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#1 Crosby

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Posted 21 August 2009 - 10:57 AM

...™

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C'est ma santé

“Never approach a bull from the front, a horse from the rear or a fool from any direction.”


#2 Crosby

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Posted 22 August 2009 - 04:43 PM

The Pope and Nancy Pelosi are on the same stage in front of a huge crowd.

The Madame Speaker and The Pope, however, have seen it all before.

To make it a little more interesting, Madame Speaker says to the Pope, "Did
you know that with just one little wave of my hand I can make every Democrat
in the crowd go wild?"

He doubts it, so she shows him. Sure enough, the wave elicits rapture and
cheering from every democrat in the crowd. Gradually, the cheering subsides.

The Pope, not wanting to be outdone by such a level of arrogance, considers
what he could do...

"That was impressive, the Pope says, "But did you know that with
just one little wave of MY hand I can make many people in the crowd, and
many around the world, go crazy with joy? This joy will not be a momentary
display like that of your subjects, but will go deep into their hearts, and
they will forever speak of this day and rejoice."

The speaker seriously doubts this, and says so. "One little wave of
your hand and so many people will rejoice forever? Show me."

So the Pope slapped her.
C'est ma santé

“Never approach a bull from the front, a horse from the rear or a fool from any direction.”


#3 greeneyes

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Posted 30 August 2009 - 06:19 PM

Nancy Pelosi...says to the Pope, "Did
you know that with just one little wave of my hand I can make every Democrat
in the crowd go wild?"


Hot.
What else is in the teaches of Peaches?

#4 Crosby

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Posted 31 August 2009 - 10:16 PM

No matter how much you cheat the government in taxes, you'll never get close to being even. Trust me.
(Tim Geithner, Treasury Secretary's proverb)

Good intentions make the most noise.
(Proverb of Obama's Economic Recovery Team)

All good things are either illegal, immoral, or lead to obesity.
(Kennedy family proverb)

Surely you can fool all the people all the time.
(Proverb of the mainstream media)

To err is human, and we use this faculty frequently and with much pleasure.
(Proverb of the US Congress)

All work and no pay makes Jack an exemplary citizen.
(Proverb of Obama's Economic Recovery Team)

If toast falling off the table always lands butter-side down, it is safe to presume that toast buttered on both sides will stop and hover in midair.
(Proverb of Obama's Economic Recovery Team)

All that glitters must be taxed.
(Proverb of the Ways and Means Committee)

Every time the government tries to organize the economy, the only thing that stays organized is crime.
(Proverb of the Chicago Mafia)

The people are not only our most precious recourse, but also a means of enrichment.
(Proverb of the US Congress)

Too many cooks don't pay enough taxes.
(Proverb of the Ways and Means Committee)

Every man has a right to the left.
(ACLU proverb)

Every rake deserves a chance to be stepped on repeatedly.
(Proverb of Obama's Economic Recovery Team)

For a lie to become believable it must be published in The New York Times.
(Proverb of Democrat strategists)

Teach someone how to fish, and you lose a Democrat voter.
(Proverb of the Teachers' Union )

You will be driving your old car for a longer period of time if you don't buy a new one.
(Proverb of Obama's Economic Recovery Team)

No matter how much whiskey you stock up in your desk, you always wind up sending an aide for more.
(Ted Kennedy's proverb)

Attractive women are distractive.
(Bill Clinton's proverb)

Man can stare infinitely and without motion at three things: burning flame, flowing water, and another man working.
(Proverb of the Department of Labor)

No matter how hard you negotiate your labor contract, there will always be an asshole who works even less and gets paid even more.
(Proverb of unionized workforce)

Childproof electrical outlets are there to make sure that only the most gifted children get electrocuted to death.
(Proverb of Occupational Safety and Health Administration (OSHA)

Safety violations may result not only in a person's death, but also in a person's birth.
(Proverb of Planned Parenthood organization)

If a man wants to have a life, medicine is powerless.
(Kennedy family proverb)

If your wife isn't talking to you in the morning, last night's party must have been a success!
(Clinton family proverb)

Why is it that when you converse with God, it's called prayer, but when God converses with you, it's called schizophrenia?
(Rev. Jeremiah Wright's proverb)

A woman wants a lot of different things from one and the same man, while a man wants one and the same thing from a lot of different women.
(Clinton family proverb)

Having a tough day? Try changing your gender.
(Janet Reno's proverb)

Never spend your own money when you can spend the government's. Charity begins with a lawsuit.
(Proverb of community organizers)

Let bygones be hammered into everyone's brain using news media, television, and Hollywood.
(Proverb of Democrat strategists)

Government helps those who refuse to help themselves.
(Proverb of community organizers)

If necessity is the mother of invention, government mandate is the fairy godmother.
(Proverb of carbon emission regulators)

A bad workman blames corporate greed and lack of government oversight.
(Proverb of the Financial Services Committee)

All that glitters must be equally redistributed to each according to his need.
(Proverb of community organizers)

Having naughty children in the back seat can result in an accident; having a naughty accident in the back seat can result in children, followed by a story in The National Enquirer.
(John Edwards' proverb)

Never pick on a Democrat candidate's family; attack something he cares about instead.
(Proverb of Republican strategists)

If you can't lick them, tax them.
(Proverb of the Ways and Means Committee)

He who pays the piper must also cover his health insurance and retirement benefits.
(Proverb of Obama's Economic Recovery Team)

The most beautiful thing about the environment is that you can turn it into an election issue.
(Proverb of Democrat strategists)

Be careful what you legislate; it may do exactly what Rush Limbaugh said it would.
(Proverb of Rush Limbaugh's listeners)

Never argue with a loaded Kennedy.
(Proverb of Republican strategists)

If wishes were horses there's be no need in fossil fuels
(Proverb of oil executives)

Give your opponents one hundred dollars worth of steak, and you shall receive one trillion dollars worth of pork.
(Proverb of the US Congress)

The difference between a kleptomaniac and a Congressman is mostly one of semantics.
(Proverb of the US Congress)

Don't tax you, don't tax me, tax that fellow who didn't vote for you and me.
(Found buried in a federal "stimulus" bill)

All it takes to prove that I am the smartest guy in any room is for the rest of the people in that room to believe me when I say it.
(Joe Biden's proverb)

Multiculturalism is when people of all races, colors, and creeds join hands in a common effort to blame the Jews.
(Proverb of Columbia University professors)
C'est ma santé

“Never approach a bull from the front, a horse from the rear or a fool from any direction.”


#5 jaded prol

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Posted 03 September 2009 - 12:29 PM

And here are some important things to keep in mind when those blood-suckers from the left try to confuse you about health care.

1.) If Stephen Hawking lived in England, he'd be left to die. Thank God he's safe at the University of Cambridge.

2.) If the government was capable of ensuring health care for seniors, they would have done it decades ago.

3.) If we didn't have a free enterprise health care system in America, then we would not be able to achieve all those advances in medicine funded by the National Institutes of Health.

4.) When the people of oppressed countries like Can-ada, Britain, France, Italy, Germany, Sweden, Denmark, Israel, Australia and New Zealand finally get democracy, they can vote out their socialized health care systems.

5.) England's capital is the ultimate proof that national health care kills free enterprise. That's why London has no stock exchange, no banking district, no tabloid newspapers, no big musicals, and no expensive real estate.

6.) Even the World Health Organization agrees that "America has the best health care system in the world"; the WHO ranks the American health care system at the very top part of its list, right after the first part where 36 other countries rank higher.
7.) Free enterprise is the greatest system ever invented and government can't even come close. What else but private industry could have split the atom, or gotten a man on the moon?

8.) If you drove 100 miles on the interstate freeway you still couldn't come up with one good thing that government has done.

9.) I'm writing an urgent letter to my Senator about the health-care issue. I'm explaining how the government never does anything right. I'm sure the Post Office will deliver it in a day or so.

10.) The last thing anyone needs is a government official getting involved with health. I look after my own health. For example, I always make sure I eat at restaurants rated "A" in the window.

11.) I really resent the government thinking I need any assistance from them. I buy my FDA-approved medication on my own.

12.) If health care were available to all at government expense, people would overconsume, using it when they don't really need it. As in the common phrase: "It's Saturday night, honey. Would you rather go to a movie, or shall we have our gallstones removed?"

13.) For some reason, the lunatic left can't understand that the most important thing in health care is consumer choice. When you're in a car accident and you've lost pints and pints of blood, what you really want to do is to sit down, think over what you want to spend and where, and comparison-shop. And if you happen to choose an incompetent surgeon, well, he damn well won't get your business next time, will he?
Drinking for medicinal reasons.

You may say I'm a drinker
but I'm not the only one.

#6 Crosby

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Posted 07 September 2009 - 02:47 PM

...™

Attached Files


C'est ma santé

“Never approach a bull from the front, a horse from the rear or a fool from any direction.”


