So with all of that talk about Ric Ocasek yesterday, it struck me that I have a number of long-term crushes on some pretty ugly dudes.
To wit:

First and foremost, Shane.

Joey (RIP).

Tom.

Ric.

John.

And my newest favorite, Lyle.

Is there something wrong with me?

I thank God for women like Lambchop.

Without women like her I'd never get laid.

Talent can be attractive (I mean Lovett snagged Julia Roberts for a while, and he sure ain't pretty), but JOHN fricking MADDEN?

John Madden is a football god.

I no likey the sports.

Nothing's wrong with you Lammie!

Or, alternatively, something is very wrong with me, too.

Jean Reno is a hottie.

You wimmins are messed up!

That's because you're thinking like a male.

Womenz be hard-wired different like.

i'm glad Lammy doesn't have a crush on me.

i'm not THAT ugly.

Apparently, that's debatable.

I got a hard-wire for the womenz...

It's inflatable!

that Lammy has a crush on me or that i'm as ugly as those fuckers?

Too easily obtainable!

UgliER than those fuckers.

That's what I was gonna say!
Quit stealing my thunder.

"Known for his trademark four-day growth of stubble, oblong face and mournful, magnetic eyes. "

You mean Janet Reno?

you just lost your chance at a good lay, mister.

Go here!

Well, add me to the list of screwed up wimmins.

Even thinking back to fifth grade, my first crush was an artist.

Since then, it's been songwriters, musicians, writers, photographers, painters, sculpters, etc. I draw the line at poets, though.

And only a handful have been attractive in any conventional sort of way.

Ladies, I'm with you all the way (except for John Madden--sorry Lammie).

Yes -- I'm sure Mr. Lovett liked Julia Roberts for her talent .

At what, may I ask?

A horse is a horse, of course of cource...

Too bad. . .

I suspect engineers are so remote they wouldn't even see you nor the darn line you just drew.

Especially if you have a house with things in constant need of fixing, or a computer device, they *can* come in handy, you know. Just be sure to buy some earplugs, and make sure the ejection seat is fully functional.

The word is Julia likes to be broken down like a shotgun, and then breech loaded.

I'd pump a few slugs in.

Nothing against engineers, Six. That would be my father.
So I spent enough time watching that I can fix stuff myself. In fact, now that I think about it, I've never dated a man who could fix a damned thing. I'm comfortable with electronics, appliances, cars, etc. I just don't deal well with wiring and plumbing.

I can handle the plumbing, and I'm usually wired.

Ha!

I've been told I'm wired incorrectly.

Funny.
I've heard that one many times too.

You likey this guy?

Where did you find that picture of Dr.O?

Yammering, nattering nutjob? I thought that was Butty without her wig!

DG

Um, no.
That's him if Butty turns around and grabs
her ankles.

Jeeze .... that's a visual I just didn't need this early in the AM.

DG

Blame your parents. Typical -- they never seem to RTFM.

They may have wired her wrong, but
the framing they did is nice.

How's this for wiring?

Mother is flaky artist / writer. Messy, disorganized, flighty.
Father is anal retentive engineer.

I am equal parts. So my house is a mess but my CDs are in alphabetical order (multiple CDs by same artist organized by release date).

Add in that I'm left-handed. And born in the South.

Somewhere, a rubber room is awaiting my arrival.

Hey...me too!

But if they're wired wrong, it's hard to know which buttons to push.

Unless, of course, you're someone who swears in learning by experience.