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Political Humor IV


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#1 Crosby

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Posted 14 February 2008 - 12:08 AM

...™

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C'est ma santé

“Never approach a bull from the front, a horse from the rear or a fool from any direction.”


#2 Crosby

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Posted 22 February 2008 - 03:44 PM

:GIL:

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C'est ma santé

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#3 greeneyes

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Posted 22 February 2008 - 09:34 PM

Ha!
What else is in the teaches of Peaches?

#4 Louched Liver

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Posted 23 February 2008 - 01:27 PM

Oh god.
ENORMUS DICK

#5 absinthist

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Posted 24 February 2008 - 11:34 AM

Oh Gawd! Really joyous future.
"therefore the injury that is to be done to a man ought to be of such a kind that one does not stand in fear of revenge"

"Men’s hatreds generally spring from fear or envy"


N. Machiavelli

#6 jaded prol

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Posted 29 February 2008 - 03:41 AM

Obama goes Bollywood.
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#7 G&C

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Posted 12 March 2008 - 02:18 PM

Washington, D.C.
7 years after Clinton left town.

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"It never was about absinthe anyway" - artemis 1/16/2015


#8 absinthist

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Posted 12 March 2008 - 02:42 PM

Creepy. Village of the Damned 2.
"therefore the injury that is to be done to a man ought to be of such a kind that one does not stand in fear of revenge"

"Men’s hatreds generally spring from fear or envy"


N. Machiavelli

#9 CelticGent

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Posted 14 March 2008 - 07:05 AM

isn't that the name of hillary's book?
the fresh maker

#10 jaded prol

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Posted 17 March 2008 - 01:20 PM

The facts seem to point to Bush being connected to child prostitution.















Not to mention worldwide anal rape.
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#11 absinthist

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Posted 17 March 2008 - 01:43 PM

Bush is Anal Rape Prowler!
"therefore the injury that is to be done to a man ought to be of such a kind that one does not stand in fear of revenge"

"Men’s hatreds generally spring from fear or envy"


N. Machiavelli

#12 GreyBoy2

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Posted 17 March 2008 - 07:10 PM

...
Posted Image
They're to keep out witches!

#13 GreyBoy2

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Posted 17 March 2008 - 07:13 PM

...
Posted Image
They're to keep out witches!

#14 Kirk

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Posted 18 March 2008 - 05:10 AM

Bush's invasion destroyed the Iraqi government and unleashed a wave of political and sectarian violence that has killed over 1 million Iraqis and forced 4 million to become refugees,


Most of them women and children.
Funny, that's exactly what many of us said would happen.
Odd how a bunch of misfits like us knew exactly what was going to come of this, yet our skilled politicians
kept the blinders on.
There were a few among us who said the Iraqi people would greet us with flowers and then we'd go home.
To those stupid ignorant cunts, I'd just like to say;
I told you the fuck so, dumass, stay the hell out of it next time.
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http://www.absintheherbs.com

#15 jaded prol

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Posted 19 March 2008 - 07:39 AM

. . .

Attached Files


Drinking for medicinal reasons.

You may say I'm a drinker
but I'm not the only one.

#16 absinthist

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Posted 19 March 2008 - 07:59 AM

:wink: the base of most of CO's.
"therefore the injury that is to be done to a man ought to be of such a kind that one does not stand in fear of revenge"

"Men’s hatreds generally spring from fear or envy"


N. Machiavelli

#17 Crosby

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Posted 19 March 2008 - 09:03 AM

The FDA will never approve it.
C'est ma santé

“Never approach a bull from the front, a horse from the rear or a fool from any direction.”


#18 Crosby

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Posted 21 March 2008 - 09:32 AM

:BL:

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C'est ma santé

“Never approach a bull from the front, a horse from the rear or a fool from any direction.”


#19 TheGreenOne

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Posted 21 March 2008 - 10:34 AM

Spitzer is a girl?

shuck and jive is an important skill

 

I cannot play music on an infinite keyboard.


#20 Louched Liver

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Posted 21 March 2008 - 10:44 AM

At least he's got
better taste than
Clinton.

Gennifer Flowers is
a mutt.
ENORMUS DICK

#21 absinthist

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Posted 21 March 2008 - 11:17 AM

Spitzer is a girl?

Beggar wants a cheap date. Once Spritzer resigned, he is even moreso cheaperer date.
"therefore the injury that is to be done to a man ought to be of such a kind that one does not stand in fear of revenge"

"Men’s hatreds generally spring from fear or envy"


N. Machiavelli

#22 TheGreenOne

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Posted 21 March 2008 - 12:06 PM

Dis GenFlo all you want, but why hate on mutts?

shuck and jive is an important skill

 

I cannot play music on an infinite keyboard.


#23 GreyBoy2

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Posted 23 March 2008 - 06:27 PM

Gennifer Flowers is
a mutt.

Yea,
and Monica was a hottie.
They're to keep out witches!