#7 jaded prol

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Posted 07 September 2009 - 05:19 PM

Ain't it the truth!
Drinking for medicinal reasons.

You may say I'm a drinker
but I'm not the only one.

#8 sixela

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Posted 09 September 2009 - 12:10 PM

It sure ain't the spelling.

I cringe everytime I see it (especially in capital letters). I s'pose it comes with being a Eurofuckylander.

#9 Wild Bill Turkey

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Posted 09 September 2009 - 12:29 PM

Sure, "labor" rhymes with "flour", and "hour", why shouldn't it be spelled the same? And "color" rhymes with "dour". Just because Americans have corrected these obvious spelling mistakes doesn't mean they can't still spell it wrong in Belgium. I think at one point the WS had word filters in place to enforce the British misspellings of those words.
It's all fun and games until someone loses an eye. Then it's just fun.

#10 greeneyes

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Posted 09 September 2009 - 01:45 PM

All that's missing from the labor movement is U.

(I am wearing my pinko commie union organizer volunteer regalia as I type this. Said regalia consists of a shitty, scratchy t-shirt with 4th rate graphic design.)
What else is in the teaches of Peaches?

#11 Absomphe

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Posted 09 September 2009 - 01:51 PM

Sure, "labor" rhymes with "flour", and "hour", why shouldn't it be spelled the same?


Not really, but it does rhyme with sabre, so...
To the bar, for flaming Hills enemas!

#12 GreyBoy2

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Posted 11 September 2009 - 07:35 PM

...
http://www.boingboin...ages/voting.jpg
They're to keep out witches!

#13 Wild Bill Turkey

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Posted 17 September 2009 - 01:49 AM

...

Attached Files


It's all fun and games until someone loses an eye. Then it's just fun.

#14 G&C

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Posted 26 September 2009 - 08:26 AM

California Poll

The latest telephone poll taken by the California Governor's office asked whether people who live in California think illegal immigration is a serious problem:


29% responded, "Yes, it is a serious problem."

71% responded, "No es una problema seriosa."

"It never was about absinthe anyway" - artemis 1/16/2015


#15 Louchelooker

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Posted 26 September 2009 - 09:51 AM

I definitely have to give that a HA! And at the same time I have to cry.
"Yes," said the girl. "Everything tastes of licorice. Especially all the things you've waited so long for, like absinthe." E.H.

#16 G&C

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Posted 30 September 2009 - 08:22 AM

Little Johnny meets Barack Obama

Barack Obama was visiting a primary schooland he visited one of the classes.

They were in the middle of a discussion related to words and their meanings.

The teacher asked the president if he would like to lead the discussion on the word 'tragedy.'

So our illustrious president asked the class for an example of a 'tragedy.'

One little boy stood up and offered: 'If my best friend, who lives on a farm, is playing in the field and a tractor runs over him and kills him, that would be a tragedy.''No,' said Obama, 'that would be an accident.'

A little girl raised her hand: 'If a school bus carrying 50 children drove over a cliff, killing everyone inside, that would be a tragedy. I'm afraid not,' explained Obama. 'That's what we would call great loss.'

The room went silent. No other children volunteered. Obama searched the room. 'Isn't there someone here who can give me an example of a tragedy?'

Finally at the back of the room, Little Johnny raised his hand. In a quiet voice he said: 'If the plane carrying you and Mrs. Obama was struck by a 'friendly fire' missile and blown to smithereens that would be a tragedy.'

'Fantastic!' exclaimed Obama. 'That's right. And can you tell me why that would be a tragedy?'

Well,' says the boy, 'It has to be a tragedy, because it certainly wouldn't be a great loss...and it probably wouldn't be an accident either.'

"It never was about absinthe anyway" - artemis 1/16/2015


#17 G&C

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Posted 09 October 2009 - 08:36 AM

Montana Bear Tragedy This is such a tragedy to see what they have done to our country's wildlife! The photo below captures a disturbing trend that is beginning to affect US wildlife . . . . Animals that were formerly self-sufficient are now showing signs of belonging to the Democrat Party..... as they have apparently learned to just sit and wait for the government to step in and provide for their care and sustenance. This photo is of a Democrat black bear in Montana nicknamed . .. . Bearack Obearma.

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"It never was about absinthe anyway" - artemis 1/16/2015


#18 Crosby

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Posted 09 October 2009 - 11:22 PM

:BL:
C'est ma santé

“Never approach a bull from the front, a horse from the rear or a fool from any direction.”


#19 G&C

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Posted 05 January 2010 - 11:00 AM

My dog sleeps about 20 hours a day. He has his food prepared for him. He can eat whenever he wants, 24/7/365. His meals are provided at no cost to him. He visits the Dr. once a year for his checkup, and again during the year if any medical needs arise. For this he pays nothing, and nothing is required of him. He lives in a nice neighborhood in a house that is much larger than he needs, but he is not required to do any upkeep. If he makes a mess, someone else cleans it up. He has his choice of luxurious places to sleep. He receives these accommodations absolutely free. He is living like a king, and has absolutely no expenses whatsoever. All of his costs are picked up by others who go out and earn a living every day. I was just thinking about all this, and suddenly it hit me like a brick in the head, Holy crap, my dog is a LIBERAL!

"It never was about absinthe anyway" - artemis 1/16/2015


#20 Crosby

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Posted 05 January 2010 - 11:37 AM

...™
C'est ma santé

“Never approach a bull from the front, a horse from the rear or a fool from any direction.”


#21 mattm3

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Posted 19 January 2010 - 07:19 PM

:D

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#22 Porkio

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Posted 19 January 2010 - 08:12 PM

Finally at the back of the room, Little Johnny raised his hand. In a quiet voice he said: 'If the plane carrying you and Mrs. Obama was struck by a 'friendly fire' missile and blown to smithereens that would be a tragedy.'

'Fantastic!' exclaimed Obama. 'That's right. And can you tell me why that would be a tragedy?'

Well,' says the boy, 'It has to be a tragedy, because it certainly wouldn't be a great loss...and it probably wouldn't be an accident either.'


I bet you'd laugh just as hard if the President made a joke about killing you and your family, right? No great loss, probably not an accident. Just plain old knee slapping chuckles from here to the graveyard, right? (I hope it's clear I'm playing Devil's advocate here, you're a generous guy and it would be a loss to the art of absinthe if you were killed... But I'm pretty tired of hearing people joking about the president getting killed, because it isn't even remotely funny.)

#23 Porkio

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Posted 19 January 2010 - 08:13 PM

:D


It's too bad it's not OK to say Nigger anymore, isn't it?

#24 Porkio

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Posted 19 January 2010 - 08:16 PM

My dog sleeps about 20 hours a day. He has his food prepared for him. He can eat whenever he wants, 24/7/365. His meals are provided at no cost to him. He visits the Dr. once a year for his checkup, and again during the year if any medical needs arise. For this he pays nothing, and nothing is required of him. He lives in a nice neighborhood in a house that is much larger than he needs, but he is not required to do any upkeep. If he makes a mess, someone else cleans it up. He has his choice of luxurious places to sleep. He receives these accommodations absolutely free. He is living like a king, and has absolutely no expenses whatsoever. All of his costs are picked up by others who go out and earn a living every day. I was just thinking about all this, and suddenly it hit me like a brick in the head, Holy crap, my dog is a LIBERAL!

Sounds like that Liberal has you trained really well.

#25 Louched Liver

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Posted 19 January 2010 - 09:00 PM

Porky sez- It's too bad it's not OK to say Nigger anymore, isn't it? We've both been down South. It can be expected.

Edited by Louched Liver, 19 January 2010 - 09:00 PM.

ENORMUS DICK

#26 Porkio

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Posted 19 January 2010 - 09:10 PM

Yeah. I was in a Waffle House in Northern Georgia in '99 and sat behind two guys wearing KKK t-shirts. They probably were the guys Crosby's avatar was talking about.

#27 Crosby

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Posted 20 January 2010 - 12:31 AM

My Jockey!
C'est ma santé

“Never approach a bull from the front, a horse from the rear or a fool from any direction.”


#28 Crosby

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Posted 20 January 2010 - 12:34 AM

But I'm pretty tired of hearing people joking about the president getting killed, because it isn't even remotely funny.)

True dat.

There I go again with my lack of empathy for other peoples views.
C'est ma santé

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#29 mattm3

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Posted 20 January 2010 - 04:34 AM

:D


It's too bad it's not OK to say Nigger anymore, isn't it?


Just go sit in a corner and cry... Why do all you liberals call evereyone racist and Nazi's when they have a disenting opinion? If you really knew me , you would know that I'm not. But In your sad little world it just doesn't make any difference...
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#30 mattm3

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Posted 20 January 2010 - 04:58 AM

I didn't hear you yell at Harry Reid when he called Obama the "N" word either... But I see a pattern, if someone disagrees with Obama they are a racist. But if a Democrat or a liberal and say legitamitly racist comments they are just excused and brushed under the carpet...

