I was listening to Fiona Apple's first CD this monring and heard her sing "Darling, give me your absinthe tonight."

Oh wait.... I think she really said "absence." Oh well, but I can change it to absinthe when I sing along in the car.

I'm trying to imagine Fiona as the Green Fairy, but DAMN, that girl needs to be force-fed a sandwich or twelve!

Fiona....

nothing new since.... 1999

When will all that waiting end

When she turns 21?

That happened in 1998...

well, ya ain't fiona apple, and if ya ain't fiona apple i don't give a rat's ass.

she's such a hot piece of lolita ass.

i felt so dirty whilst masturbating to that "i put coins in my front yard to attract children" video.

Same bro. Same.


I don't care that she is over 18. She looks 13, and that is good enough for me.

That 'Criminal' video gets me up every time.

It is when she does an interview that I get all limp. Bitch needs to shut up and look sexy.

that goes for all women.


that and getting their ass in the kitchen and making me a sandwich.

Fiona Apple and
anal rape?

Roll 'er over
rover.

not so much roll as flip like a flap jack.

I'd like to give her a good fonzing.

ayyyyy ayyyyyy capn.

i'd let her hump my shark and eat the little man in the boat.

Fonzing

does it have to be thumbs?

i like to do the old caravan.

2 in the front,

5 in the rear

If it's not thumbs, it's not fonzing.

My word, I make the rules.

Isn't caravaning
about the togetherness?

the gyps thought so.

the rest get gypped.

Is Henry Winkler aware of this?

He may have played The Fonz, but "fonzing" as a word is my creation.

I'll let you ponder what a "fonzie sniff" is all about.

FiFi?
No, Liza.

Rim: Do you spout, "Aaaaaaay!" while you're doing it?

He spouts
just thinking
about it.

Please, please do not inform me of how you are aware of this. The mental image itself is damage sufficient.