#24 G&C

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Posted 23 March 2008 - 09:00 PM

Mebbe he was drinkin on the job too.

"It never was about absinthe anyway" - artemis 1/16/2015


#25 Crosby

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Posted 23 March 2008 - 09:59 PM

I saw pictures of Spitz's hooker. Five bucks would have been over charging, let alone $5K.
C'est ma santé

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#26 Crosby

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Posted 23 March 2008 - 10:17 PM

:choke:

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C'est ma santé

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#27 TheGreenOne

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Posted 25 March 2008 - 09:03 AM

Spitzer's the exception to the rule that the only free sex is the sex you pay for.

shuck and jive is an important skill

 

I cannot play music on an infinite keyboard.


#28 Crosby

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Posted 08 May 2008 - 01:50 PM

:NONO:

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C'est ma santé

“Never approach a bull from the front, a horse from the rear or a fool from any direction.”


#29 jaded prol

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Posted 09 May 2008 - 06:16 AM

. . .

Attached Files


Drinking for medicinal reasons.

You may say I'm a drinker
but I'm not the only one.

#30 sixela

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Posted 09 May 2008 - 06:27 AM

The famous painting by Clintavaggio?

#31 jaded prol

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Posted 17 May 2008 - 05:32 AM

Sign of the times

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  • Attached File  gas.jpg   17.38K   0 downloads

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#32 G&C

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Posted 22 May 2008 - 02:51 PM

The remodel.

Attached File  Islamic_White_House.jpg   37.47K   26 downloads

"It never was about absinthe anyway" - artemis 1/16/2015


#33 absinthist

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Posted 22 May 2008 - 11:53 PM

Bleue House?
"therefore the injury that is to be done to a man ought to be of such a kind that one does not stand in fear of revenge"

"Men’s hatreds generally spring from fear or envy"


N. Machiavelli

#34 jaded prol

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Posted 23 May 2008 - 02:57 AM

Taj Mahal domes would look better.
Drinking for medicinal reasons.

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but I'm not the only one.

#35 Bognoz

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Posted 23 May 2008 - 03:47 AM

If only it was a mausoleum
for the current president.
Pretty animal doesn't trust you,
unless you prepare a great hot chocolate.

#36 Crosby

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Posted 04 June 2008 - 10:23 PM

This should scare the xit out of any bird, most people too:

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C'est ma santé

“Never approach a bull from the front, a horse from the rear or a fool from any direction.”


#37 G&C

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Posted 04 June 2008 - 10:39 PM

Not scary, butt funny as hell.

I want one for my deck!

"It never was about absinthe anyway" - artemis 1/16/2015


#38 Bognoz

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Posted 04 June 2008 - 11:10 PM

Fookin' hilarious.

I bet iffen you took a shot
at 'im the ricochet comes
straight back atcha.
Pretty animal doesn't trust you,
unless you prepare a great hot chocolate.

#39 Crosby

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Posted 04 June 2008 - 11:12 PM

I think it's the only time I've ever seen a smile on his face.
C'est ma santé

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#40 Bognoz

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Posted 04 June 2008 - 11:16 PM

I think he was happy when the madam
offed herself without outting him. Butt
that was a private affair. For money,
of course.
Pretty animal doesn't trust you,
unless you prepare a great hot chocolate.

#41 absinthist

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Posted 19 June 2008 - 02:23 AM

...

Attached Files


"therefore the injury that is to be done to a man ought to be of such a kind that one does not stand in fear of revenge"

"Men’s hatreds generally spring from fear or envy"


N. Machiavelli

#42 Crosby

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Posted 19 July 2008 - 03:36 PM

...™

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C'est ma santé

“Never approach a bull from the front, a horse from the rear or a fool from any direction.”


#43 A.B. Normal

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Posted 19 July 2008 - 03:54 PM

:wink:
There's just too much time to kill between all my mistakes.

#44 absinthist

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Posted 04 August 2008 - 12:20 PM

For you Chemistry Buffs... A new addition to Chemistry's Periodic Table
Research has led to the discovery of the heaviest element yet known to science. The new element, Governmentium (Gv), has one neutron, 25 assistant neutrons, 88 deputy neutrons, and 198 assistant deputy neutrons, giving it an atomic mass of 312.

These 312 particles are held together by forces called morons, which are surrounded by vast quantities of lepton-like particles called peons. Since Governmentium has no electrons, it is inert; however, it can be detected, because it impedes every action with which it comes into contact. A minute amount of Governmentium can cause a reaction that would normally take less than a second to take from four days to four years to complete.Governmentium has a normal half-life of 2-6 years; it does not decay, but instead undergoes a reorganization in which a portion of the assistant neutrons and deputy neutrons exchange places. In fact, Governmentium's mass will actually increase over time, since each reorganization will cause more morons to become neutrons, forming isodopes. This characteristic of moron promotion leads some scientists to believe that Governmentium is formed whenever morons reach a critical concentration. This hypothetical quantity is referred to as critical morass.

