I was doing nothing at work and somehow found myself here.

If you rearrange the letters in Jade- the only REAL Burnt™ absinthe Verte Suisse, you get:
Jesus! I've Ned arse!

If you do the same with The Mayor of Absinthetown, you get:
I'm of the hero's bonny twat.

My full name results in:
Grand and loyal homo,
among various other horrible anagrams which involve the word "anal."

My full name gives me this:

"Clown ear or mere buggery."

If you rearrange the letters in LouchedLounge you get:

Ogle old eunuch

damn, that shit's amazing!

Sometimes, the best matches (or the funniest) only use 75% or less of the words' letters. My full name nets: "All-out rejects smells" a 76% match.

That's not the number of letters used. That's how good the match is.

For example, LeftCoastLoucheFest can be:

Asshole to cult effect
ET cut Celt asshole off (which would have been more appropriate elsewhere)
or
Face the foullest cost

They all use all the letters but they're all different degrees of appropriate.

I'll say.

1000 pardons Abbie.

I didn't actually read the docs, nor did I count the letters.

That's prolly because you weren't that bored.
And you aren't that anal.

Fuckin' Windows bullshit.

Here's another one.

Wormwood Society = Wow! Erotic sodomy!

As if there was any other kind.

I fired up my dusty old Virtual PC and downloaded the first one. Brilliant stuff.

LCLF:

Cuff Closet, Seattle. Ho!

...