Edited by mattm3, 20 January 2010 - 04:58 AM.

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#31 Porkio

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Posted 20 January 2010 - 05:03 AM

I have no idea whether you look down on black people or not, but between the black "Bearack Obearma" and the "lyin african", I don't think either of those were saying that being black and african are good things. Maybe I've just encountered a lot of assholes on Long Island lately, but my father-in-law was telling me the other day that too many modern basketball players behave like "niggers", and was talking about how somebody should kill the president, and he actually showed me the "lyin' african" picture and had a good laugh at it. And then my aunt's boyfriend is always bitching about how blacks are like "animals" and was also joking about killing the president, so perhaps you can understand if I'm a little sensitive about it. I hope you'll also consider that it's not a bad thing to be sensitive about.

But yeah, go ahead and call me a Liberal crybaby, as if that had anything to do with what I was talking about. Because, you know, repeating "Liberals suck" over and over is really meaningful. The word Liberal for a lot of you guys is just another emoticon.

#32 Porkio

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Posted 20 January 2010 - 05:28 AM

I didn't hear you yell at Harry Reid when he called Obama the "N" word either... But I see a pattern, if someone disagrees with Obama they are a racist. But if a Democrat or a liberal and say legitamitly racist comments they are just excused and brushed under the carpet...


Negro is not "Nigger", genius (I'm both amazed and not surprised at all that I have to explain that to you). The use of that word makes people sound old and out of touch more than anything, but feel free to ask the next black person you see if they think what Harry Reid said was the same thing as calling somebody Nigger.

#33 G&C

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Posted 20 January 2010 - 06:30 AM

Get over it.

"It never was about absinthe anyway" - artemis 1/16/2015


#34 Kirk

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Posted 20 January 2010 - 06:49 AM

There are more troops over seas than there were when he took office, so he lied about that.
Obama told us we would have 5 days to review any bill he passes, promised transparency, he lied about that.
The health care bill is dead and yet it's still so complex that it has to be discussed behind closed doors,
I'm surprised anyone has an opinion on it, it's top secret, too important for us to hear what's going on in that room.
I like Obama better than McCain, I'm glad he won. But I can't be happy knowing what I know, I can never be happy about what he or anyone else in our corrupt, bloated government is doing, how can you?
If Obama did what I would do they would have impeached him already, I have no good advice for this government except scrap it, fire them all, start over with strict term limits or forced inscription.
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#35 Porkio

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Posted 20 January 2010 - 07:15 AM

There are more troops over seas than there were when he took office, so he lied about that.

When did he say he would reduce the overall number of troops overseas within the first year of his Presidency? And even if he did, he's allowed to change his mind (I'm glad he did after listening to the military experts most qualified to determine what might work in Afghanistan). Changing one's mind based on what they have learned is not the same thing as lying.

Obama told us we would have 5 days to review any bill he passes, promised transparency, he lied about that.

http://www.whitehous...ing-legislation
Every bill he has signed has been up there for at least 5 days before he signed it. You can also review legislation that he has signed so far, so you're wrong on that one.

The health care bill is dead and yet it's still so complex that it has to be discussed behind closed doors,

The press has a regrettable tendency to turn literally every sentence uttered by Obama or any other politician into a high stakes wrestling match, so I don't blame them for keeping the doors closed until they agree on things. The entire rest of everything about the bill is on every TV channel and every newspaper pretty much incessantly. Both the House and Senate versions are also both easily accessible online. Whatever they are still working out is being worked out, so it doesn't make sense to just put it all out there before anything is even agreed upon, but the Press is regularly updated about the status of ongoing negotiations and many of the details of them anyway. I'm honestly surprised at how transparent they're being given what we were used to from the last 8 years.

The problem as I see it has little to do with the President. I think he's doing a remarkable job with the pile of shit he was handed. But I'm actually fine with blaming the Democrats and Republicans in the House and Senate for a lot of the problems. The Democrats are so clueless that they're acting as if we have a parliamentary system, and that everybody's 2 cents should be included in all the legislation, thus meaning nothing of import will ever get done, and meaning that there is not much unity in the party. Meanwhile the Republicans are completely united in being obstructionist naysayers, thus easily getting in the way of larger congressional agendas. The Republicans are honestly much better at playing this fucked up game than Democrats, and that's a big reason why the Presidents efforts will be frustrated.

#36 Kirk

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Posted 20 January 2010 - 07:42 AM

He's allowed to change his mind? I know campaign promises mean xit but that was a big part of his platform, withdrawing from Iraq. And you are right, these important negotiations need to take place in private, we the people are too foolish to be allowed to see the deal.
I guess I can't fault him for putting Geitner in charge of the paper money, Geitner being a bankruptcy specialist and all.
Brace yourself for record inflation, it's always been built into the system as a way for the people in power to harvest wealth but what you are looking at now has never happened on this scale.
I honestly would not be surprised if it took a wheel barrel full of 100$ notes to buy a bottle of absinthe in 2012.
I'm going to go out on a limb here and bet anyone that's interested a bottle of absinthe that silver will hit 50$ an ounce by then. Just a couple years ago when I started making spoons silver was 7$ an ounce and had been steady since the 1970's. Gold was around 400$ and reasonably steady. Now silver is 20 and gold is 1000, more or less and rising fast. Inflation has cut your paycheck in half and most people have not realized it yet. Gas has doubled, drywall, building block, bread milk, postage, people talk about inflation like it's something in the future to fear, but it's not, it's now.
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#37 G&C

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Posted 20 January 2010 - 07:57 AM

What I am finding very humorous this morning is Porkio has seemingly pegged me a conservative whilst my father keeps pegging me a liberal. What am I? Just another asshole on the drunktards forum. WTF? It took you 3.5 months to reply to the joke I posted. Truly Porkio, any all of us could die right now and it would be "no great loss". For the record, I consider myself to be non denominational.

"It never was about absinthe anyway" - artemis 1/16/2015


#38 Porkio

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Posted 20 January 2010 - 08:13 AM

You're no more easily pigeon-holed than I am. I usually don't have much time, so that's why it took 3.5 months to reply to the joke. I don't even know what Liberal and Conservative are anymore, and I think that's probably a good thing.

#39 Absinthe_1900

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Posted 20 January 2010 - 08:51 AM

Piss on all of them.

Attached Files


Edited by Absinthe_1900, 20 January 2010 - 08:51 AM.

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#40 G&C

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Posted 20 January 2010 - 08:54 AM

That's pretty much my stance.

I hate all politicians equally.
They all suck and they will all lie to get the office they are after.

I'm ready for a drink.

"It never was about absinthe anyway" - artemis 1/16/2015


#41 mattm3

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Posted 20 January 2010 - 05:06 PM

Liberals suck!

Wow! That's the smartest thing I've heard you say!!!
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#42 mattm3

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Posted 20 January 2010 - 05:16 PM

I didn't hear you yell at Harry Reid when he called Obama the "N" word either... But I see a pattern, if someone disagrees with Obama they are a racist. But if a Democrat or a liberal and say legitamitly racist comments they are just excused and brushed under the carpet...

Negro is not "Nigger", The use of that word makes people sound like when Harry Reid was calling somebody Nigger.


The cartoon said African, isn't African American the new pc term? U were the one who brought up that word, not us...
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#43 mattm3

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Posted 20 January 2010 - 05:24 PM

That's pretty much my stance.

I hate all politicians equally.
They all suck and they will all lie to get the office they are after.

I'm ready for a drink.


I'm in agreement. People get way to riled up about this stuff...
I need my Demons to combat my Ghosts so that I can forget the Skeletons...

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#44 LaLaLair

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Posted 20 January 2010 - 07:34 PM

non denominational. thats a religious term isn't it? Gawd I need another drink. OH and I also need some communistic health care. Guess I will just settle for a drink
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#45 Porkio

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Posted 20 January 2010 - 09:15 PM

OH and I also need some communistic health care. G


You mean the kind where the government confiscates your farm and in return gives you some band-aids? I'd rather have socialist health care, which is depending on who you ask, either Medicare, a requirement to buy health insurance like you are required to buy car insurance, or a nationalized health system.

#46 Crosby

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Posted 21 January 2010 - 05:03 AM

You can always sell your car if you don't want to buy insurance.

Forcing people to buy something is beyond the scope of what the constitution allows. The lawyers are going to make a killing off of this bill.
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#47 jaded prol

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Posted 21 January 2010 - 06:52 AM

The mandated purchase of insurance and the taxing of so-called "cadillac plans" make this bill untenable. Without those two things it is least a start. Putting back the option of buying into Medicare or lowering the age limit to 55 would help as well.
Even with the Massachusetts seat gone Republican, The Dims have a greater majority than the Repugs ever had when they gutted Wall Street regulation, shredded the Constitution with the "Patriot Act" or got a Congressional nod on invading Iraq but of course they are powerless. The shame of it is that repugs are politically stronger because they are united around their (odious) principles and the Dims are weakened because they are a bunch of opportunists. The repugs know how to play that opportunism and the Dims can be depended on to dance to that tune. At the top, they all work for the same private interests which is why Obama won't really fight for what his industry handlers oppose.
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#48 Porkio

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Posted 21 January 2010 - 06:57 AM

You can always sell your car if you don't want to buy insurance.


