Oh man oh man!

Christmas in April. Packages from both Digits and DG arrived today.

Of course you already know about the urine sample from Digits, so let me tell you about DG's box of happiness.

The laughs started before I even opened the box. I mean who the hell addresses a cardboard box in ball point pen? Sure enough the monkey scrawled my name and address in black ball point across the front of the box. At least he had the good sense to go over each letter about ten times so it would at least be noticeable to the poor mail carrier.

Opening the box was an adventure. I was half expecting snakes to jump out at me at any time.

Let me take a quick break and show you the first picture of the haul.

Here I am posed with some of my goodies:

I know what you're thinking. No, that's not really me, and yes I do own a Sponge Bob doll.
Fuck you!

First of all check out the "Low Rider" hat on SB's head. I can't imagine the beatings I'm going to take from the serious low rider types who are going to see me wearing that hat out in public. BTW, the hat looks about the same on my huge gigantic head as it does on the SB doll.

Next check out the very cool Pernod glass and La Fee spoon. Also notice that DG provided something to put in the glass. (brown bottle behind the Girl Scout cookies)
I'm drinking the louched absinthe as I type this so if I begin to ramble and start misspelling words, well I hope you'll understand.

Next we have the Girl Scout Cookies. Made with real Girl Scouts and not those imitation scouts from the Philippines.

There are a couple of things that didn't make it into the photo. One is my the cool ass Iron Chefs t-shirt.

Here's a picture of that:
(Yes I know I look like I just jumped off the short bus.)

The other is the cool ass signed poster of Gary Coleman and a signed pic of DG.

Well at least I've got another face to use for photoshoping DG's image encouraging him to come up with that picture of himself in the leatherman's cap.

Well I'm running out of steam, there'll be more about the prizes tomorrow.

i want that iron chef tshirt.

i'll give you a kiss for it!?!?!

Will there be any tongue involved in this kiss, or are we just talking about a quick peck?

depends on what part of the body you want it.

I see experience is a harsh teacher, you've learned well grasshopper.

Um, who exactly will be delivering payment?

Are those Do-Si-Do's?
I'll sell you my grandmother for those.

Yes'm them are Do-Si-Do's.

You're going to have to make a better offer for em though.

I've already got a Grandma.

fuck.

if she's related to you i'm not kissing you anywhere.

keep the shirt.

My, that's quite something for this early hour.

I can almost hear the groans as that image pops up on people's screens.

I could change it. Maybe something a little nicer for in the morning.
I've caused enough pain.

Re: DG's box of happiness

Mucho cool-o. At least now you don't have to worry about retirement.