I get chronic kidney stones. About 2-3 times a year, and I get an attack, and I virtually ALWAYS have a least 2-3 just sitting in my kidneys at any given moment waiting to come out.

Friday was one of those moments (that last for days).

So, I get home from a friends house around 3pm on friday. I walk in the door with a cramp (classic 'early warning sign' of trouble). I sit down, and it gets worse. I get up, go to the bathroom, and pop 3 advil, thinking 'please don't lets this be real. Maybe it is just a false alarm.'

It gets worse, and the cramp starts to start out through my torso, and into my legs and crotch. Not good. So, I shake out 2 Vicodin ES's, and fill a glass of water to gulp down. My gf at this point notices my pale skin, and worried look. She knows the warning signs as good as I do now.

"Hon. . . um, this isn't a real one, is it?'

I am just about to say 'no, i don't think so' when it hits.

Intense, searing, burning, throbbing, stabbing, aching pain. And that is just in my torso. Add to that the feeling of having ones balls squeezed in a vice non-stop. Throw in some nausea, and a helping of dizziness, and you get an idea of what mankind's most intense pain is.

I spent all weekend in the hospital, doped up on Ambrosia (known to you all as Dilaudid, Science's gift to the world), Toradol, and Demeril.

They sent me home to pass the fucker sometime this week, and there the little bastard sits, 2 inches above my bladder. In the mean time, they have never been so generous with the pain pills. I got a veritable smorgasbord of goodies from them. Vicodin Extra Strength's, Oxy-Contin, Toradol (which they only just put in pill form), and Percocets.

Yum, yum, yum. They go great with absinthe. NOW I'm seeing a green fairy!

Bummer about the kidney stones.

At least they hooked you up so you don't feel the pain any more.

Get well quick, man!

Man, that sucks about your kidneys, though at least you got some good painkillers (which will further damage your kidneys) out of it. I had a gallstone once, and that was the most painful thing I've ever felt. I'd rather lose my foot to a hungry escalator than go through that again. You have my sympathies.

My thanksgiving consisted of a visit to the emergency room too:
I was at my aunt's house in Tennessee, and I have an extreme allergy to cats, where I get really bad asthma attacks. Anyway, My aunt has 4 fucking cats, so I'm thinking I'll just take the allergy medicine and my asthma medicine and I'll be OK. WRONG! About 3 hours after thanksgiving dinner, I've taken 12 puffs on my asthma inhaler and it won't work anymore and my lungs just will not hold air. I start getting dizzy and tingly and can barely speak so they drive me to the emergency room, they give me a shot of epinephrine, and I'm eventually OK, though since I can't go back to their place because of the cats, I now have to drive 2 hours to get back to my mom's place at 3 in the morning.

Then I fly back to NYC the next day and we hit the worst turbulence known to man. Everyone was puking, it was like the barf-o-rama in Stand By Me. I barely held my cookies in myself. Then after we finally land, we have to sit on the runway for another hour and a half because all the gates were full and we had nowhere to park the plane.

Moral of the story: Stay the fuck home.

I stayed at home all Thanksgiving weekend without any trips to the hospital. On Thursday, I ate turkey and drank Swizzle LB and Princess of Paranoia #2. Apparently, someone drank my bottle of Mead the day before Thanksgiving.

Jeez you two. I take back what I said earlier about how happy I was that everybody seemed to have a relatively pleasant holiday. I hope you both feel better now.

Thanks Lambchop. I was looking forward to drinking that bottle of Mead on T-Day.

Pork's right. Ironic that the only thing that will kill my pain is further damaging my kidneys, lol!

Thanks Lamb! Ask my on Weds or Thursday though. I am still pretty messed up right now, and the damn stone is still creeping his sinister way down my plumbing.

I can’t say that I truly empathize but I sure as hell sympathize. I watched a significant other (he has since become significantly non-significant) go through it once and it was painful just to see. A female nurse at the hospital told us that she had had two kids and one kidney stone and that she would rather have five more kids than ever have another stone again. That’s pretty fucking bad, if you ask me.

Ow! Poor fellas!

