My hydrangea.
Had to cut it to the ground last year, so
no bloomage. This year, the xit is
fluorescent.

Stop pissing in the flower bed.

That's a Pay Per View.
Wanna add to our kid's college kitty?

College? Ha!
He'll be lucky if he's sober enough to show up for his first day of grammar school.

Lil' Louchie Abby Henricks.
Poor fuck.

With a name like that he's gonna come home from school with 2 black eyes everyday.

Home school.
He'll get all the edumacation he needs right here.

Yeah that'll help him develop normal socialization skills.

His only contact with others is via the internet, or when mommie and daddie have all their drunken-freaky friends over for a blowout.

Perhaps you should add Manson into his name somewhere.

He won't have the motivation or organizational skills to become dangerous.

But he could have dangerous levels of unmotivation and disorganization... he could pass these genes on to his children (assuming he's motivated enough to have sex, or attractive enough to propagate in methods other than sperm donation or the accidental hot tub fertilization).

His genes could muddy the waters for the human race. We could, within several dozen generations, become exctinct.

OH MY GOD NO!

You guys can't have a child. For the sake of the entire human civilization.

DON'T FUCK!

Ewwwww.
Besides...it's a test tube baby.

And don't worry, if it's too fucked up, I'll take my lesson from the Spartans.

I thought it was an ice-cube tray baby?

He'll probably just grow up to be gay.

I thought it was a turkey-baster baby.

The cute little baster'd

(or Bundy, or Gacey, or Gein, or.......)

Hell - add them all!

My Forensic Anthro professor's first case was Ed Gein.
My first case was a puppy.
Might explain why I'm playing the part of a desk jockey right now.

Absolutely fuckin'

Killing animals is pathetic,
at least fight with an equal (human) and off them.
Animals,......I can't speak.........

Yep.
Pretty much how I felt.

Dude, haven't you seen pictures of people from the south, Appalachia, or the Adirondacks?

Butt fucking UGLY people still have kids.

I cannot post the response I would like to for that last post becuase I am at work. Dammit.

It's the Homicidal Triad.

Animal mutilation & torture
Bed wetting
Fire Starting


A few years ago, the Humane Society had an educational poster out. It was a picture of a kitten. Above was the question: How does a serial killer hone his craft? Below was the response: Practice, practice, practice.

Not at all. A perfectly specialized (and efficient) gene pool is what could make us extinct (given changing conditions that would require evolution). In a gene pool, you want diversity.

Shaddup. It was a joke.

Jeesh

The theory was about as plausable as incourse between the Mayor and A.B.

I think incourse is generally implausable.

Whatever the fuck it is.

And for that, we thank you as well.

I aim to please.

Next time, please aim.

But do we want perversity?

I disected a worm and a frog in high school Biology class.

. . . and one time, at band camp . . .

I enjoyed the fetal pig dissection the most.

Their anatomy is very close to a human's in layout...

At least that's what Bill the Butcher said.

Hydrangia colors are dependent on soil pH.

Quit pissing on it.

Hee! That's likely the problem, actually.

I've heard that putting pennies on the soil at the base of an hydrangea can change the flowers' color.

[Ugh -- never mind. Too much Jade- the only REAL Burnt™ absinthe VS.]

HA!

My wife fertilized her blue hydrangea while it was in bloom and the flowers turned bright red.

Do I dare ask what she used to fertilize it with?

Commercially made, organic, liquid fertilizer.

She dumped Spanish absinthe on it, didn't she?

I doubt most absentas are organic.

Serpis is. Beetlejuice!

I kept noticing blue discolorations in the lawn, couldn't figure it out till I saw the dog drinking out of the toilet -- Damned that 2000 Flushes!

I bet her fertilizer is organic though.