When catalyzed with money,Governmentium becomes Administratium, an element that radiates just as much energy as Governmentium since it has half as many peons but twice as many morons.
"therefore the injury that is to be done to a man ought to be of such a kind that one does not stand in fear of revenge"

"Men’s hatreds generally spring from fear or envy"


N. Machiavelli

#45 Crosby

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Posted 14 August 2008 - 01:21 AM

...™

Attached Files


C'est ma santé

“Never approach a bull from the front, a horse from the rear or a fool from any direction.”


#46 G&C

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Posted 31 August 2008 - 06:41 AM

...

Attached Files


Edited by G&C, 31 August 2008 - 06:42 AM.

"It never was about absinthe anyway" - artemis 1/16/2015


#47 Nymphadora

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Posted 05 September 2008 - 12:41 PM

That's my girl! I wonder if she used tansy for her boobs?
I'm influencing your children.

#48 Bognoz

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Posted 05 September 2008 - 01:01 PM

Do you?
Pretty animal doesn't trust you,
unless you prepare a great hot chocolate.

#49 Bognoz

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Posted 05 September 2008 - 01:03 PM

Or only yr Pole
knows for sure?
Pretty animal doesn't trust you,
unless you prepare a great hot chocolate.

#50 Phoenix

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Posted 25 September 2008 - 09:04 PM

Posted Image
"Watching television is like taking black spray paint to your third eye." - Bill Hicks

#51 Crosby

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Posted 01 October 2008 - 09:19 AM

...™

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C'est ma santé

“Never approach a bull from the front, a horse from the rear or a fool from any direction.”


#52 Wild Bill Turkey

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Posted 01 October 2008 - 11:25 AM

Well, he did propose low-level bombing of Mississippi when he was told about the war on poverty.
It's all fun and games until someone loses an eye. Then it's just fun.

#53 Phoenix

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Posted 03 October 2008 - 11:05 PM

Posted Image
"Watching television is like taking black spray paint to your third eye." - Bill Hicks

#54 G&C

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Posted 12 October 2008 - 06:30 AM

While walking down the street one day a US senator is tragically hit by
a truck and dies.

His soul arrives in heaven and is met by St. Peter at the entrance.

"Welcome to heaven," says St. Peter. "Before you settle in, it seems
there is a problem. We seldom see a high official around these parts,
you see, so we're not sure what to do with you."

"No problem, just let me in," says the man.

"Well, I'd like to, but I have orders from higher up. What we'll do
is have you spend one day in hell and one in heaven. Then you
can choose where to spend eternity."

"Really, I've made up my mind. I want to be in n heaven," says the
senator.

"I'm sorry, but we have our rules."

And with that, St. Peter escorts him to the elevator and he goes
down, down, down to hell. The doors open and he finds himself
in the middle of a green golf course. In the distance is a clubhouse
and standing in front of it are all his friends and other politicians
who had worked with him.

Everyone is very happy and in evening dress. They run to greet him,
shake his hand, and reminisce about the good times they had while
getting rich at the expense of the people.

They play a friendly game of golf and then dine on lobster, caviar
and champagne.

Also present is the devil, who really is a very friendly guy who
has a good time dancing and telling jokes. They are having such a
good time that before he realizes it, it is time to go.

Everyone gives him a hearty farewell and waves while the elevator
rises...

The elevator goes up, up, up and the door reopens on heaven where St.
Peter
is waiting for him.

"Now it's time to visit heaven."

So, 24 hours pass with the senator joining a group of contented souls
moving from cloud to cloud, playing the harp and singing. They have a
good time and, before he realizes it, the 24 hours have gone by and St.
Peter returns.

"Well, then, you've spent a day in hell and another in heaven. Now
choose your eternity."

The senator reflects for a minute, then he answers: "Well, I would
never have said it before, I mean heaven has been delightful, but
I think I would be better off in hell."

So St. Peter escorts him to the elevator and he goes down, down,
down to hell.

Now the doors of the elevator open and he's in the middle of a
barren land covered with waste and garbage.

He sees all his friends, dressed in rags, picking up the trash and
putting it in black bags as more trash falls from above.

The devil comes over to him and puts his arm around his shoulder.
"I don't understand," stammers the senator. "Yesterday I was here
and there was a golf course and clubhouse, and we ate lobster and
caviar, drank champagne, and danced and had a great time. Now
there's just a wasteland full of garbage and my friends look miserable.
What happened?"

The devil looks at him, smiles and says, "Yesterday we were campaigning.. .



Today you voted."

"It never was about absinthe anyway" - artemis 1/16/2015


#55 absinthist

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Posted 12 October 2008 - 10:09 AM

So fookin' true thass why I have stopped votin'. Last time I went to say "SKREW YOU" to EU butt dat was a duty.

Edited by absinthist, 12 October 2008 - 10:10 AM.

