Thank you ma'am, may I have another!

I was on the phone with Louchie into the wee hours.
Then Sponge Bob conferenced in.
Needless to say, I hardly slept a wink after that.

Nightmares?

Yep.
Sponge Bob laughs like this:
"Hee, hee, heeeeee!"
He said nice things about the Mayor
and said I had a pleasant voice.
"Hee, hee, heeeeee!"
I've been wearing extra insulation
on my spine ever since.

If you ever need to shut him up, just say "boobies!"
He'll calm down and sit in quiet awe for several minutes.

He's a lying sack of shit then.

That was my first tip-off.
I didn't realize Abby's got the feller
trained like a German shepherd, though.
Look out for her.

Just remember the magic word: "BOOBIES!!!"

Speaking of which, last night I had a sex dream about Ann Coulter (getting back on topic).

She was a dirty girl.

That's just wrong!

"Braaaaaaaiiiiiiins!!! Urghhhhh."

Fost Puckers!

I was impregnated with and gave birth to a clone of myself. However, I grew up to be an asshole and decided to kill the clone of myself.

Problem was, would it be murder?

I'd only be killing me, right?

Or, would it be suicide?

But, I'd still be alive.




One day I'll populate the world with me! (insert evil laugh here)

Now I understand that pizza-loving abortionist avatar.

And all this time I thought my avatar was the tooth fairy.

Yikes - all this time, I thought it was Kali.....

Funny, so did I.

Koko?

My ape will turn you on.

I'm a sucker for those beady, little simian bedroom eyes.

Or will he turn on you?

Only the ape knows.

Don't make greeneyes spank yer monkey.

She will, ya know.

That would be immoral. She's my sister.

God I hate that chick. If she only knew 10% of what she said she might not be totally stupid.

Kinda like someone else around here.

Just one? That's a dubious honor, even directed at me!

I see you as Hecate.

Can someone ban AssHat for quoting the post above his?
Please?

I’ve administered the standard two-week mayoral bitch-slap. Enjoy!

I'm so glad I could be a part of it.

Last night I dreamed that Abby gave me her dog.
I felt bad taking him, but she insisted.

That would be a nightmare for most people.

Yeah, but it was a pleasant dream.
I guess a lot of things I enjoy would be nightmares for most.
Your hair looked great.

Aw, thanks.
As long as I didn't look too butch.

Thanks Peeps for posting a dream.

I've been having lots of dreams lately, I just can't remember them once I wake up. Nothing that has to do with absinthe lately though. I thought I was dreaming when I got a phone call the other night and there were many Loungers on the other end of the phone. Then I called one of them back and it turns out it had really happened. Although he wasn't that coherent when I made the return call at 01:30.

Who was that?

Someone who was very unintelligible and slurred. I think I made a promise to take a trip on the 15th though and you're going with me.

Oh xit.

No xit.

Excellent!

I probably shouldn't put this where Loogie will see it, but there was a general expression of liking for him when he got off of the phone. Loogie's good people.

You Eastcoasters are so inbred...

But I mean that in a GOOD way!

He certainly is.

And fast people, too.
Despite my inherent trust in him, my cheeks were clenched the whole way to the airport from A-Town.

Now that I have you all fooled into believing that I am a good person I can start my world domination conquest. Muahhahahahahahahahah!

(Oh, and thanks.)