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Some startling new information about everyone's favorite form of stimulation

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It can be startling to realize how much political boundaries have changed. Below is an inset with one of the many spelling differences corrected for modern readers.

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If anyone's interested in a large version of the map, check this shit out.

Holy crap! Really? That's it, I'm switching back to heroin.

Oh, and I always wondered were the fuck Newbians came from.

The things you learn:



Now I know where these were going:

The encyclopedia is from
1877.
My high school yearbook
is signed by Jesus H.
Christ. He was voted
"Most Likely to Get Nailed."

That was a great tome of knowledge.

How 'out Corea, or the Dinosaurs...

More information on how to make herion than anything else.
...and I remember an interesting pic of a still setup.

And to think I wrote that
xit when I was only in my
late 1,000s.

Damn! and I thought my family aged well.

I like the entry on the dodo.

Already gone almost 200 years when the book was written. What a shame; friendly little fellers.

Just hadda house full.

Those were boobies.

?

The other kind.

Abby's kind? Smaller?


haha! Abby! Small boobs! I kill me!


Only at LF's Abby.

Booby.

Keep it in your bra, ape boy.

Or his Bro™ as it were.

There was indeed a very impressive and compelling array of breasticles at LF. Maybe we need a "LoucheFest Mammaries" section.

There was gold in them thar hills.

Oh wait, Smuttty wasn't there.
Nevermind.

That reminds me...
Who left a sippy bottle of chilled piss on the bar?

Who was the unfortunate bastige who discovered said sippy bottle's golden contents?

I think Dinky found it. I just remember him handing it to me, saying,
"This has gotta be piss. Here, smell it."

Fun is fun, but that's fucked up.

I pity the poor bastard who was able to get it in the little sippy bottle.

The scary thing is that it was slightly green. Either whoever did it had had way too much absinthe, or they were trying to louche up a glass with it.

Either way, putting it in a bottle on the bar was wholly unnecessary.

And necessarily unwholesome.

I thought that stuff tasted burnt™.

I've seen my share of urine filled containers.

All I can say to the owner is, "Drink some more water and lay of the vitamins".

Just another example of the decline of this place into fraternity jokes and nonsense.

I mean, gosh, leaving piss bottles is so college.

That bottle was chilled.
Somebody at the Lounge practices urine therapy
and I want to know who.
'Fess up, you, to leaving your custom aquavit lying around.

I think we should make GoldenSippyCup™ da real real mayor of absinthetown.

Aquavit is good shit.

So that was your aqua vitae?

I don't recall urinating at all the entire weekend.

Yeah, so I was stumbling around Alientown and this dude walked up to me and said,
"Wanna buy a bladder?"
I was not in the market for one at the time so I declined.

He didn't happen to have a Safeway bag with him, did he?

Not with him, on him.
He was wearing it like diapers.
I heard the bag crinkle, and I thought I smelled poo.
Even if I was in the market for a bladder, I certainly would not have patronized a man xitting into a Safeway bag.

Geez, I thought you were kidding about "the bottle on the counter." Are you sure it wasn't a donation from Dr. O?

I know nothing about it though the idea of connossiours passing it around and sniffing it like fine wine for opinions is funny in a sick way.


I wouldn't even picture Lars stooping that low.

Hee! Not Lars, no.
Dinky, TBag and hapless me.

Come to think of it, since Dinky renounced the Sharpie pranks this year...

Yeah, I gave the Rabbot his whiskers.
I wanted to draw a circle on either side of his nose, and write the caption

Baggage drop

on his forehead with an arrow pointing to said circles, but he was too fuckin' sweaty.

In retrospect, I suppose I should've Sharpitized him first, then teabagged him.

Okay, I really ed at that one!

>Um, no, yer switchin' to greed, mebbe the greatest drawin' drug
there is.

And Newbians come from ignorance, but you see them as comin'
from an ATM machine.

Cunt ChalkEmUpULa.

Fucker.

Sleep w/my dog and
then breed ill will and
lick your lips at the
beauty of a Fest.

Only to see:
$$$$

Come dance here.
You already sat on
my stove @ the Mini
Mansion.

Come here where it's
really hot.

And thanks,
Anal Rape Prowler.