"therefore the injury that is to be done to a man ought to be of such a kind that one does not stand in fear of revenge"

"Men’s hatreds generally spring from fear or envy"


N. Machiavelli

#56 Absomphe

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Posted 12 October 2008 - 03:18 PM

<---- Proud to have a spotless voting record.

As in, not once since I was eligible.
To the bar, for flaming Hills enemas!

#57 jaded prol

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Posted 12 October 2008 - 03:23 PM

Prolly just as well.
Drinking for medicinal reasons.

You may say I'm a drinker
but I'm not the only one.

#58 Absomphe

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Posted 12 October 2008 - 05:25 PM

Considering I woulda voted for Gus Hall for president more than once, you might wanna reconsider that statement. :blbl:
To the bar, for flaming Hills enemas!

#59 jaded prol

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Posted 12 October 2008 - 06:10 PM

I liked Gus.
Drinking for medicinal reasons.

You may say I'm a drinker
but I'm not the only one.

#60 G&C

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Posted 12 October 2008 - 08:36 PM

I like O.

"It never was about absinthe anyway" - artemis 1/16/2015


#61 Crosby

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Posted 12 October 2008 - 09:39 PM

If'n you mean the "Story of", I'm down.
C'est ma santé

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#62 Rimbaud

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Posted 13 October 2008 - 06:42 AM

I prefer The Story of the Eye.

There's sometimes a buggy.

#63 Crosby

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Posted 13 October 2008 - 01:18 PM

:blbl:

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#64 Chris

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Posted 16 October 2008 - 11:05 AM

http://www.palinaspresident.com/

Ha!
"If you've got to be anything, be an alcoholic" - C. Bukowski

#65 Crosby

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Posted 16 October 2008 - 04:12 PM

Reminds me of Jack's Flaming TAB.

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#66 Crosby

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Posted 16 October 2008 - 04:24 PM

...™

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C'est ma santé

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#67 Crosby

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Posted 16 October 2008 - 04:25 PM

...™

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C'est ma santé

“Never approach a bull from the front, a horse from the rear or a fool from any direction.”


#68 Phoenix

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Posted 17 October 2008 - 08:36 PM

Posted Image
"Watching television is like taking black spray paint to your third eye." - Bill Hicks

#69 TheGreenOne

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Posted 20 October 2008 - 08:31 AM

Trickle down theory.

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shuck and jive is an important skill

 

I cannot play music on an infinite keyboard.


#70 Crosby

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Posted 29 October 2008 - 11:54 AM

...™

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C'est ma santé

“Never approach a bull from the front, a horse from the rear or a fool from any direction.”


#71 Crosby

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Posted 29 October 2008 - 11:56 AM

...™

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C'est ma santé

“Never approach a bull from the front, a horse from the rear or a fool from any direction.”


#72 Crosby

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Posted 29 October 2008 - 11:57 AM

...™

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C'est ma santé

“Never approach a bull from the front, a horse from the rear or a fool from any direction.”


#73 Crosby

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Posted 29 October 2008 - 12:01 PM

...™

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C'est ma santé

“Never approach a bull from the front, a horse from the rear or a fool from any direction.”


#74 Crosby

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Posted 29 October 2008 - 09:25 PM

...™

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C'est ma santé

“Never approach a bull from the front, a horse from the rear or a fool from any direction.”


#75 Crosby

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Posted 29 October 2008 - 09:26 PM

...™

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C'est ma santé

“Never approach a bull from the front, a horse from the rear or a fool from any direction.”


#76 eric

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Posted 01 November 2008 - 09:44 AM

...™
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What would I do?

#77 absinthist

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Posted 01 November 2008 - 10:34 AM

Oh Snap!
"therefore the injury that is to be done to a man ought to be of such a kind that one does not stand in fear of revenge"

"Men’s hatreds generally spring from fear or envy"


N. Machiavelli

#78 Crosby

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Posted 01 November 2008 - 11:55 AM

...™

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C'est ma santé

“Never approach a bull from the front, a horse from the rear or a fool from any direction.”


#79 Crosby

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Posted 01 November 2008 - 11:58 AM

...™

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#80 Crosby

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Posted 04 November 2008 - 09:07 AM

...™

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C'est ma santé

“Never approach a bull from the front, a horse from the rear or a fool from any direction.”


#81 Crosby

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Posted 04 November 2008 - 09:08 AM

:woo:

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#82 TheGreenOne

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Posted 06 November 2008 - 08:39 AM

...

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shuck and jive is an important skill

 

I cannot play music on an infinite keyboard.


#83 Crosby

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Posted 18 November 2008 - 05:34 PM

:smutty:

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C'est ma santé

“Never approach a bull from the front, a horse from the rear or a fool from any direction.”


#84 Crosby

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Posted 18 November 2008 - 05:35 PM

...™

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C'est ma santé

“Never approach a bull from the front, a horse from the rear or a fool from any direction.”