To give some examples of where most people rank a kidney stone on the 'pain scale'.

Most women who have had natural childbirth AND a stone say that the stone hurt worse.

My buddy was shot several times while in the Navy, and had one stone. he said he'd tke 5 bullets at once over one stone.

Doctors and hospitals put it in the highest catagory/grouping for pain that they have, right up there with pancreatic cancer and severe burns. Also, there is no drug that is considered 'too strong' for a kidney stone patient. Basically, if you ask for it and they have it, you'll get it. Morphine, Dilaudid, and other class 3 narcotics are the norm. 'You need more? Not a problem.' is the attitude most hospitals I have been at take.

Oh, and for guys, it is worse two-fold. We have more plumbing, and it is narrower the whole way.

Me 2

A buddy went to the hospital this past week with the same probs. The doctor said: (Squeemish don't read further) "We drained his kidneys and what came out looked like cream of chicken soup".

Damn...what the hell? I shall not want to experience that.

(NOT for the Squeemish)

After various kidney surgeries, I piss out chunks of died blood, tissue, goo, and other assosrted nastiness for a week. The colors range from wine red to black or purple. Lovily stuff. Peeing is a horrible experience during and for a long time after an attack because it burns, itches, and hurts like a motherfucker.

Oh dear.

Try to keep a positive mental attitude.

Think of happy thoughts.

For example, the damage we are all doing to our livers.

Lucky me, about once a year a get *very little stones*. How do I know...hehehe! When you piss one little fucker, believe me you know !

Then I stop drinking mineral water for a while (I buy San Pellegrino by the case !) and after a while it stops. My father got hospitalised for that once or twice, it must be genetic.

Maybe Larspeart should dilute his absinthe with distilled water...

Thankfully, I've never had them. A buddy of mine had one about the size of 2 BBs .... he was in so much pain .... darvocet didn't kill the pain, nothing. Had to do emergency surgery and take the thing out. That was before the newer treatments.

Sorry to hear Lars. Hope you are feeling better.

DG

geeaahh. That sounds like the WORST. I've heard that drinking lots of orange juice can help with kidney stones.

I heard alcohol disolve almost anything... ;-)

It's working on my memory.

What we're we talking about?

DG

Damn Lars, Truly sorry to hear about the deposites.

A buddy of mine gets kidney stones, and from what I've seen of him suffering I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy.

Hope you get over it soon.

Lars: I have had stones for about 20 years. They do get easier to pass as your reins get reamed out over the years.
I have found the cure though, and it's real. Vitamin B complex disolves the stones , it's like a miracle cure.
The worst for me used to be when I would get where I could no longer hold down water, then I'd dehydrate , and you can't pass a stone unless you can drink water. Then I discovered the B , When I feel the stone I start taking them religously. Try it , you won't be sorry. Especialy take them when your eating the bad foods ( high in oxholic acid) Stones are often caused by a lack of calcium ; your body starts to leach it from your bones and this ends up in your kidneys. Calcium with D can help.

Welcome back, Kirk. Nice to see you in here again.

Thanks Mr. professor , it's good to be seen again. It was an errand of mercy that made me post . I hate to see someone suffer like that. This is the first time I've been here in awhile. I really dig the new logo. I remember when aqua posted it I knew that would be the winner.

No logo has been chosen yet.
:PTFA:

Yes ... all the logos are on a rotating schedule. And I'm surprised that no more have been entered.

DG

And I say get some more and keep 'em spinnin'!

I just took 2 VicodinES's, so EVERYTHING is spinning right now.

I feel ill. . .

Lars , I wouldn't lie to you about the B thing The sooner you take it the better. I feel your pain. My doctor told me he calls kidney stones "walking around pain" because you want to move around. I looked at him like he was insane , and told him I call it "blinding white light pain " because you lay on the floor and moan in a blinding white light.

O.K. I see the spoon is not the official logo , sorry rimmy. It is very cool though.

Lars

???


I knwo you are trying to tell me something here. Hell if I can remember what we were talking about though.


Kirk, dude. Seriously. What were you trying to tell me? I can sense it was important.

Norom.