Well???

It's as if you fucks have lives or something.

that's a start...

I can't deal with the outside world on Fridays.
Too crowded.
So I'm in here every Friday like clockwork.
But I rarely have anything interesting to say.

So I'll leave you with an obscure thought to ponder:
Female hyenas have a pseudopenis.

Run with it.

no woder the males always laugh. Damn hermaphrodites.

I didn't know CG was a female hyena.

'splains a lot.

Look, I'm running out to get more wine (for my children).
This place had better be hoppin' when I get back.

Yeah, me and Smuttttttttty will turn it into a regular orgy of . . . um . . . posting.

Mommy???

I did'nt just satisfy him, I rectum!!!

Ow.

Can I get some lube with that?

Get a room.

Saliva?

Only if YOU'RE on the bottom.

How about some Wet?

There's a certain point at which I no longer understand the sexual innuendos.
Is it me, or is it Trainer?

Wet is a brand of lube.

Silly Abby!!!

I'm typin' one-eyed.
Gimme a break.

Alright, ya bunch of dirty cock-lickers, where are ya? Hell, it's only midnight MST (mountain standard time, same as Abby and Trainer, if memory serves me right).

OK, serious question. In charge of the male parental gift this year, 60, divorced, retired farmer, doesn't need any tools, etc, giving a gift(s) of ~$150. No clue of size, so clothes out of the question. What the fuck? Any clues? Why couldn't have I gotten my mom! Also lives in rural area and only makes it close to big stores 1-2 times per year, so gift card almost out of the question.

Any help? Anyone? Anyone?

What about a Home Depot giftcard?
Or Lowes?
Those kick ass.
And I'm only partly handy.

From what you describe, I'm thinking a $150 gift card to the nearest liquor store would last him a couple of months . . . I'm guessing he doesn't have the taste for $130/L absinthe that we do.

You could always call him up and ask what he might like. If you're not close enough to know his hobbies and interests, you're not likely gonna be able to pick up anything MEANINGFUL, and so might as well just ask.




But seriously . . . Booze usually wins. Get him a case of JD and a hooker.

I'm mostly handy.

I'm married.

Mostly handy?

You could say you were trying to get info for someone else in your family who pulled his name.

Retired farmer, lives in a rural area...


Why don't you buy him a still and get him making some HG for ya?

No hobbies, no interests, at least since he sold the farm. Now he works as a Salesman for a local dealership, and that's not much of an interest for him ... just a way to make some bucks and fill time. To boot he doesn't drink much anymore. But the hooker .... I think you may be onto something there!


A still could prove to be the hobby he's been needing. COPPER, I NEED COPPER, QUICK!