#85 G&C

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Posted 20 November 2008 - 03:52 PM

Back in 1999, the government seized the Mustang
Ranch brothel in Nevada for tax evasion and,
as required by law, tried to run it.

They failed and it closed. Now, we are trusting
the economy of our country and $800+ billion to a
pack of nit-wits who couldn't make money running a
whore house and selling booze..

Now, if that 'don't' make you nervous, what does?

"It never was about absinthe anyway" - artemis 1/16/2015


#86 Crosby

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Posted 20 November 2008 - 10:58 PM

Grate point.
C'est ma santé

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#87 absinthist

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Posted 21 November 2008 - 03:15 AM

If ya know it is inevitably cummin', mebbe it is not that FUNNY, after all:

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"therefore the injury that is to be done to a man ought to be of such a kind that one does not stand in fear of revenge"

"Men’s hatreds generally spring from fear or envy"


N. Machiavelli

#88 Crosby

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Posted 29 November 2008 - 12:42 AM

:clap: :vdnc: :clap:

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C'est ma santé

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#89 Crosby

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Posted 01 December 2008 - 05:22 PM

http://t-shirts.cafe...shirt/226721114

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C'est ma santé

“Never approach a bull from the front, a horse from the rear or a fool from any direction.”


#90 jaded prol

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Posted 20 December 2008 - 04:12 AM

Give it your best shot .
Drinking for medicinal reasons.

You may say I'm a drinker
but I'm not the only one.

#91 Crosby

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Posted 20 December 2008 - 11:07 AM

Nice!
C'est ma santé

“Never approach a bull from the front, a horse from the rear or a fool from any direction.”


#92 jaded prol

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Posted 21 December 2008 - 08:33 AM

Now if we can make a version where shoes (even say fluvogs) can be thrown at the grate H . . .
Drinking for medicinal reasons.

You may say I'm a drinker
but I'm not the only one.

#93 Kirk

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Posted 21 December 2008 - 08:33 AM

Telephones.
Tool making Bi-Ped
http://www.absintheherbs.com

#94 jaded prol

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Posted 21 December 2008 - 08:36 AM

Avatars
Drinking for medicinal reasons.

You may say I'm a drinker
but I'm not the only one.

#95 Bognoz

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Posted 21 December 2008 - 11:21 AM

Invective
and
vitriol.
Pretty animal doesn't trust you,
unless you prepare a great hot chocolate.

#96 Bognoz

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Posted 21 December 2008 - 11:22 AM

Fuck it.

I'd rather have
a simple
stone

to throw.
Pretty animal doesn't trust you,
unless you prepare a great hot chocolate.

#97 Kirk

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Posted 21 December 2008 - 12:18 PM

How far could you throw him?
Tool making Bi-Ped
http://www.absintheherbs.com

#98 G&C

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Posted 21 December 2008 - 12:44 PM

Ha!

"It never was about absinthe anyway" - artemis 1/16/2015


#99 Bognoz

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Posted 21 December 2008 - 04:31 PM

The Lard no farther
than he can be
trusted.
Pretty animal doesn't trust you,
unless you prepare a great hot chocolate.

#100 Crosby

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Posted 29 January 2009 - 07:08 PM

:CG:

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C'est ma santé

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#101 G&C

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Posted 01 February 2009 - 02:58 PM

Dispute Between Neighbours - this is a true story...

A city councilman in Utah, Mark Easton, had a beautiful view of the east mountains, until a new neighbor purchased the lot below his house and built a new home.


The new home was 18 inches higher than the ordinances would allow, so Mark Easton, mad about his lost view, went to the city to make sure they enforced the lower roof line ordinance.


The new neighbour had to drop the roof line, at great expense.

Recently, Mark Easton called the city, and informed them that his new neighbor had installed some vents on the side of his home.

Mark didn't like the look of these vents and asked the city to investigate.

When they went to Mark's home to see what the vents looked like, this is what they found...




Attached File  FU.jpeg   55.96K   1 downloads

Attached File  FU2.jpeg   32.79K   1 downloads

"It never was about absinthe anyway" - artemis 1/16/2015


#102 Crosby

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Posted 01 February 2009 - 08:58 PM

Heh, I need a set of those.
C'est ma santé

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#103 G&C

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Posted 11 March 2009 - 01:17 PM

Iranian president Mahmud Ahmadinejad calls President Obama and tells him, "Barack, I had a wonderful dream last night. I could see America , the whole beautiful country, and on each house I saw banner."

"What did it say on the banners?" Obama asks. Mahmud replies, "UNITED STATES OF IRAN."

Obama says, "You know, Mahmud, I am really happy you called, because believe it or not, last night I had a similar dream. I could see all of Tehran, and it was more beautiful than ever, and on each house flew an enormous banner."

"What did it say on the banners?" Mahmud asks.

Obama replies, "I don't know.. I can't read Hebrew."