Not if you need your car to get to work. As for your health, you need that to do almost everything, so making that optional as it is right now has a lot of broad negative consequences which is the whole reason people are attempting to pass a health bill. Unless you think it's OK for people to lose all that they've worked for because they got sick.

I don't think making people buy health insurance and helping those who can't afford it pay for it is that good of an idea. But sticking with the way things are now is an even worse idea, and we both know that if it's the Congress & Senate making the call, our options are usually to choose between a bad idea and a worse idea.

#49 Porkio

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Posted 21 January 2010 - 07:10 AM

At the top, they all work for the same private interests which is why Obama won't really fight for what his industry handlers oppose.


The problem is that you universally perceive private interests as negative and if anybody in the administration ever worked for a company that is currently being regulated, then the dumb lefty blogs play the "guilt-by-association" card, which is every bit as bullshit of a tactic as when the right did it to Obama with Jeremiah Wright. The lady who wrote the Baucus plan is extremely well qualified to be involved in health legislation. She got her PhD in public health from Johns Hopkins and also oversaw Medicare prior to working for Wellpoint. She probably knows more about how policy affects health care than literally anyone in the Senate, and her viewpoint should definitely influence legislation, at least if we want to be smart about it. But yeah, that's somehow the industry pulling the strings on Puppet Obama.

So the end result will be the lefty blogs saying Obama is like Bush because a senator hired a person who used to work in the health industry, and the Rethuglicans will say any attempt at health reform "is not what America wants" and health care reform is "socialist", neither of which is remotely true, and our dumb media will just repeat everything said by both sides rather than showing how both sides are wrong, and that incredibly dumb dumb stupid approach will be why nothing significant will be accomplished. Stupid. Dumb. Stupid.

#50 jaded prol

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Posted 21 January 2010 - 07:50 AM

No, it's called conflict of interests. It is also worth reflecting that while Wellpoint and Aetna get private hearings and the ability to write legislation, physician organizations demanding more are locked out from the beginning.
It's worth noting that there is a consistent pattern of prioritizing well connected insiders (meaning Big industry reps) on other issues like Finance while excluding qualified people those industries disapprove of. This is business as usual you can believe in.
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#51 mattm3

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Posted 21 January 2010 - 04:50 PM

:D

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#52 Crosby

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Posted 22 January 2010 - 12:34 AM

You can always sell your car if you don't want to buy insurance.


Not if you need your car to get to work. As for your health, you need that to do almost everything, so making that optional as it is right now has a lot of broad negative consequences which is the whole reason people are attempting to pass a health bill. Unless you think it's OK for people to lose all that they've worked for because they got sick.

I don't think making people buy health insurance and helping those who can't afford it pay for it is that good of an idea. But sticking with the way things are now is an even worse idea, and we both know that if it's the Congress & Senate making the call, our options are usually to choose between a bad idea and a worse idea.

You have to be a complete idiot to not understand why you need health insurance. Even when I was broke and trying to start a business, I had Kaiser. The problem is that a lot of the people who "can't afford to pay for it", would rather pay for other things, not food and shelter related.
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#53 G&C

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Posted 22 January 2010 - 12:53 AM

Alcohol?

"It never was about absinthe anyway" - artemis 1/16/2015


#54 Kirk

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Posted 22 January 2010 - 05:57 AM

Cable?
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#55 TheGreenOne

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Posted 22 January 2010 - 11:53 AM

PETA's State of the Union Undress
http://www.peta.org/...?c=weekly_enews

shuck and jive is an important skill

 

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#56 Porkio

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Posted 04 February 2010 - 01:14 PM

Here is one of many reasons why I love San Francisco:
http://laughingsquid...baptist-church/

#57 jaded prol

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Posted 05 February 2010 - 06:47 AM

That's my kind of action -- street theater of the absurd.
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#58 G&C

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Posted 05 February 2010 - 07:12 AM

What we have here is a fire sprinkler test at Ellsworth AFB in South Dakota.

Forget it.
The crap won't upload.

Edited by G&C, 05 February 2010 - 07:14 AM.

"It never was about absinthe anyway" - artemis 1/16/2015


#59 Bognoz

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Posted 05 February 2010 - 12:40 PM

Dear Mr. Gorbachev
Pretty animal doesn't trust you,
unless you prepare a great hot chocolate.

#60 G&C

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Posted 28 February 2010 - 01:52 PM

The current financial crisis is forcing our Country to make some tough fiscal decisions.

If this recession continues much longer, unless we pass a massive sales or property tax increase, then Cal-Trans & other agencies will have no other option but to lay off Jose.

Attached Files


"It never was about absinthe anyway" - artemis 1/16/2015


#61 G&C

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Posted 16 March 2010 - 10:24 PM

Pomp & circumstance.


Edited by G&C, 16 March 2010 - 10:27 PM.

"It never was about absinthe anyway" - artemis 1/16/2015


#62 G&C

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Posted 17 March 2010 - 09:49 AM

...

Attached Files


"It never was about absinthe anyway" - artemis 1/16/2015


#63 absinthist

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Posted 17 March 2010 - 11:33 AM

Yer neighbourhood? Ha!
"therefore the injury that is to be done to a man ought to be of such a kind that one does not stand in fear of revenge"

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#64 Louchelooker

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Posted 25 March 2010 - 12:24 PM

As far as that pomp and circumstance stuff goes, I'll take this anyday.


"Yes," said the girl. "Everything tastes of licorice. Especially all the things you've waited so long for, like absinthe." E.H.

#65 Louchelooker

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Posted 25 March 2010 - 12:28 PM

The silent drill platoon, not the band. Although they are excellent in their own right.
"Yes," said the girl. "Everything tastes of licorice. Especially all the things you've waited so long for, like absinthe." E.H.

#66 Crosby

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Posted 26 March 2010 - 04:00 PM

Over five thousand years ago Moses said to the children of Israel, "Pick up your shovel, mount your asses and camels, and I will lead you to the Promised Land."

Nearly 75 years ago, Franklin Roosevelt said, "Lay down your shovels, sit on your asses, and light up a Camel, this is the Promised Land."

Now Obama has stolen your shovel, taxed your asses, raised the price of Camels, and mortgaged the Promised Land!

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I got a freakin' call center in Pakistan. I told them I was suicidal.

Then they got excited and asked if I knew how to drive a truck...
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#67 G&C

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Posted 26 March 2010 - 04:06 PM

Did you tell them it would need to have an automatic transmission?

"It never was about absinthe anyway" - artemis 1/16/2015


#68 Stroller

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Posted 28 March 2010 - 05:49 PM

Posted Image
"Life is tough; it's tougher when you're stupid."

#69 Crosby

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Posted 04 April 2010 - 12:08 AM

A Glimpse Into the Future... Obama's LAST Day in Office

The date: January 20, 2019*, Chairman Obama's last full day in office. Here is his top secret schedule from that day:

Barack Hussein Obama's Final Full Day Schedule
7:00 AM Golf with Tiger Woods
8:00 AM Chaplain reads daily verse from the Quran
9:00 AM Obama signs bill raising debt limit to 80 trillion dollars; blames Bush tax cuts and economic policies for "legacy of debt"
10:00 AM Scheduled interview with CBS News anchor Janeane Gawdawfulo
11:00 AM Morning ration of electricity ends; country goes dark for an hour... or four
12:00 PM GM declares bankruptcy for eighth time; Obama signs bill making it part of Post Office
1:00 PM Obama meets with new President and Vice President, Eric Holder and Van Jones**
2:00 PM Obama commemorates trial of Khalid Sheik Mohammed, now in its 10th year
3:00 PM Obama signs bill raising debt limit to 90 trillion dollars
4:00 PM Obama threatens to impose sanctions on Iran for failing to cap its nuclear weapons production at 7,000
5:00 PM Obama signs pact giving Chinese right to drill for oil off California coast; all US coal and petroleum rights now owned by foreign nations; US entirely wind-driven***
6:00 PM Obama signs bill raising national debt limit automatically every 15 minutes
7:00 PM Another flight mysteriously drops from sky over US territory. Al Qaeda claims credit. Obama notes contemptuously that well over half still land successfully.
8:00 PM Michelle returns from last shopping trip as first lady; buys sneakers made out of $30000 handbag
9:00 PM Obama signs bill making NY Times and CNN part of Post Office. PO now "employs" 70 million people. Obama claims credit for holding unemployment caused by Bush depression to under 30%.
10:00 PM Obama, in final national speech on Letterman, declares era of Changling Hopeyness a success. David Brooks agrees.
11:00 PM Evening ration of electricity ends; country does dark for the night. Terrorist attack with flashlights. Obama cites failure of Bush Administration terrorism and energy policies.
12:00 AM Nobel Committee selects Barack Obama as Peace Prize winner for 10th straight year.

