The past is a specter , propped up to scare little children.
It does not exist yet it haunts the minds of catholics and fools.

whew, I though it was my memory that was on the fritz!

I'd take as many of da bastids with me as I could -- fortuantely I prefer to live as long as I can pay the rent.

I just took a death test earlier today that someone forwarded to me.
Found out I'm gonna go on May 9, 2037. Which is good because my driver's license expires the following year, so that'll save me a trip to the DMV.

http://test.thespark.com/deathtest/

March 18, 2049

January 2, 2036 at the age of 76 years old.

Naw ... that's only gonna be middle age for me.

DG

September 17, 2035.
Smoke an extra ciggybutt/day, Abby, and
we can check out together.

I can't afford an extra cigarette / day.

Hmmm. Not bad. I should live another 21 years. I'll most likely die of either cancer or a heart attack (like that is difficult to guess now days).

Oh well. I'll probably forget by then that I'm supposed to die on March 1, 2025.

Keep your eyes on the curb.
Just make sure you wipe the filter on
your pant leg. That will sterilize
anything.

Very few people know that denim has antibiotic properties.

That, and mother's spit.

Mark your calendar or Palm V. You can expect to die on:


December 10, 2147
at the age of 176 years old.


On that date you will most likely die from:

Auto-Erotic Asphyxiation (45%)
Alien Abduction (12%)
Horrible Accident (7%)



Interesting stats from the DeathTest:


15897189 people have taken the DeathTest.
Of those, 55% were female and 45% were male.
The average life expectancy of test takers is 67 years.
10% of test takers have hairy nipples.
4% have had team sex.
8% work in the porn business.
And 325355 people claim to have leprosy.

Feh.

Oh, I can't stand the guilt. It really said:

Mark your calendar or Palm V. You can expect to die on:


December 10, 2047
at the age of 76 years old.


On that date you will most likely die from:

Cancer (23%)
Heart Attack (19%)
Alien Abduction (12%)
Horrible Accident (7%)
Auto-Erotic Asphyxiation (5%)

We won't feel bad if you hurry things up.

I'll be bringing some aliens to abduct you, Mayor.

My second most likely cause of death was homicide.
Tied for last place were lonliness and alien abduction.

Make sure they probe me 1st.

September 20, 2026
at the age of 54 years old.

September 26 2029 -- older than I thought I'd get. . .

Mark your calendar or Palm V. You can expect to die on:


May 22, 2026
at the age of 63 years old.


On that date you will most likely die from:

Cancer (40%)
Heart Attack (17%)
Drowning (7%)
Alien Abduction (7%)

Funny, mine said I would die from a punch in the crotch ....

DG

November 27, 2040
at the age of 69 years old.

On that date you will most likely die from:

Horrible Accident (23%)


The horrible accident doesn't surprise me in the least. My alleged longevity does.

But is the date of death July 17, 2004?

Yup (-ish).

I can't prove the present
let alone anthing else.

Not a quote, just me.

Gee, Kirk, thanks for bashing Catholics.
Here, have one on me....

(that prompted the -ish part)

Speaking of religion, and trying to
move on, are there any Cobain shrines
on the agenda for LCLF?

March 15 2030 at age 64.

On that date you will most likely die from:

Being pummeled to death by the breasts of 20 Hooters girls (19%)
Drowning in a vat of beer (16%)
Having testicles caught in an escalator. (11%)
Having spleen sucked out through the penis in a freak blow job accident (6%)
Struck down by the Lord for making up quiz results (5%)

They're comin' for ya, SpongeBob!

I already feel as if I'm floating into the light.

Rimmer- This is not a lighthearted question.

Yeah, what he said

September 23, 2036
at the age of 61 years old.

I was actually hoping to go a lot sooner than that...

August 3, 2026
at the age of 50 years old.

My wife says it is OK though.

I'm already dead...

No, I've got a few years left. Although I doubt I'll make it that long.

"September 6, 2038
at the age of 69 years old.


On that date you will most likely die from:

Cancer (24%)
Electrolysis (10%)
Alien Abduction (10%)
Alcoholism (8%)
Heart Attack (5%)
Third Degree Burns (5%)
"

Mine said I'd be pummeled by huge
knockers while loofas lambaste loudly.

March 18, 2049
at the age of 82 years old.

It said "Heart Attack" - what on *earth* are we going to be arguing about (violently, I guess)?

Sorry , I meant that in the generic sense as in all Ethno, Politico or Religious groups who dwell on a made up pantheon of the past while wallowing in there own guilt.
I realized this morning there is a past, I woke up and observed tilled soil.
I like Catholics.

?

I wonder if making Absinthe counts as making illegal drugs?

Took the test again and got almost the same results. I get to live a month longer.

October 6, 2048
at the age of 74 years old.

Who'd a figgered...

I'm cagey like that, huh?

I believe there is one . . . um . . . at Gasworks Park!

Ah fuck...who gives a xit about Cobain? I don't.

Cobain who?

I've already forgotten.

I'm so sick of hearing about him. The asshat makes music a grand total of 3 years, and by 96, the grunge/alternative that he 'founded' (total joke there too) has disappeared. Some impact.