See below.

DG

Huh?

DAMMIT!

I can't figure out how to post code.

Go Here. I was Emeril.

DG

Shit.. so was I!

Damn!

I thought for sure I was going to be Al Roker.

DG

SARA MOULTON.

MARIO BATALI

You are ALTON BROWN, host of "Good Eats"! Geeky and quirky, a former indie film director turned foodie, you seek to put science to work for you in your kitchen. You concentrate on proper technique, and understanding why it works. You also take pride in using your clever wit to debunk popular (read: INCORRECT) thought about cooking. Youre just a little bit of a pedagogue, but thats cool, you know what the hell youre doing.

SARA MOULTON.

Guess I'd like to fuck my cute, little, buck
toothed self, then.

Then go fuck yourself.

Too easy of a set up.

DG

i got sara moulton too.

louchie can fuck me.

I'm Sarah Moulton too.

I'm fucking pissed Jacques Pépin isn't on there, he's my favourite.

Looks like I'm with the penguin.

I am also this Sarah person, though I have no idea what that means. I do not cook and do not know who any of these people are, so answering questions was slightly based on the point-n-click method.

i wanted to be an IRON CHEF.

fuck yeah, bitch!

ta dow!

You are JAMIE OLIVER, host of "The Naked Chef"! Youre all about the simple things, including dressing things down and not hiding the taste of your food in heavy sauces or spices. You have a slight cult following among anglophiles and gay men, not seen since Two Fat Ladies! Very laid back and easy going, you take pride in not letting things get to you. Cool and Confident. Youre so cool you make other people sick.

I've actually watched this guy's show.

Sorry about that.

Too bad they didn't have my favorite chef.

Should I be worried if it came up with Hannibal Lecter?

I probably would have gotten that one.



(edit: oops...reply to Shirt Boy's post...although Snakehead's makes sense too...depending on my mood)

I'm not -- I'm basking in the associational glow of a future Paleopathologist PhD. I never got a PhD -- the industry pried my not yet cold, dead fingers from research after two years.

I almost made it to High School.

I'm just glad they have takeout containers and microwaves.

I do open the cans of food for the dog.

I make it to high school often.
Gotta date.

EMERIL LEGASSE

BAM!

Pow!

I ended up as the Sarah Moulton character too. A lot of those here. Hhhmmm.

I'm Alton Brown, too.

Alton Brown is fun to watch, but I can't imagine ever cooking like that. He is just way, way too compulsive. The way he overanalyzises everything is interesting, but in some ways, it would get old. I feel sorry for his wife.

I'm sure you should feel sorry for my wife, too, when I'm in the kitchen.

I feel sorry for Alton's wife, analyzing everything, when he isn't in the kitchen. For example, in the bedroom.

Alton: Dear, you aren't maintaining the proper 67 degree angle from leg to torso that would provide the optimal environment for my penetration in this particular position.

Wife: Sorry, honey.

Alton: And it does not feel like you used the correctly-measured amount of water-soluble lubricant to combine with our natural bodily secretions and make an emulsion of the appropriate consistency to minimize chafing.

As for you and your wife in your own kitchen, I actually have no opinion.

I see. He probably has a flipchart in his bedroom on which to draw diagrams. I don't.

[Pre-emptive strike: no -- I don't use a WiFi-connected laptop PC or Palm either for that purpose]

There's something geeky I wanted to say about water-soluble lubricants and something I mentioned in another thread, but I'm feeling lenient today, so I'll spare you all.

On the other hand, "geeky comments about water-soluble lubricants" has potential as a Ladies Room topic.

She makes a fine point, Six.

Oh sure -- as if I was going to start a thread in there.

Besides, 't was merely a musing about in which settings you would be using water-soluble vs. more efficient lubricants given the participants' marital status and likely consequences, and how a certain discretion with respect to angular position during foreplay and focus on appropriate issues may have made the use of artificial lubricants wholly unnecessary -- technology for technology's sake is Not My Thing, and not merely when I'm talking about organically grown food.

Now all the others can blame the pair of you for not having been spared wholly of the finer points, though of course they're still spared a technical discussion about hypo-allergenicity of different kinds of lubricants.

Oh, and while I'm at it, and just to prove that "je fais gaffe, putain": get your apostrophes right in the Ladies' Room.

Ha!

Let me translate a portion of Sixela's comment for the masses:

"Iff'n you git down ta bidness right, you ain't need no KY."

A sentiment which I actually agree with.

Did Six just call me a ho' for failing to use the plural possessive?

Sure sounded that way.

Fetch me some butter and a club!

Holy ornithoids, Abby!

Butter's a lipid and a potential allergen!

Melted or chilled?

(perhaps movie theater butter is in order)

No, no -- it's used as an *interjection* here, and isn't addressing you.

Third meaning in this entry.

If you had PTFA, you'd know that it's only the "F" in PTFA¹ -- in that more common sense, most dictionaries translate it into "goddamn" or "bloody" if it's an adjective, or "bloody hell" as an interjection.

In parts of France, the use of "putain" in common speech is so entrenched that when people mean ho', they always use the shorter "pute".

--
¹I mean -- I could hardly translate PTFA to "Fais gaffe, sacrebleu/diantre/ventre saint gris/peste/cornedieu/diantre/mordious". Doesn't have that twang.

Awww. I had just finished clarifying the butter when you came along and clarified the banter. Ghee wiz.

That's what I get for relying on the Berlitz pocket dictionary (putain).

That, of course, leaves us with another burning question: does clarifying butter change its allergenic properties?

*puts gun in mouth*

Success -- oh wait: he hasn't pulled the trigger yet.

Ha! again.

Surely you meant to post an image with the penguin in the soup?