~ Notes:
* On 7/19/08, Obama said on Face the Nation he expected to be president for 8 to 10 years. I guess he settled on 10.

** In 2016, the inefficient and useless national election gave way to the glorious progressive tradition of a leader picking his own successor. It's the Chicago Way!

*** Wind is a myth; Congress blows.
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#70 sixela

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Posted 06 April 2010 - 12:26 PM

Barack Hussein Obama's


Getting a bit old, no?

And I'm not talking about you.

#71 Crosby

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Posted 06 April 2010 - 01:20 PM

It's his name. I don't notice it anymore than Richard Milhous Nixon.
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#72 Stroller

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Posted 06 April 2010 - 02:26 PM

They teach his full name in elementary school.


Mm, mmm, mm!
Barack Hussein Obama

He said that all must lend a hand
To make this country strong again
Mmm, mmm, mm!
Barack Hussein Obama

He said we must be fair today
Equal work means equal pay
Mmm, mmm, mm!
Barack Hussein Obama

He said that we must take a stand
To make sure everyone gets a chance
Mmm, mmm, mm!
Barack Hussein Obama

He said red, yellow, black or white
All are equal in his sight
Mmm, mmm, mm!
Barack Hussein Obama

Yes!
Mmm, mmm, mm
Barack Hussein Obama
"Life is tough; it's tougher when you're stupid."

#73 Crosby

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Posted 06 April 2010 - 05:37 PM

The video of those kids singing sent chills down my spine. It also made my skin crawl.
C'est ma santé

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#74 G&C

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Posted 06 April 2010 - 06:43 PM

The Obama Youth!

"It never was about absinthe anyway" - artemis 1/16/2015


#75 Stroller

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Posted 06 April 2010 - 07:37 PM

Your tax dollars at work.
"Life is tough; it's tougher when you're stupid."

#76 G&C

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Posted 06 April 2010 - 07:44 PM

Not mine!
Mine are buying an illegal war started by the previous 'tater.

"It never was about absinthe anyway" - artemis 1/16/2015


#77 Crosby

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Posted 06 April 2010 - 09:42 PM

...™

Attached Files


C'est ma santé

“Never approach a bull from the front, a horse from the rear or a fool from any direction.”


#78 Bognoz

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Posted 06 April 2010 - 11:11 PM

Looks half-baked.
Pretty animal doesn't trust you,
unless you prepare a great hot chocolate.

#79 Stroller

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Posted 07 April 2010 - 07:38 AM

Posted Image
"Life is tough; it's tougher when you're stupid."

#80 G&C

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Posted 07 April 2010 - 08:14 AM

But is he sellin' the pups?

"It never was about absinthe anyway" - artemis 1/16/2015


#81 sixela

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Posted 07 April 2010 - 02:17 PM

It's his name.

Of course. And I'm sure I can find tons of reference to George Walker Bush in the archives of this forum, right?

You're evading the point and you darn well know you are. People aren't writing his full name just to refer to him.

Edited by sixela, 07 April 2010 - 02:21 PM.


#82 Stroller

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Posted 07 April 2010 - 02:47 PM

AKA - Dubya!
"Life is tough; it's tougher when you're stupid."

#83 G&C

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Posted 07 April 2010 - 03:08 PM

Herbert Walker was my fave.

"It never was about absinthe anyway" - artemis 1/16/2015


#84 sixela

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Posted 07 April 2010 - 03:19 PM

AKA - Dubya!


I'd have little problem with Barack "Aitche" Obama ;).

But that's not wha's usually written, now, is it?

#85 Crosby

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Posted 07 April 2010 - 09:45 PM

You're evading the point and you darn well know you are. People aren't writing his full name just to refer to him.

Poppycock! I'm getting real sick of being branded a racist every time I disagree with a black man.
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#86 Crosby

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Posted 07 April 2010 - 09:49 PM

I guess I must be homophobic too, onacuz I don’t want to suck a dick.
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#87 Stroller

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Posted 08 April 2010 - 06:19 AM

Poppycock! I'm getting real sick of being branded a racist every time I disagree with a black man.


Shut it Cracker!
"Life is tough; it's tougher when you're stupid."

#88 sixela

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Posted 08 April 2010 - 12:20 PM

Poppycock! I'm getting real sick of being branded a racist every time I disagree with a black man.


Straw man: I didn't brand you a racist, and I don't think you are even the author of that sad excuse for a joke (and the reference to Barack "Hussein" Obama).

If I wanted to brand you anything, I'd pick "crotchety and grumpy", not "racist".

Edited by sixela, 08 April 2010 - 12:22 PM.


#89 Stroller

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Posted 08 April 2010 - 06:44 PM

Posted Image
"Life is tough; it's tougher when you're stupid."

#90 gasspectro

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Posted 08 April 2010 - 07:06 PM

Don't blame me. I voted for the other guy.
Say something clever and memorable, or say something outrageous. And unfortunately, it's a lot easier to be outrageous than clever and memorable

#91 Grim

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Posted 09 April 2010 - 12:42 AM

I don’t want to suck a dick.

Attached Files


It was always the becoming he dreamed of, never the being...

#92 absinthist

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Posted 09 April 2010 - 02:52 AM

...™

Attached Files


"therefore the injury that is to be done to a man ought to be of such a kind that one does not stand in fear of revenge"

"Men’s hatreds generally spring from fear or envy"


N. Machiavelli

#93 Crosby

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Posted 14 April 2010 - 11:52 PM

...™

Attached Files


C'est ma santé

“Never approach a bull from the front, a horse from the rear or a fool from any direction.”


#94 sixela

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Posted 19 April 2010 - 02:31 PM

You could make a killing with these in France as well.

#95 Stroller

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Posted 30 April 2010 - 07:47 PM

It's good to be the King...-
"Life is tough; it's tougher when you're stupid."

#96 G&C

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Posted 02 May 2010 - 07:32 PM

An old country preacher......had a teenage son, and it was getting time the boy should give some thought to choosing a profession. Like many young Men his age, the boy didn't really know what he wanted to do, and he didn't seem too concerned about it. One day, while the boy was away at school, his father decided to try an experiment. He went into the boy's room and placed on his study table four objects.

1. A Bible.....?

2. A silver dollar.....?

3. A bottle of whisky.....?

4. And a Playboy magazine.....?

'I'll just hide behind the door,' the old preacher said to himself. 'When he comes home from school today, I'll see which object he picks up.

If it's the Bible, he's going to be a preacher like me, and what a blessing that would be!

If he picks up the dollar, he's going to be a business man, and that would be okay, too.

But if he picks up the bottle, he's going to be a no-good drunken bum, and Lord, what a shame that would be.

And worst of all if he picks up that magazine he's going to be a skirt-chasing womanizer.'

The old man waited anxiously, and soon heard his son's foot-steps as he entered the house whistling and headed for his room..

The boy tossed his books on the bed, and as he turned to leave the room he spotted the objects on the table..

With curiosity in his eye, he walked over to inspect them. Finally, he picked up the Bible and placed it under his arm. He picked up the silver dollar and dropped into his pocket. He uncorked the bottle and took a big drink, while he admired this month's centerfold.

'Lord have mercy,' the old preacher disgustedly whispered.

'He's gonna run for Congress.'

"It never was about absinthe anyway" - artemis 1/16/2015


#97 sixela

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Posted 09 May 2010 - 04:20 AM

It's good to be the King...-


While it’s still too early to tell if this turns into a Pulitzer moment for the best-selling supermarket tabloid

I guess it's too early to tell whether pigs will eventually learn to fly, too.

#98 G&C

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Posted 12 May 2010 - 03:19 PM

One day a florist went to a barber for a haircut.

After the cut, he asked about his bill, and the barber replied, 'I cannot accept money from you , I'm doing community service this week.' The florist was pleased and left the shop.

When the barber went to open his shop the next morning, there was a 'thank you' card and a dozen roses waiting for him at his door.

Later, a cop comes in for a haircut, and when he tries to pay his bill, the barber again replied, 'I cannot accept money from you , I'm doing community service this week.' The cop was happy and left the shop.

The next morning when the barber went to open up, there was a 'thank you' card and a dozen donuts waiting for him at his door.

Then a Congressman came in for a haircut, and when he went to pay his bill, the barber again replied, 'I cannot accept money from you. I'm doing community service this week.' The Congressman was very happy and left the shop.

The next morning, when the barber went to open up, there were a dozen Congressmen lined up waiting for a free haircut.

And that, my friends, illustrates the fundamental difference between the citizens of our country and the politicians who run it.


