ne vais pas parler l'anglais plus. Ce n'est pas la chouette ! - Félix

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#3 Bognoz

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Posted 04 April 2012 - 11:48 AM

I already read about this one.

The ex had a locking blade
and a twat full of bad shrimp.
Pretty animal doesn't trust you,
unless you prepare a great hot chocolate.

#4 Bognoz

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Posted 04 April 2012 - 11:49 AM

X(it™) eats xrimp
on demand.
Pretty animal doesn't trust you,
unless you prepare a great hot chocolate.

#5 Louchelooker

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Posted 05 April 2012 - 09:30 AM

Free Solaris!
"Yes," said the girl. "Everything tastes of licorice. Especially all the things you've waited so long for, like absinthe." E.H.

#6 G&C

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Posted 05 April 2012 - 10:17 AM

Who the fuck is Solaris?

"It never was about absinthe anyway" - artemis 1/16/2015


#7 Bognoz

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Posted 05 April 2012 - 11:34 AM

Just some X(it™)
the Licker likes.
Pretty animal doesn't trust you,
unless you prepare a great hot chocolate.

#8 G&C

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Posted 05 April 2012 - 11:42 AM

Puppets and puppeteers suck.

"It never was about absinthe anyway" - artemis 1/16/2015


#9 Bognoz

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Posted 05 April 2012 - 12:43 PM

Fisting woodn't be so speshul
if everyone was more relaxed.
Pretty animal doesn't trust you,
unless you prepare a great hot chocolate.

#10 Louchelooker

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Posted 08 April 2012 - 06:25 AM

I never said I likked it..I just thinx it would be makin' this place a bit more hearty..arrrhhhh..
"Yes," said the girl. "Everything tastes of licorice. Especially all the things you've waited so long for, like absinthe." E.H.

#11 solaris54

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Posted 29 April 2012 - 10:26 AM

Who the fuck is Solaris?


Your destiny.
I eat paste.

#12 Bognoz

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Posted 29 April 2012 - 12:41 PM

???

Posted Image
Pretty animal doesn't trust you,
unless you prepare a great hot chocolate.

#13 Louchelooker

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Posted 01 May 2012 - 06:05 PM

Free Solaris!
"Yes," said the girl. "Everything tastes of licorice. Especially all the things you've waited so long for, like absinthe." E.H.

#14 TheGreenOne

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Posted 02 May 2012 - 10:39 AM

The book was ok but I don't know that the movie is worth freeing.

Attached Files


shuck and jive is an important skill

 

I cannot play music on an infinite keyboard.


#15 artemis

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Posted 03 May 2012 - 08:31 AM

I've seen part of it. I would watch the whole thing if it was free.
You might be surprised how well old goat sausages are able to stand up to the heat.

#16 TheGreenOne

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Posted 03 May 2012 - 10:17 AM

I would watch the whole thing if my time were free.

shuck and jive is an important skill

 

I cannot play music on an infinite keyboard.


#17 Bognoz

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Posted 03 May 2012 - 11:23 AM

Whenever I see Clooney
it feels like I'm being sold
something.
Pretty animal doesn't trust you,
unless you prepare a great hot chocolate.

#18 Bognoz

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Posted 03 May 2012 - 11:24 AM

Too commercial
to be free.
Pretty animal doesn't trust you,
unless you prepare a great hot chocolate.

#19 TheGreenOne

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Posted 03 May 2012 - 12:15 PM

I'm a Clooney fan.

shuck and jive is an important skill

 

I cannot play music on an infinite keyboard.


#20 Bognoz

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Posted 03 May 2012 - 12:40 PM

There's that.
Then there's this.

No fucking around.
Pretty animal doesn't trust you,
unless you prepare a great hot chocolate.

#21 Absinthe_1900

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Posted 03 May 2012 - 04:30 PM

I'm a Clooney fan.


I like that group when this early member of the 27 club was there.

Edited by Absinthe_1900, 03 May 2012 - 04:32 PM.

Remember, an armed TXLF is a polite TXLF

#22 G&C

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Posted 03 May 2012 - 06:59 PM

Rosemary I'll take.
George can suck my hemorrhoids.

"It never was about absinthe anyway" - artemis 1/16/2015


#23 Kirk

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Posted 03 May 2012 - 07:00 PM

http://laist.com/201...d_in_jail_c.php
Has this ever happened to you?
Tool making Bi-Ped
http://www.absintheherbs.com

#24 Félix

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Posted 04 May 2012 - 12:06 PM

I would watch the whole thing if my time were free.


Tu es très occupé ...
Je ne vais pas parler l'anglais plus. Ce n'est pas la chouette ! - Félix

'Black Lickerish Tasting Crap™ was okay while it lasted...' - The Pope

"Is he still using roadside fennel?" - G&C

"I met The Lord™ once. I was completely unimpressed."
"I met Peter Shaft™ once. I was completely unimpressed."

#25 TheGreenOne

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Posted 04 May 2012 - 12:55 PM

C'est vrai.

shuck and jive is an important skill

 

I cannot play music on an infinite keyboard.


#26 Bognoz

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Posted 04 May 2012 - 01:23 PM

Oy vay.
Pretty animal doesn't trust you,
unless you prepare a great hot chocolate.

#27 solaris54

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Posted 06 May 2012 - 09:08 AM

There's that.
Then there's this.

No fucking around.


Is that George Clooney?
I eat paste.

#28 solaris54

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Posted 06 May 2012 - 09:10 AM

http://laist.com/201...d_in_jail_c.php
Has this ever happened to you?


Yea but it was in a foreign country so I couldn't sue them
I eat paste.

#29 Bognoz

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Posted 06 May 2012 - 10:33 AM

O X(it™)
Pretty animal doesn't trust you,
unless you prepare a great hot chocolate.




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