:: *patting thigh* "You think this is my leg?"
:: "My face leaves in 10 minutes...be on it."

Points at you-
"At least I'm not him."

*notices that the Mayor is in front of a mirror*

*noticing Bater sneaking up behind him
in a thong w/a tube of KY*

*noticing it's time for me to leave this thread ....

DG

now that was funny

eh, not really.

no

but at least it didn't waste any more bandwidth than a lot of the useless xit on here.

no

no?

DG

yep.

for the past six months or so, ever since my 10 year high school reunion, my favorite has been "i had the biggest crush on you in high school"

convincing women that are ~10 yrs my junior that i am not shitting them is the best part of it...
--
sancho

Welcome back, Sancho. You've been missed.

DG

Good to see you, ya crazy Mexican bastard!!!

My best line with the hispanic ladies is "Tu tengas dollares americanas?"

Usually works on the hookers south of the border. Don't know about any of the gal's with any sense of decency, though.

doesn't surprize me one bit.

those were great!

I have a buddy who has the best pick-up 'line'.

He is a tremendously smart fellow. Probably the smartest guy I have ever met. He also HATES clubs, the bar-scene, etc.

One night, we were all planning on hitting this club, and we were trying to get him to come, mostly because we wanted to see him in a new environment. We finally get him to agree to it, drudgingly.

He meets us in front of the club, and he has a book in his hand. I forget which book, but I think it was Sartre. We are all like, 'what do you plan to do with that? You can't read in a club.' His response was 'watch me'.

Within 20 minutes, he had three smokin' hot girls all over him at his little table in the corner asking him what he was reading. Later on, we inquired about it. His response?

'Humans hate to think that someone can be interested in something other then them, especially in a social setting. By me choosing to just sit off alone in a corner and read to myself, I drive people nuts because now people think I know something they don't know. In order for them to be 'in', they got to talk to me.'

He did that a couple times at other clubs after that. Same results. Funny guy.

And that's why you broke down and
bought The Cat in the Hat.

Hee!

It does work.
I read in bars all the time and people will just not leave me alone.
Not that I’m on the make or anything....I'm just sayin' is all.

work on your aim

I've seen this girl knit at the bar. That's pretty hot.

Crochet-less panties?

Hey ... those aren't lace panties .... those are flies!

DG

Ugh.

'Hey hot stuff. I got a big cock. Want to see it?'

That one never worked for me.

Because you couldn't back it up.

He backed it up for me.

did he call you big daddy when he backed that thang up?

That song and 'Ass n' Titties, Ass 'n titties'. . . signs that we are all going to the dogs.



and , and

yeah, but who let the dogs out?

My ex.
He produced that crap.
He has a lot of money.

if he has rights to this:

please give me his contact infomation. i REALLY want the bumper sticker that they used to offer if you bought the cd from the TV ad..

it says "I Brake for Monster Booty".

I'd love to help, but I'm afraid that we're not exactly on speaking terms.

fuck.

nigga can never get a break.

'Da Man' always be kicking a nigga down. Shet!

cept this time it's 'Da Lamb'

hehe!

"Bad 's, bad 's, whatcha gonna do?"

So when she leaves the country, does that mean she's on the lamb?

DG

if there ever was a time for: ba dum bump

that time is upon us.

i went to go see the godfather of all things mod, paul weller , of the JAM, last october, here in chicago,( and yes, i flew up JUST FOR THE SHOW, that's how rock i am!) at the house of blues...

my very rad mom had secured my brother and i very,very VIP status...(unimportant to the story, but still very cool)

we went to eat at the HOB (suckass)restaraunt before the show, and while i was smoking at the bar )and wearing a very mod, very tight dress featuring the union jack flag) this ancient man came over to me and said (i xit you not):

"don't i know you from the Paul Weller website?"

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHA
"uh, nope!'
"are you SURE?"

poor thing, had to go back to his table of ancient old men and hear the xit flying...

and you know, i gave him the benefit of the doubt, and checked out weller's website to see if there was a pic of someone that i even remotely resembled.

NOPE.
poor, dumb bastard.

and that my friends, is the absolute WORST (and yest somehow most hilarious) pick up line i have ever been accosted with.

hey, i was fucking horny.

and i heard english chicks were easy.

no need to be rude.

but you were FAR too old for me, my dahling...
and my teeth are too nice for anyone to mistake me for an english lass!

if you think i'm old, wait till the mayor hits on you.


so are chicks pretending to be english as easy as english chicks?

<------ not too old for ya.

plus he's a fashion photographer.

he can make you famous.

CG, sometimes, you ain't a hald bad guy.

You just want to see more of her, don't ya?

i was being cheeky, not pretending to be english, ya old fart...

Hey, you don't know what yoer missing
dissing us ol' geezers. Heck, you probably think 40 is ancient.