That's what you get for being such a mysterious bastard. No one knows how to get in touch with you.

Was that Sunday?

Damn it! I've got to go.

More pictures when I get back.

Coming up, the actual LCLF!

Saturday, just before the big event.

(edit: nevermind...)

Ok then. True, I am difficult to find.

But not so mysterious.

That woman you convinced everyone is your wife told me how you paid her to dress you like a straight man and call you her husband.

I know the truth.

I thought I paid you not to say anything!

Hey, the only money that got stuffed into my pockets didn't come from you, sailor.

Who's pants did I stuff a $20 down? Oh....maybe that was Cros.

Wait, that was him dressed as a STRAIGHT man?

Or maybe Trainer.

He wasn't dressed as Trainer, nope.

Only Trainer and lesbian lumberjacks dress like Trainer.

<-- needs a flannel emoticon

I woke up w/$20+ in a pocket.

And that spoon Wogger is holding while
pouring the vintage in my ass Sunday
morning. I hate to see what else was
found in that room.

Why was Wogger pouring vintage in your ass Sunday morning?

Jeez, how do you observe the Sabbath?

Alrighty then, here are the last of my pictures.

Lets start with a group shot of the LCLF.

In case you haven't figured it out by now:
Abby, DG, Skeeter, Dinky, Hiram, Crosby, Jack.
Of course Balzy is on his knees as usual.

Hiram wore some pretty cool boots.

I've heard its good luck to rub a monkey's head.

A nice closeup of DG's Goatee.

If only I could grow hair like that on my balls.

Mmmm Count Chocula makes me hungry.

And now I'm not hungry any more.

Jack is straight? Yeah, fuckin' right!

Trainer came ready for action.

DG is afraid.. Very afraid.

Last but not least, here's what brought us all together.

There are a few other pictures, but these tell the whole story.

It was a weekend that I'll remember till I'm old as the mayor.

I met and wrestled with some fascinating people:

The Mayor, a person who is absolutely fucking nuts, extremely likable if not sometimes a little grouchy. He taught me that everyone who eats food dies.

Abby, she's even hotter than she looks on these pictures. She's incredibly brave and independent. She saved us from a festival of testosterone and crotch punches. She's a hell of a lot of fun to be around and talk to.

DG, he's about the funniest person on this planet. He's also extremely kind and friendly. I haven't known him long but he's already a close friend.

Crosby, what can you say about a guy who brings two different kinds of vintage absinthe to the louchefest? This guy has amazing stamina and packs one hell of a chest punch.

Dinky, I've never met a more metrosexual guy than DrinkSlinger. Dinky is a mess, but he's also extremely good at pissing off drunk women.

Skeeter, strong as an ox, but with a big heart. He's great anytime for a heavy drunken conversation.

Gassy, I never took the time to thank you for all you did in putting on this shindig. Gassy was a friend before all of this and I'm extremely glad I got to meet you in person. You'll never meet a nicer more generous person that our friend Gassy.

Jack, the man is absolutely gay for fennel. Cagey as hell with a great fake ID. What do I know about the guy? Other than that he likes fennel, absolutely nothing.

SPAZ-ASS, He ain't half the fag I thought he was.. Till you get him drunk. Good guy funny as hell and a great kisser.

Verbal Craze, when this guy gets drunk he suddenly becomes Jamaican. It's a little disconcerting, but what the fuck, did you think normal people would fly all the way to Seattle to drink absinthe?

Fluffy, he's just an albino black man. I didn't get to spend as much time as I wanted getting to know him, but there's always LF04.

Hiram, this dude has class. Big boots, coats, cigars. Hiram is a lot like Texas.

Balzy, Holy xit this guy is funny. Get him to tell you a nice hairlip joke the next time you see him. The boy knows how to hold his liquor.. By the ears.

G&C and Green Genes, I barely got to meet you guys. I'm hoping the next time we'll have more time to talk.

Anyone I missed.. I'm sorry but its getting late, I'm sure I missed you but it ain't because I didn't like you. Everyone I met was cool as hell.

I really don't photograph well. I either look like a serial killer or a drunk. Or I don't show up at all.

The Mayor is a great guy. He was a bit clanky and beat to xit, but still up and drinking. Funny enough, we spend a lot of time talking deep xit but at LCLF, it was all party.