"It never was about absinthe anyway" - artemis 1/16/2015


#104 Crosby

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Posted 11 March 2009 - 11:41 PM

I Like! :scared:
C'est ma santé

“Never approach a bull from the front, a horse from the rear or a fool from any direction.”


#105 Crosby

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Posted 25 March 2009 - 01:33 PM

...™

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C'est ma santé

“Never approach a bull from the front, a horse from the rear or a fool from any direction.”


#106 Crosby

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Posted 27 March 2009 - 01:12 PM

:wink:

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C'est ma santé

“Never approach a bull from the front, a horse from the rear or a fool from any direction.”


#107 Crosby

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Posted 07 April 2009 - 05:23 PM

:smutty2:

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C'est ma santé

“Never approach a bull from the front, a horse from the rear or a fool from any direction.”


#108 G&C

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Posted 14 April 2009 - 02:32 PM

HOW TO SAVE THE AIRLINES ?



Dump the male flight attendants.

No one wanted them in the first place.
Replace all the female flight attendants with

good-looking strippers! What the hell,

they don't even serve food anymore,

so what's the loss?

The strippers would at least triple the alcohol sales and get a 'party atmosphere' going in the cabin. And, of course, every businessman in this country would start flying again, hoping to see naked women.


Because of the tips, female flight attendants wouldn't need a salary, thus saving even more money. I suspect tips would be so good that we could charge the women for working the plane and have them kick back 20% of the tips, including lap dances and 'special services.'

Muslims would be afraid to get on the planes for fear of seeing naked women. Hijackings would come to a screeching halt, and the airline industry would see record revenues.

This is definitely a win-win situation if we handle it right -- a golden opportunity to turn a liability into an asset.

Why didn't Bush think of this?

Why do I still have to do everything myself?

Sincerely,
Bill Clinton

"It never was about absinthe anyway" - artemis 1/16/2015


#109 Crosby

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Posted 26 April 2009 - 08:25 AM

...™

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C'est ma santé

“Never approach a bull from the front, a horse from the rear or a fool from any direction.”


#110 Louchelooker

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Posted 26 April 2009 - 04:19 PM

Ha!
"Yes," said the girl. "Everything tastes of licorice. Especially all the things you've waited so long for, like absinthe." E.H.

#111 Crosby

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Posted 27 April 2009 - 09:20 PM

...™

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C'est ma santé

“Never approach a bull from the front, a horse from the rear or a fool from any direction.”


#112 Crosby

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Posted 14 May 2009 - 10:52 PM

...™

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C'est ma santé

“Never approach a bull from the front, a horse from the rear or a fool from any direction.”


#113 Toni

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Posted 25 May 2009 - 11:07 AM

A lady liberal wrote a lot of letters to the

government, complaining about the treatment of captive insurgents

(terrorists) being held in Afghanistan National Correctional System

facilities. She received back the following reply:





National s
SecurityAdministration

LTG Keith B. Alexander




Dear Concerned Citizen,


Thank you for your recent letter expressing your profound concern of

treatment of the Taliban and Al Qaeda terrorists captured by Hoser

Forces who were subsequently transferred to the Afghanistan Government

and are currently being held by Afghan officials in Afghanistan

National Correctional System facilities.



Our administration takes these matters seriously and your opinions

were heard loud and clear here in Ottawa . You will be pleased to

learn, thanks to the concerns of citizens like yourself, we are

creating a new department here at the Department of National Defense,

to be called 'Liberals Accept Responsibility for Killers' program, or

L.A.R.K. for short.


In accordance with the guidelines of this new program, we have decided

to divert one terrorist and place him in your personal care. Your

personal detainee has been selected and is scheduled for

transportation under heavily armed guard to your residence

in Toronto next Monday. Ali Mohammed Ahmed bin Mahmud (you can just

call him Ahmed) is to be cared for pursuant to the standards you

personally demanded in your letter of complaint. It will likely be

necessary for you to hire some assistant caretakers. We will conduct

weekly inspections to ensure that your standards of care for Ahmed are

commensurate with those you so strongly recommend in your letter.


Although Ahmed is a sociopath and extremely violent, we hope that your

sensitivity to what you described as his 'attitudinal problem' will

help him overcome these character flaws. Perhaps you are correct in

describing these problems as mere cultural differences. We understand

that you plan to offer counseling and home schooling.


Your adopted terrorist is extremely proficient in hand-to-hand combat

and can extinguish human life with such simple items as a pencil or

nail clippers. We advise that you do not ask him to demonstrate these

skills at your next yoga group. He is also expert at making a wide

variety of explosive devices from common household products, so you

may wish to keep those items locked up, unless (in your opinion) this

might offend him.


Ahmed will not wish to interact with you or your daughters (except

sexually) since he views females as a subhuman form of property. This

is a particularly sensitive subject for him and he has been known to

show violent tendencies around women who fail to comply with the new

dress code that he will recommend as more appropriate attire. I'm sure

you will come to enjoy the anonymity offered by the burka over time

Just remember that it is all part of 'respecting his culture and

religious beliefs', as described in your letter.


