We've done this before but it's been a while.

I'll start.

First: clerk at a Dry Cleaner's
Worst: House cleaner (only slightly worse than my job now)
Best: cocktail waitress/bartender

I draw on the computer, but windex takes care of that.

Worst, working at the the airport, around all those 'planes.

Best, drawing things without a computer, I didn't need windex.

Are your people hiring?

What CAD & rendering programs do you use?

I'd answer that but I have no idea what you're talking about.

Ok, I kinda do, but I don't work with anything but Excel.
Fuck you, you superior bastard!

Can't be that superior if I'm using them.

I wanna be paid to be me.
Not gonna happen.
I can still dream.

I always wanted to be W.C. Fields, only with a redder nose.

So do it.

It's not like me where I don't know what I wanna be.
You know...you just do.

I smell electrical wire burning.
Either I'm having a stroke, or my house is on fire.

And I'm pretty sure I heard clumsy clowns on my roof earlier.
Fucking clowns!

FIRST: Paper route

STRANGEST: Hearse Driver

GOT ME THE MOST GIRLS: Assistant Manager, twin movie theater complex, while still in high-school.

WORST: Everybody's Bitch (aka "in-house illustrator" ) at an advertising agency.

MADE-ME-LOOK-COOLEST : Rock-video storyboard artist

MADE THE MOST MONEY: Painting cutesy-wootsey collector plates

GOT ME THE MOST WOMEN: Motion Picture storyboard artist

MOST SATISFYING: Set Designer

HARDEST I"VE EVER WORKED: Stagehand

I like the " got me the most girls" vs "got me the most women" distinction.

Have you managed to get my foot out of you ass yet?

Once again, ghave you managed to get my foot out of you ass yet?

Duh.

I only wish we could do it together. My fondest wish is to work one on one with guys like you.

First: researching neural networks for robot control, building a parallel raster image processor, and being generally cruel to lab students throughout the year and as "forgiving" as the emperor during exams (they usually got good grades but went through hell for them - does that surprise you?).
Worst: managing 200 PCs thrown on the unsuspecting (and untrained) masses at the Belgian Air Force, and being forced to write entire applications in Excel macros.
Best: installing kewl stuff on supercomputers, and getting freebies like "Nationellt Supercomputerdator" bomber jackets (very warm in winter time, as they come from Scandyfuckyland) or bottles of Tokaji Szamorodni from happy customers.

First: Pulling skeet and trap targets at shooting club

Worst: Dishwasher/janitor at a bakery, those places getting fucking messy, though I got plenty of take home goodies

Best: Working at a brewery, though it's only part-time

First: Framing and sales in an art supply store.

Worst: Too many to mention but ususally involving sweatshop production.

Best: Coordinating a geropsych unit and doing crisis work at a local hospital.


I just applied for a part-time crap gig editing ads.

I've thought about applying for a government grant for ethanol production as they're looking to boost alternative feuls . . .

first - paper route

worst - washing out minifridges & microwaves returned by college students in a non-airconditioned warehouse mid july.

best - working in a convenience store in a college dorm.

1st was 1 week of phone survey when I was 14.
next was 8 weeks of Burger Chef when I was 16.
That pretty much ruined me for employment, except for that 10 days with the circus, The Girl On The Flying Trapeze doubled up as the Fat Lady, and the barker had a mean ssttttssssttttsttststtstudder.
There were 3 more momentary lapses in my sanity where a signed on as a bench jeweler, a steel fabricator in a factory, a labor union member and a while you wait remounter,
the last one was the only one that lasted longer than a few months, but they all liked my work.
So I was employed for about 10 years, I am basicaly un-employable.
When I get my Social Security statement it looks blank.
I plan on working till I die, for myself.

The pay sucks and the company is poorly managed, all the good money is spent.
the boss is a bastard and always catches me laying out
he's my shadow, I can't even call in sick.
I'm always working but I do what I want because I know I won't fire me.
The problem is, nothing I do pays and this world is getting so complex
I now have to spend time doing things for the Government
I just now had to register under the homeland security act or my suppliers were going to cut me off, Bush and his cronies want to monitor any precious metals that I buy, and believe me, it ain't a lot, but it's a lot of paper work for me and a lot of bullshit federal registration numbers cross collated information,
assholes, I'm sick of it, I think I'll become a Gypsy and trade in beads.

That's the best way. I'm pretty unemployabe myself.


Unfortunately writing and publishing poetry isn't as lucrative as other forms of craftsmanship.

My wife, on the other hand, does more lucrative work -- and on rare occaission even sells something.

No. It deosn't.

First job: Dictator of a small Island nation
Worst job: Administrator of an Absinthe Forum
Best job: playing the part "Jack" in the television series "24"

Cros, it really chafs your hide that I work as a stagehand doesn't it? Or is that I also work as a designer? You've met some shitty designers or something and you think you know what I'm all about, right? You've got me pegged as some kind of arrogant asshole or something and you seem to keep forgetting you've never met me. Jeezus. Fook off!

Designers are a bunch of fags.

and your point?

Um, well you are.

Oh, okay. that I can live with.

If you weren't an arrogant asshole, you prolly would never have joined this xithole...

It's like 2 + 2 = 4.

WBT, if you need any helpful hints, I'll be holding a seminar in the chatroom later this evening. "Fucking with der Cros for Dummies."

We'll be covering such topics as buzzwords, button pushing and when to go for the jugular.

Still trying to get lucky in the chat room?

Desired effect achieved.

That can't be true, I've never seen Jack at any of the meetings.

...™

You learn something every day - like the fact there is a word written "deos" in my spelling checker's dictionary.

I disagree, but I can't remove words from the dictionary.

First-Micky D's burger flipper
Worst-Dishwasher in a Mexican place (it wasn't all that bad though)
Best-Garbage Man extrordonaire (you wouldn't believe all the weird shit I see)

Seriously?
No paper route? No busboy?

Haven't you figured it out, yet? 6'er is actually an AI robot created by the Websters Dictionary people, who is currantly being studied at the University of Brussels.

Nice, Cros, you got me.( grumble grumble)
So that was your 5 minutes of work, and you'll be out on the loading dock, chain smoking with the lifers for the rest of the day?

He recently quit the smoking part...

That was the point.

/em, I don't 'get it', neither™...

First: teenage hot-tub attendant.
Best: research assistant.
Worst: account exec. at an ad agengy (worse by a slim margin
than changing the diapers of convalescent people).

Lessons learned: Both diapers and media reps are loaded with the same substance, but the diapers don't lie or want to fuck you.

Mhhhhh...

...given you said the diapers were only worse by a slim margin, which was the positive and which the negative aspect in:

a) lie
b) want to fuck you?

Both are negative, in the case of media reps. The benefit of media reps is that they smell of excessive cologne, rather than — er — diapers. The advertising job also gained points for providing about 1/3 of my salary for posting here.

That makes me wet.

First: chimney sweep, or construction site gopher. I can't remember which I did first. Thinking back, there apparently weren't any child-labor laws in NJ then.

Worst: "Don's Hot Nuts" on the VCU campus. I googled it just to see what came up after all these years....


Best: legal courier.

First - Paper route

Worst - Liason between city of LA & 2000 Democratic convention. Nothing like watching your whole plan go to hell when a bomb sniffing dog gets tired & sits (as in "there is a bomb guys") while checking the presidents limo & protesters are trying to climb the fences.

Best - Advance for the Pope in 1995. Okay, I had to know what it felt like to stand in the Pope Mobile.