AB - Very ballsy. You don't room with the Mayor unless you have a lot of patience. She also has a high tolerance for granulated wheat thins and molestation, but very little for alcohol. My kinda girl!

DG is one of those people that even though I spent a lot of time talking to, it wasn't enough. Funny, awesome shirts, you name it, the shitslinger has it. And, I talked him into sipping Hellboy straight, so he has the right amount of gullibility.

Crosby- One of my two new best friends. You gotta love a guy who gives you respect for throwing him around. And, whenever he was around, I couldn't pick up my own tab to save my life. This man can drink more than anyone I have ever met.

Dinks, a generous soul. He liked me ona cuz the Mayor and Cros switched their chest punches to me when I showed up. I wish I could have spent more time with him, but he was always out for more coffee. Next time...

SpongeBob- The other of my two new best friends. It is amazing what you talk about when you have sober free time. Another generous soul, his gift takes me down a dangerous road... someday some of you might find out why.

Gasspectro - He's great. Very generous, very nice and he knows more about absinthe than I could hope to know. He has some very valuable antiques, and was nice about showing them off. He had something up his sleeve, though... I know senses of humor, and he was up to something.

Jack and Fluffy get the same line, as I know both of them in RL. Generous, knowedgable, and straight. I can hope to repay them, but both stay one up on me in terms of niceness, so I have to try harder.

Same with Hiram and G&C. Hiram and I had one of the only deep conversations I know about at LCLF, only broken up by plans to make CG squirm and need for more alcohol. G&C just is a great guy.

Balz might be moving to my proverbial neck of the woods (crossed fingers) so I hope to experience many more drunken jokes. And, he beat the Mayor for passing out, so Ballzout is gone forever. Of course, the Mayor started drinking two days before Balz did, but that doesn't count.

Trainer was a funny funny guy, who is NOT afraid to tell you about his nightlife. Not for the faint of heart, is that. I'll take the danger of more kisses on the cheek to drink with him again.

:PTFA:

Spucky can't even get the most famous Engrish aphorism right, not even after several unsuccessful attempts at correcting him.


--
All your grammar and spelling are belong to us.

I have that special gift with all women, be they drunk or sober.

Though I would probably have managed to avoid being bitten -- with all the practice (and having had a cat at home for 24 years), I usually bail off before I am scratched or bitten.

hey, thanks for posting all those pictures! nice to put faces to the names!
someday, hopefully, i will mysteriously appear at one of these shin-digs...

mr. mayor, did i miss the story about how you got the shiner?
it better be a good one!

It's really, sad I really don't remember this, only vaguely. It is something I do sometimes though, speak patwa, especially when I'm sauce. That whole last 4 hours of the party were a blur to me. This was the first time I've gotten so drunk that I can't remember xit. It was just some complete stream of conciousness xit going on. I wish I could have spent more time getting to know all of you, but with all that fine absinthe I couldn't controll myself. Now you know where I get the name from, Verbal Kraze, cuz I'll just keep talking some Crazy xit once I get started. Ya'll didn't even get to hear me rap, and I wanted to give ya'll some CD's. Oh well one of these days

Um..I did.

Your wife made you do it. It's one on the two or three things I actually remember (because I was only on my first drink).

Oh yeah, I kind of remember that now, was it in Spanish or English, the real ones are much better.

If anyone has a fast connection, peep my site sometime

www.cavernmen.com

Ya'll can hear me rap, mine's the second verse on the song playing in the background.

Spanish

Cool!

I have no speakers at work though!
Damn, I want to listen to it.

Who was the person with the dog on his face? Was that Zman?

I thought you already met him? Of course it is!

Yes it does.

And it has a namesake dedicated to prepetuate its fond memory once it finally disappears into the East.

An excellent opportunity to post a few pics of a very modest sponsor of LCLF - just to show you that the infant garment is proudly worn:

That kid looks alot like the Felix I met at LCLF.

Just one more.

Note the hair colour that matches the blue label much better than the black hair of the official Félix on the label.

Note shape of drink container.

wow, i didn't know your kid was from the Land of Bogs!

reddish hair and drinking while still in diapers....

Félix with the Félix!

Love the cup!
Looks like he's having eye-openers.

What an adorable kid!
Not at all creepy.

until he starts speaking in elvish and correcting your english.

I think you mean "patois".

True, I do believe that is the correct spelling, although I have seen it spelled both ways