Thanks again for your concern. We truly appreciate it when folks like

you keep us informed of the proper way to do our job and care for our

fellow man. You take good care of Ahmed, and remember, we'll be

watching. Good luck and God bless you.





Cordially,

LTG Keith B. Alexander
Director, National Security Agency
Chief, Central Security Service


__________________

#114 Crosby

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Posted 25 May 2009 - 01:20 PM

Nice. Much better than your taste in absinthe.
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#115 jaded prol

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Posted 26 May 2009 - 09:07 AM

I'd take in one of those poor Uighurs before I'd want one of those grunt torturers in the hood. As for the Saudi extremists, try 'em and either put 'em in a supermax or send them home -- the Saudis are rough on dissidents. Hell, Rumsfeld and Cheney are terrorists that should be in prison.
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#116 Crosby

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Posted 26 May 2009 - 09:14 AM

Please clean up after you're bleeding heart, it's leaving a mess on the floor. That's the stupidest thing I've read in a while.
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#117 Crosby

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Posted 26 May 2009 - 12:21 PM

Pentagon: Some released detainees return to battle

By LARA JAKES (Associated Press Writer)
From Associated Press
May 26, 2009 3:00 PM EDT

WASHINGTON - Five percent of Guantanamo Bay detainees have participated in terrorist activities since their release from the U.S. navy prison, the Pentagon said Tuesday. An additional 9 percent are believed to have joined - or rejoined - the fight against the U.S. and its allies, according to Defense Department data released amid a simmering political battle over where to send the detainees if the prison closes in January as planned.

Constitutional scholars have long cast doubt on the Pentagon's detainee data, saying it's not proven that at least some of those who were released were even linked to terrorism in the first place.

The Pentagon maintains that all the Guantanamo detainees were captured and, in most cases, held for years, because of suspected ties to al-Qaida, the Taliban or other foreign fighter groups.

"What this tells us is, at the end of the day, there are individuals, that if released, will again return to terrorist activities," Pentagon spokesman Bryan Whitman said Tuesday.

As of April 7, the latest data available, 74 of approximately 540 detainees that have been released have since taken up the fight, or are at least suspected of doing so. The Pentagon says it has fingerprints, DNA, photos or reliable intelligence to link 27 detainees to the war since their release.

Speaking out against the United States, or participating in other anti-U.S. propaganda alone is not considered terrorist activity, the Pentagon said.

(This version CORRECTS UPDATES throughout with additional information; corrects overline to 9 percent additional suspects, sted 14 percent)
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#118 jaded prol

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Posted 26 May 2009 - 03:40 PM

Whoa! 9 maybe 13 percent might actually want to fight us (I just don't understand why they hate our freedom!). I guess that leaves at least 87% of released detainees as probably wrongly held and tortured for years. Oh well, collateral damage in the name of Empire I guess. No Cros, I'm not a "bleeding heart." If they are actually guilty of crimes and involvement in terrorism, I say try them in court and lock them away. Unfortunately many of the folks in our torture gulags were sold to us on a grudge or to make quota or were just in the wrong place at the wrong time. What kind of xit is that? Given some of the things you've said on occasional you could just as well be hanging from your elbows in a cell with gyrines kicking in your nuts. That is not what we should be doing. Period. Bad enough the new troll finds humor in that but you should be more aware than that.
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#119 Crosby

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Posted 26 May 2009 - 09:28 PM

I don't know what your hang-up with the Marines is. I'm guessing they rejected you, or you wanted to fuck one and he didn't go for it. Don't forget these young people are the defenders of your freedom to hate them.

I can't understand how you figure the percentage as being inconsequential either. It only takes one asshole with a bomb to ruin a lot of folks day.

You don't know why the people being detained are there and it's horse-xit to pretend you do and that most of them are innocent. They should not be brought onto US soil and they should not be held in civilian facilities. If we're having a war, the people being held should be dealt with by the military. Let us not forget that all of this started when 3000 Americans got up for work one morning and never came home. If top three assholes that brought about the attack got water dripped on their faces, oh fucking well.

If you want to talk toture, Daniel Pearl was murdered and beheaded. Pearl's body was found cut into ten pieces and buried in a shallow grave in the outskirts of Karachi. At least they sent us a video.
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#120 Bognoz

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Posted 26 May 2009 - 10:44 PM

Military justice? Not really
one of their strong points
or a mission that they're trained
to mete out dispassionately.

Even so, they've made next to no
move to prove that the persons
they are responsible for incarcerating
are guilty of the innuendos
with which they have been accused.

Make charges. Prove them.
Assign sentences to the guilty.
Let the innocent go.