BOTH POLITICIANS AND DIAPERS NEED TO BE CHANGED OFTEN AND FOR THE SAME REASON

"It never was about absinthe anyway" - artemis 1/16/2015


#99 Crosby

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Posted 19 May 2010 - 10:56 PM

I’m sure not one progressive liberal will find this funny. Oh well…

http://www.youtube.c...ture=popt17us00
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#100 Kirk

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Posted 20 May 2010 - 05:12 AM

Hah!
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#101 Bognoz

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Posted 20 May 2010 - 05:31 AM

Some of my best friends
have been illegal immigrants
and Amerikan citizens, too.
Pretty animal doesn't trust you,
unless you prepare a great hot chocolate.

#102 Crosby

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Posted 31 January 2011 - 11:54 PM

How it shoulda gone:

http://www.liveleak....=488_1294385814
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#103 G&C

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Posted 03 February 2011 - 02:45 PM

It is a slow day in the small Saskatchewan town of Pumphandle and the streets are deserted.

Times are tough; everybody is in debt and living on credit.

A tourist visiting the area drives through town, stops at the motel, and lays a $100 bill on the desk saying he wants to inspect the rooms upstairs to pick one for the night.

As soon as he walks upstairs, the motel owner grabs the bill and runs next door to pay his debt to the butcher.

The butcher takes the $100 and runs down the street to retire his debt to the pig farmer.

The pig farmer takes the $100 and heads off to pay his bill to his supplier, the Co-op.

The guy at the Co-op takes the $100 and runs to pay his debt to the local prostitute, who has also been facing hard times and has had to offer her "services" on credit.

The hooker rushes to the hotel and pays off her room bill with the hotel owner.

The hotel proprietor then places the $100 back on the counter so the traveler will not suspect anything.

At that moment the traveler comes down the stairs, states that the rooms are not satisfactory, picks up the $100 bill and leaves.

No one produced anything.

No one earned anything.

However, the whole town is now out of debt and looks to the future with a lot more optimism.

And that, ladies and gentlemen, is how a "stimulus package" works.

"It never was about absinthe anyway" - artemis 1/16/2015


#104 Kirk

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Posted 06 February 2011 - 04:45 PM

Can I borrow a hun?
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#105 G&C

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Posted 06 February 2011 - 07:54 PM

If I had it.

But a care package will be on the way tomorrow.

"It never was about absinthe anyway" - artemis 1/16/2015


#106 Kirk

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Posted 07 February 2011 - 01:56 PM

Stimulating!
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#107 Crosby

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Posted 11 February 2011 - 11:08 PM

HERE'S HOW JOHN CLEESE SEES IT.


The English are feeling the pinch in relation to recent terrorist
threats and have therefore raised their security level from "Miffed" to"Peeved."
Soon, though, security levels may be raised yet again to "Irritated"
or even"A Bit Cross." The English have not been "A Bit Cross" since
the blitz in 1940 when tea supplies nearly ran out. Terrorists have
been re-categorized from "Tiresome" to "A Bloody Nuisance."

The last time the British issued a "Bloody Nuisance" warning level was
in 1588, when threatened by the Spanish Armada.
The Scots have raised their threat level from "Pissed Off" to "Let's
get the Bastards."They don't have any other levels. This is the reason
they have been used on the front line of the British army for the last
300 years.

The French government announced yesterday that it has raised its
terror alert level from "Run" to "Hide." The only two higher levels in
France are "Collaborate" and "Surrender." The rise was precipitated by
a recent fire that destroyed France 's white flag factory, effectively
paralyzing the country's military capability.

Italy has increased the alert level from "Shout Loudly and Excitedly"
to "Elaborate Military Posturing." Two more levels remain:
"Ineffective Combat Operations" and "Change Sides."

The Germans have increased their alert state from "Disdainful Arrogance"
to "Dress in Uniform and Sing Marching Songs." They also have two
higher levels: "Invade a Neighbor" and "Lose."

Belgians, on the other hand, are all on holiday as usual; the only
threat they are worried about is NATO pulling out of Brussels .

The Spanish are all excited to see their new submarines ready to deploy.
These beautifully designed subs have glass bottoms so the new Spanish
navy can get a really good look at the old Spanish navy.

Australia , meanwhile, has raised its security level from "No worries"
to "She'll be alright, Mate." Two more escalation levels remain:
"Crikey! I think we'll need to cancel the barbie this weekend!" and
"The barbie is canceled." So far no situation has ever warranted use
of the final escalation level.

-- John Cleese - British writer, actor and tall person
C'est ma santé

“Never approach a bull from the front, a horse from the rear or a fool from any direction.”


#108 G&C

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Posted 11 February 2011 - 11:10 PM

That about sums it up.

"It never was about absinthe anyway" - artemis 1/16/2015


#109 Crosby

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Posted 04 May 2011 - 11:27 AM

A man walks into a bar and says, "Hey, give me a Bin Laden." the bartender says , " What's that?" the man answers, "Two shots and a splash of water!!"
C'est ma santé

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#110 jaded prol

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Posted 04 May 2011 - 11:37 AM

That's the best event "cocktail" yet!
Drinking for medicinal reasons.

You may say I'm a drinker
but I'm not the only one.

#111 Crosby

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Posted 06 May 2011 - 03:27 PM

...™

Attached Files


C'est ma santé

“Never approach a bull from the front, a horse from the rear or a fool from any direction.”


#112 G&C

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Posted 06 May 2011 - 04:27 PM

At all times...

"It never was about absinthe anyway" - artemis 1/16/2015


#113 Kirk

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Posted 06 May 2011 - 05:04 PM

I don't think it woulda helped his sorry ass.
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#114 G&C

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Posted 06 May 2011 - 05:51 PM

I don't either, however as a Boy Scout I learned to always be and in the Corps, must be.

"It never was about absinthe anyway" - artemis 1/16/2015


#115 Kirk

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Posted 06 May 2011 - 06:54 PM

I used to have enough guns to fight off a small army, M1's, M 16's, Savage 303, hand guns up the yin yang, black powder, loading equipment, sizers, tumblers, extractors, engraving equipment, every tool and damn near every gun known to man, you name it, I had it, lost most of it when my house burnt to the ground.
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#116 G&C

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Posted 06 May 2011 - 07:40 PM

All of mine were lost in a tragic boating accident in the Tacoma narrows.

"It never was about absinthe anyway" - artemis 1/16/2015


#117 Kirk

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Posted 07 May 2011 - 05:23 AM

Couldn't call a diver?
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#118 G&C

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Posted 07 May 2011 - 05:36 AM

Too deep, too swift.

http://exhibits.pacs.../PSGeology.html

"It never was about absinthe anyway" - artemis 1/16/2015


#119 Crosby

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Posted 14 May 2011 - 11:07 PM

...™

Attached Files


C'est ma santé

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#120 Absinthe_1900

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Posted 15 May 2011 - 02:58 AM

Buckle Up
Remember, an armed TXLF is a polite TXLF

#121 Kirk

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Posted 20 May 2011 - 10:14 AM

So, I forget, is the weather tomorrow supposed to be earthquake, plague famine flood, or flood famine earthquake plague?
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#122 Louched Liver

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Posted 20 May 2011 - 10:18 AM

Death by orgasm.
ENORMUS DICK

#123 absinthist

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Posted 20 May 2011 - 10:46 AM

You wish, traitor of alcohol.

I will be watchin' if there is Doomsday in the US or not™.
"therefore the injury that is to be done to a man ought to be of such a kind that one does not stand in fear of revenge"

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#124 Louched Liver

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Posted 20 May 2011 - 11:09 AM

Traitor of alcohol!
Luvit!
ENORMUS DICK

#125 Louched Liver

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Posted 20 May 2011 - 11:09 AM

Actually, more like Trader of Alcohol.
For better things.
ENORMUS DICK

#126 absinthist

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Posted 20 May 2011 - 11:22 AM

As long as NO profiteering ™ is involved, ya've gotta my my support. My
"therefore the injury that is to be done to a man ought to be of such a kind that one does not stand in fear of revenge"

"Men’s hatreds generally spring from fear or envy"


N. Machiavelli

#127 Bognoz

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Posted 20 May 2011 - 11:36 AM

Pollind has alreddy
suck-cummed to the rapture.
Pretty animal doesn't trust you,
unless you prepare a great hot chocolate.

#128 Bognoz

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Posted 20 May 2011 - 11:37 AM

Misspelled:
"rupture".

Soory.
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unless you prepare a great hot chocolate.

#129 Bognoz

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Posted 20 May 2011 - 11:37 AM

Old knews.
Pretty animal doesn't trust you,
unless you prepare a great hot chocolate.

