maybe they're screaming in pain.

either way, it's annoying as hell.

I have some blue leather Converse that squeak, and yes... it's annoying.

Especially when it's only one foot that's doing it.

*clop--squeak--clop--pfft--clop--squeak...*

zactly.

I used to have a pair of sandals that made flatulent hissing sounds at random intervals.

Dating shoes!

No, It's my chunky platforms that date me, but I refuse to give them up. Those ones make me sound like a pretty pony: "clop, clop; clop, clop."

and a pretty pony you are sweetie.

At least that explains my affinity for sugar cubes.

What about salt licks?

lick my belly button

Pretty ponies love them a salty lick.

Go salt your own lick, pilgrim.

Gracious. It's a good thing we weren't discussing the mules.

And that gig I had in Tijuana, back in '96.

Fast forward Allentown 2005

Not much has changed.

Sorry, I couldn't resist.
I love you both. Really.

*ducks*

No, no, you're quite right. It's a fair characterization. Except those mules didn't kick as much and had sunnier dispositions. As for El Higado, perhaps he ought to defend my honor, but the very thought of that would give him sheer fits for oh, so many reasons.

Ok, so I tell the Mrs. about this last exchange.

She's laughing because she's thinking "big cock"
And I'm all like "No, no, the joke is about Jackassedness!"
and then I feel all inadequate and she's like "Oh honey!"
So I whimper off to shower myself and reflect on my less
than horse-like anatomy.

Ha! You're both right, of course.

I was wondering how you knew.

An even humorous sidenote:

These man-woman discussions reel out of context and
proportion as they often do and thoughts that don't make
any sense pour forth like milk from an untended teet.

I said "Promoters in the animal sex trade don't use
horses because they're too expensive! That's why they
use Donkeys!"

Which made Kallisti laugh and laugh... Nothing like a woman
laughing at a man ('specially a self-perceived man).

I feel compelled to point out that the common misperception that untended teats are problematic seems to be a uniquely male misapprehension.

If you're still making each other laugh, fair enough for you.

That's irreplaceable.

Cock sizes.

Kallsti was wondering also "how I knew"
I assured her, as I assure you, neither Liver
or I exchanged penis sizes in person or in
"private" by any means, at any time.

To thine own sausage be true!!!

Oh, well. He's fond of you all the same.

What about your visit to the Liberty Bell?

That was all smoke and mirrors. I had
a leatherman dangling from my belt.

was he a midget, or are you really tall?

And I mean !

You little tramp!

All your post are belong to me!