Anything less than adherence
to the laws of the land undermines
the State's authority,
legal as well as moral, as
a beacon of justice and democracy.
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#121 Crosby

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Posted 26 May 2009 - 11:58 PM

The laws of the land are civil laws, they have nothing to do with people being held for making war on the land. The Geneva Conventions deal with how these people are to be treated. Once again, all of you brainiacs need to prove how you know that the people being held are innocent. All I ever hear is the opinions of people who can't know why these people were detained in the first place. They are POWs and are not entiteled to any rights under the US constitution. Also, it isn't like they are going to blow-up xit in the little corner of Eastern Europe you live in, which makes it easy for you to have an opinion that's even easier for me to blow-off as worthless.
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#122 Bognoz

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Posted 27 May 2009 - 12:22 AM

I am making no statements about the guilt
or innocence of the individuals detained.
That is not for me, or you, to decide.

George Bush decided
that the Geneva Conventions do not apply
to these particular individuals.

They have been and are being held
in a state of limbo,
legal and moral.

Yet the State has stood on statements
proclaiming the legal and moral
authority (granted by some deity)
to act in ways which ultimately
appear dishonest and hypocritical.

The nation detains these combatants
unilaterally and without appeal
or even access by the Red Cross
thus skewering itself through the foot
with the dull blade of rusty reasoning.

Let it first make clear accusations
and then prove them. That's all.

Edited by Bognoz, 27 May 2009 - 12:23 AM.

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#123 jaded prol

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Posted 27 May 2009 - 02:47 AM

I have nothing against Marines but there is not a Marine today "protecting my freedom." They are good young men who've been lied to and sucker-punched into illegal wars. They pay the price for the cynical powerplays of our misleaders.

Our government admits that there are prisoners in Gitmo that are wrongly held, and who should never have been there -- unfortunately some, like Uighurs are difficult to find a place for. Rounding people up and mistreating them for years in violation of international laws to which we are committed signatories is not only a violation of international law, it is a violation of what we as a nation are supposed to stand for. As for bringing prisoners found guilty of crimes to "civilian facilities," our lockdown supermax prisons are inescapable hellholes and putting anyone there does not endanger us. Broadly defining a class of enemy with a term like "terrorist" and denying them any legal status or rights is the kind of thing that we expect from dictatorships, not from civilized states. You, I, or anyone else can be labeled and disappeared under the system that Cheney and Bush instituted. As for blowing shit up, if plotting mass murder in urban civilian areas is terrorism, than Bush, Cheney and others are guilty. Under their authority far more innocent civilians have been slaughtered than the 3,000 a few nut-case zealots killed in 2001. They blatantly lied to Congress and attacked a country under false pretenses. That is the ultimate crime yet they are free while many languish in our gulags or are "renditioned" to hellholes on hearsay evidence.

And it continues under Obama so cheer on . . .
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#124 Kirk

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Posted 27 May 2009 - 03:34 AM

Baghdad was a modern city the size of LA . It was populated by working people just like you and me , the largest majority of them women and children , the unemployment rate was lower than our own . It was ruled by a man we put in power . We did not have to destroy the infra structure, but we did even though our enemy was not living there . When the power and water go down in a city that size it is very hard to get it back up , near impossible , we knew that . Take this statement and substitute the name Baghdad for a dozen other population centers that we played with and then destroyed , leaving women and children to flee to the mountains and deserts where they starve and die of exposure.
They hate us , the last thing we need to do is act like terrorists . The rule of law , both civilian and other relies on the people to support and follow it . When we start out by breaking this rule under the color of law we undermine everything we supposedly stand for . The sooner they bring charges against Bush , Cheney and the others , the sooner this country will heal.

Damn , I forgot the punch line .
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#125 Crosby

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Posted 27 May 2009 - 10:47 PM

...™

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#126 Crosby

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Posted 07 June 2009 - 07:21 PM

...™

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  • Attached File  hil.jpg   36.03K   0 downloads

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#127 Crosby

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Posted 16 July 2009 - 02:20 PM

Da Prez likes big butts.

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#128 louchefabrik

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Posted 16 July 2009 - 07:24 PM

A bit a junk in da trunk!
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#129 Wild Bill Turkey

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Posted 17 July 2009 - 05:28 PM

Sarkozy may have been smirking at Da Prez in that picture, butt he's just more of a hands-on president...

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Edited by Wild Bill Turkey, 17 July 2009 - 05:45 PM.

It's all fun and games until someone loses an eye. Then it's just fun.

#130 Crosby

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Posted 19 July 2009 - 10:09 PM

I don't wanna play.

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#131 Kirk

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Posted 20 July 2009 - 06:35 AM

What, no land mines, crackers and nukes?
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#132 Crosby

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Posted 23 July 2009 - 10:55 PM

http://www.youtube.c...feature=related
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#133 Crosby

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Posted 25 July 2009 - 11:22 AM

...™

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#134 Crosby

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Posted 25 July 2009 - 11:30 AM

:yes:

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#135 louchefabrik

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Posted 28 July 2009 - 06:39 PM

A double AMEN,Cros!
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