#130 absinthist

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Posted 20 May 2011 - 11:42 AM

You are too stoopid to embrace Doomsday. Czeckerland traitor, profilin' yer Americkan crap lotta way.
"therefore the injury that is to be done to a man ought to be of such a kind that one does not stand in fear of revenge"

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#131 Bognoz

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Posted 20 May 2011 - 11:47 AM

Will you teach me English,
Mr. Professor teacher sir?
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#132 absinthist

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Posted 20 May 2011 - 11:52 AM

You are too limited for that. AmE yes, BrE, no way.
"therefore the injury that is to be done to a man ought to be of such a kind that one does not stand in fear of revenge"

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#133 Bognoz

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Posted 20 May 2011 - 12:00 PM

Mr. Professor Hubris, sir,
what you are talking about
reasonably escapes it
may be being understood.
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unless you prepare a great hot chocolate.

#134 jaded prol

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Posted 20 May 2011 - 12:16 PM

I think he's typing in tongues.
Drinking for medicinal reasons.

You may say I'm a drinker
but I'm not the only one.

#135 absinthist

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Posted 20 May 2011 - 12:20 PM

Said one belongin' to the serpent race.
"therefore the injury that is to be done to a man ought to be of such a kind that one does not stand in fear of revenge"

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N. Machiavelli

#136 Bognoz

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Posted 20 May 2011 - 12:23 PM

Fuck off and die
you racist piece of shit.
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unless you prepare a great hot chocolate.

#137 absinthist

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Posted 20 May 2011 - 12:26 PM

How old am I? How old are u? Who's God's Messenger?


Idiot.
"therefore the injury that is to be done to a man ought to be of such a kind that one does not stand in fear of revenge"

"Men’s hatreds generally spring from fear or envy"


N. Machiavelli

#138 Bognoz

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Posted 20 May 2011 - 12:27 PM

...™
Pretty animal doesn't trust you,
unless you prepare a great hot chocolate.

#139 GreyBoy2

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Posted 20 May 2011 - 12:32 PM

Said one belongin' to the serpent race.

:blink:
They're to keep out witches!

#140 Bognoz

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Posted 20 May 2011 - 12:45 PM

He speaks from under equine tail-feathers.
Pretty animal doesn't trust you,
unless you prepare a great hot chocolate.

#141 G&C

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Posted 20 May 2011 - 12:56 PM

Too much wood in his alcohol...

"It never was about absinthe anyway" - artemis 1/16/2015


#142 Bognoz

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Posted 20 May 2011 - 01:04 PM

Too much cellulose
in his bellicose
demeanor.
Pretty animal doesn't trust you,
unless you prepare a great hot chocolate.

#143 Kirk

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Posted 21 May 2011 - 07:51 AM

I don't get it, who is this serpent race absist is talking about and how does Prol fit into it ? Is that something from Star Trec?
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#144 G&C

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Posted 21 May 2011 - 08:24 AM

That was "V".

"It never was about absinthe anyway" - artemis 1/16/2015


#145 A.B. Normal

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Posted 21 May 2011 - 10:30 AM

It's also Stargate.

Yeah, that's right.
I occasionally watch SciFi.
Fuck off.
There's just too much time to kill between all my mistakes.

#146 G&C

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Posted 21 May 2011 - 12:11 PM

No, I won't.

I watch some Sci Fi.

"It never was about absinthe anyway" - artemis 1/16/2015


#147 Stroller

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Posted 12 June 2011 - 10:36 AM

http://www.ibtimes.c...-jane-lynch.htm
"Life is tough; it's tougher when you're stupid."

#148 Félix

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Posted 13 June 2011 - 01:24 PM

You guys are a bunch of nerds.
Je ne vais pas parler l'anglais plus. Ce n'est pas la chouette ! - Félix

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#149 Bognoz

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Posted 13 June 2011 - 01:31 PM

You gays eat a bunch of terds.


Pretty animal doesn't trust you,
unless you prepare a great hot chocolate.

#150 sixela

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Posted 13 June 2011 - 02:05 PM

As long as you're not starting to eat twerps I'm fine with it.

#151 Crosby

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Posted 14 June 2011 - 11:09 PM

...™

Attached Files


C'est ma santé

“Never approach a bull from the front, a horse from the rear or a fool from any direction.”


#152 Absomphe

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Posted 15 June 2011 - 03:59 AM

If the Post published only a front page, it wood be the best paper in the cuntry.
To the bar, for flaming Hills enemas!

#153 G&C

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Posted 07 July 2011 - 03:28 PM

...™

Attached Files


"It never was about absinthe anyway" - artemis 1/16/2015


#154 sixela

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Posted 08 July 2011 - 02:36 AM

...™


Ugh. Obama isn't Weiner, so it should be "if it were me". The English subjunctive mood really is going to the dogs.

Edited by sixela, 08 July 2011 - 02:37 AM.


#155 G&C

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Posted 15 July 2011 - 09:34 AM

From 1934...

Attached Files


"It never was about absinthe anyway" - artemis 1/16/2015


#156 Félix

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Posted 15 July 2011 - 10:09 AM

The more xit changes, the more xit tastes like Black Lickerish...
Je ne vais pas parler l'anglais plus. Ce n'est pas la chouette ! - Félix

'Black Lickerish Tasting Crap™ was okay while it lasted...' - The Pope

"Is he still using roadside fennel?" - G&C

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"I met Peter Shaft™ once. I was completely unimpressed."

#157 Absinthe_1900

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Posted 15 July 2011 - 03:04 PM

Better black likkerish than beer.

Attached Files


Remember, an armed TXLF is a polite TXLF

#158 G&C

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Posted 15 July 2011 - 03:23 PM

Not...™

"It never was about absinthe anyway" - artemis 1/16/2015


#159 jaded prol

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Posted 16 July 2011 - 02:46 AM

I prefer black likkerish but a beer is nice on occasion.
Drinking for medicinal reasons.

You may say I'm a drinker
but I'm not the only one.

#160 G&C

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Posted 18 July 2011 - 12:13 PM

Icebergs are Disappearing ?

The Washington Post

The Arctic Ocean is warming up, icebergs are growing scarcer and in some places the seals are finding the water too hot, according to a report to the Commerce Department yesterday from Consulafft, at Bergen, Norway .

Reports from fishermen, seal hunters, and explorers all point to a radical change in climate conditions and hitherto unheard-of temperatures in the Arctic zone. Exploration expeditions report that scarcely any ice has been met as far north as 81 degrees 29 minutes.

Soundings to a depth of 3,100 meters showed the gulf stream still very warm. Great masses of ice have been replaced by moraines of earth and stones, the report continued, while at many points well known glaciers have entirely disappeared.

Very few seals and no white fish are found in the eastern Arctic, while vast shoals of herring and smelts which have never before ventured so far north, are being encountered in the old seal fishing grounds. Within a few years it is predicted that due to the ice melt the sea will rise and make most coastal cities uninhabitable.

* * * * * * * * *

I apologize, I neglected to mention that this report was from November 2, 1922, as reported by the AP and published in The Washington Post - 89 years ago. ;o)

"It never was about absinthe anyway" - artemis 1/16/2015


#161 sixela

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Posted 18 July 2011 - 04:09 PM

You want me to explain the difference between climate and weather to you?

I doubt the people who wrote that in 1922 are still alive, so I can't explain it to them.

Edited by sixela, 19 July 2011 - 07:01 AM.


#162 G&C

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Posted 18 July 2011 - 04:12 PM

You need to get a life...

"It never was about absinthe anyway" - artemis 1/16/2015


#163 Kirk

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Posted 19 July 2011 - 05:07 AM

It wasn't the climate that killed them.
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#164 sixela

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Posted 19 July 2011 - 07:03 AM

Climate never kills, weather does. What the climate eventually does is cause bad weather and ecosystem upheaval (which does kill and even cause civilisations to collapse). We're likely all going to be dead before things get really nasty, of course (at least in the Western world; if you're living in a hut in Bangladesh things are going to be even more shitty than they are now sooner, but then, life expectancy in that country isn't very large either). But I do have kids.

Edited by sixela, 19 July 2011 - 07:04 AM.


#165 Crosby

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Posted 24 July 2011 - 08:03 PM

If'n you were thinking, you'd have seen that having them was a bad idea.
C'est ma santé

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#166 G&C

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Posted 28 July 2011 - 06:42 PM

KNOW YOUR STATE MOTTO

Alabama
Hell, Yes, We Have Electricity.

Alaska
11,623 Eskimos Can't Be Wrong!

Arizona
Yes, But It's A Dry Heat.

Arkansas
Literacy Ain't Everythang.

California
By 30, Our Women Have More
Plastic Than Your Honda.

Colorado
If You Don't Ski, Don't Bother.

Connecticut
Like Massachusetts, only smaller.

Delaware
We Really Do Like The Chemicals In Our Water.

Florida
Ask Us About Our Grand kids
And Our Voting Skills.

Georgia
We Put The Fun In Fundamentalist Extremism.

Hawaii
Haka Tiki Mou Sha'ami Leeki Toru
(Death To Mainland Scum, Leave Your Money)

Idaho
More Than Just Potatoes.
Well, Okay, We're Not, But The Potatoes Sure Are Real Good

Illinois
Please, Don't Pronounce the "S"

Indiana
2 Billion Years Tidal Wave Free

Iowa
We Do Amazing Things With Corn

Kansas
First Of The Rectangle states

Kentucky
Five Million People;
Fifteen Last Names

Louisiana
We're Not ALL Drunk Cajun Wackos, But That's Our Tourism Campaign.

Maine
We're Really Cold, But We Have Cheap Lobster

Maryland
If You Can Dream It, We Can Tax It

Massachusetts
Our Taxes Are Lower Than Sweden 's And Our Senators Are More Corrupt

Michigan
First Line Of Defense From The Canadians

Minnesota
10,000 Lakes... And 10 Zillion Mosquitoes

Mississippi
Come visit And Feel Better About Your Own State

Missouri
Your Federal Flood Relief Tax Dollars At Work

Montana
Land Of The Big Sky, The Unabomber, Right-wing Crazies, and Honest Elections

Nebraska
Ask About Our State Motto Contest

Nevada
Hookers and Poker!
New Hampshire
Go Away And Leave Us Alone

New Jersey
You Want A ##$%##! Motto?
I Got Yer ##$%##! Motto Right here!

New Mexico
Lizards Make Excellent Pets

New York
You Have The Right To Remain Silent,
You Have The Right To An Attorney
And No Right To Self Defense!

North Carolina
Tobacco Is A Vegetable

North Dakota
We Really Are One Of The 50 States!

Ohio
At Least We're Not Michigan

Oklahoma
Like The Play, But No Singing

Oregon
Spotted Owl... It's What's For Dinner

Pennsylvania
Cook With Coal

Rhode Island
We're Not REALLY An Island

South Carolina
Remember The Civil War?
Well, We Didn't Actually Surrender, Yet!

South Dakota
Closer Than North Dakota

Tennessee
Home of the Al Gore Invention Museum

Texas
Se Habla Ingles

Utah
Our Jesus Is Better Than Your Jesus

Vermont
Too liberal for the Kennedys

Virginia
Who Says Government Stiffs And Slackjaw Yokels Don't Mix?

Washington
Our Governor can out-fraud your Governor!

West Virginia
One Big Happy Family...Really!

Wisconsin
Come Cut the Cheese!

Wyoming
Where Men are Men and the Sheep are Scared.
Home of Brokeback Mountain

The District of Columbia
The Work-Free Drug Place

"It never was about absinthe anyway" - artemis 1/16/2015


#167 GreyBoy2

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Posted 17 August 2011 - 04:48 PM

...

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They're to keep out witches!

#168 Crosby

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Posted 05 September 2011 - 09:50 AM

...™

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C'est ma santé

“Never approach a bull from the front, a horse from the rear or a fool from any direction.”


#169 artemis

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Posted 05 September 2011 - 11:14 AM

Ha! Anything not on the chart is a "high-powered" rifle - you know, the kind that uses only premium gasoline.
You might be surprised how well old goat sausages are able to stand up to the heat.

#170 G&C

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Posted 05 September 2011 - 02:52 PM

Try it the next time you hear the President speak... It will keep you awake!

Please follow the rules before watching. I used to avoid listening to his speeches. Now, I look forward to the next one.
Here is something to help make Obama's speeches almost tolerable.

Just print out this page, distribute it to friends, and listen. (be sure to read directions at the bottom)


Rules for Bullshit Bingo:
1. Before Barrack Obama's next televised speech, print your "Bullshit Bingo"
2. Check off the appropriate block when you hear one of those words/phrases.
3. When you get five blocks horizontally, vertically, or diagonally, stand up and shout "BULLSHIT!"

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"It never was about absinthe anyway" - artemis 1/16/2015


#171 gasspectro

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Posted 05 September 2011 - 05:21 PM

Don't forget the new Obama-speak for tax increases..."revenue enhancements/generation."
Say something clever and memorable, or say something outrageous. And unfortunately, it's a lot easier to be outrageous than clever and memorable

#172 sixela

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Posted 06 September 2011 - 04:47 AM

Actually, the original (I'm pretty close to the source) wasn't called bullshit bingo, but buzzword bingo.

I'd like "historic", "the system is broken", "restore our reputation", "fiscal responsibility" and "not one dime" on one line, please.

It's a pity that the words were rearranged so that no Tea-Party speech can score a bingo. A bit partisan, if you ask me.

On the other hand, putting "the previous administration" in the middle of a card for bullshit is probably an irony lost on the lay-out people.

Edited by sixela, 06 September 2011 - 04:48 AM.


#173 Kirk

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Posted 06 September 2011 - 05:26 AM

Are you a "job creator" now?
Tool making Bi-Ped
http://www.absintheherbs.com

#174 Bognoz

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Posted 06 September 2011 - 10:14 AM

C'mon now, what I wanna know is
if I point my finger and say "bang"
does that hafta be a god-damned glock
or kan I say it's a high-powered rifle?
Pretty animal doesn't trust you,
unless you prepare a great hot chocolate.

#175 TheGreenOne

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Posted 06 September 2011 - 10:17 AM

It depends on where your finger is pointing.

shuck and jive is an important skill

 

I cannot play music on an infinite keyboard.


#176 G&C

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Posted 06 September 2011 - 10:56 AM

No.
It's always a Glock...

"It never was about absinthe anyway" - artemis 1/16/2015


#177 Bognoz

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Posted 06 September 2011 - 11:24 AM

...unless yr name is Maxwell.
Pretty animal doesn't trust you,
unless you prepare a great hot chocolate.

#178 Bognoz

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Posted 06 September 2011 - 11:25 AM

Then it's a silver hammer.
Pretty animal doesn't trust you,
unless you prepare a great hot chocolate.

#179 G&C

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Posted 06 September 2011 - 12:38 PM

Now known as a Glock.

"It never was about absinthe anyway" - artemis 1/16/2015


#180 TheGreenOne

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Posted 06 September 2011 - 02:00 PM

What if it's Elysian Brewing's AK-47?

shuck and jive is an important skill

 

I cannot play music on an infinite keyboard.


#181 artemis

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Posted 06 September 2011 - 02:10 PM

Substance.

As in, the right-winger abused an unknown substance before firing his high-powered rifle at a spotted owl.
You might be surprised how well old goat sausages are able to stand up to the heat.

#182 Stroller

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Posted 10 September 2011 - 09:14 AM

Campaigning outside Pittsburgh today, GOP frontrunner Rick Perry attended a picnic at St Francis of Assisi Catholic Church in Oil City where he enjoyed a foot long corndog while touring the fabulous reproduction of Michelangelo’s Sistine Chapel.

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"Life is tough; it's tougher when you're stupid."

#183 jaded prol

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Posted 10 September 2011 - 01:14 PM

Hah!
Drinking for medicinal reasons.

You may say I'm a drinker
but I'm not the only one.

#184 artemis

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Posted 10 September 2011 - 07:50 PM

Have ya'll seen that TV commercial with some assclown trying to get his mouth onto one of those things, but it's alive and flopping around, slopping mustard all over his face? It's a lot like that picture, only nastier.
You might be surprised how well old goat sausages are able to stand up to the heat.

#185 G&C

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Posted 16 September 2011 - 06:44 PM

...

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"It never was about absinthe anyway" - artemis 1/16/2015


#186 G&C

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Posted 26 November 2011 - 10:14 AM

Some years ago a small rural town in Italy twinned with a similar town
in Greece.


The Mayor of the Greek town visited the Italian town. When he saw the
palatial mansion belonging to the Italian mayor he wondered how he
could afford such a house. The Italian said; "You see that bridge over
there? The EU gave us a grant to build a four-lane bridge, but by
building a single lane bridge with traffic lights at either end this
house could be built".


The following year the Italian visited the Greek town. He was simply
amazed at the Greek Mayor's house, gold faucets, marble floors, it was
marvelous. When he asked how this could be afforded, the Greek said;
"You see that bridge over there?"


The Italian replied; "No ... ...?"

"It never was about absinthe anyway" - artemis 1/16/2015


#187 G&C

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Posted 02 December 2011 - 05:30 PM

Ted Nugent, rock star and avid bow hunter from Michigan , was being interviewed by a liberal journalist, an animal rights activist. The discussion came around to deer hunting. The journalist asked, 'What do you think is the last thought in the head of a deer before you shoot him? Is it, 'Are you my friend?' or is it 'Are you the one who killed my brother?

Nugent replied, 'Deer aren't capable of that kind of thinking. All they care about is, what am I going to eat next, who am I going to screw next, and can I run fast enough to get away. They are very much like the Democrats in Congress.'

"It never was about absinthe anyway" - artemis 1/16/2015


#188 Crosby

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Posted 25 December 2011 - 02:03 PM

...™

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C'est ma santé

“Never approach a bull from the front, a horse from the rear or a fool from any direction.”