Who: Officer Jack fuckin' Batemaster, who else?
What to expect: the last "event" I threw proved to have too much food and about 40+ liters of Black Licorice Tasting Crap™, throw in a bunch of sour beers and much less food and Black Licorice Tasting Crap™
When: I'm hoping sometime at the end of June or beginning of July
Where: prolly the NW
Why: well, you'll really have to kiss my ass this time to make it on the "guest list" (and if you suspect you already ain't on my mental "guest list" - guess what -- you ain't gonna be on the real guest list)...

So it's just gonna be you and Mini-Batemaster?

I ain't kissing no ass.
Never have, never will.

...

I'm just wondering if Jack is renting the same house and hiring the same two actors, that have played him and mini-Batemaster in the past.

I certainly hope so.
That "Jack" is fun.
And the assless leather chaps are a nice touch.

Alright, fuckit. Never mind....

oh, sorry.

i'll be real busy anyway.

You weren't on my mental guest list...

Mental guests?

Mental -- so that wood include yourself, rummy...

It's good of you, Jack. Nobody else has stepped up to the plate, although folks seem to have gotten sort of attached to having a summer hoo-hoo.

Well, first of all - I need a host. I can't host it at my house again -- for obvious reasons.

July would be nice later even nicer (If I can scrape up the dough).

If you hold it here, the guests won't have to worry about rushing home after the party.

And I bet there's a nice lawn I can sleep on.

You can have it at my place.

hmmm. Mebbe I will...

Sounds good!

Won't it be too god damn hot and humid there in July? Not very good sour beer drinkin' weather...

and the PNW stays a balmy 54F all year.

It should be in the lower to mid 70s in July. Perfect weather, really...

When does Salmon season open this year?

You looking to spawn?

August 1 through September 30.

Fuck, I only have through mid July for roadtrips.

Maybe not much for salmon, but the crabbing should be pretty good in July. If not anything else, there's always just boatin' and drinkin'.

I'm in, even if Jack won't tell me where his party is.

Anyone up there got a smoker?
Smoking farm-raised Maine salmon (though damn tasty)
just ain't the same.

I'm always excited to get out of the desert come July.
And I have to admit, as much as I'd love to see Casa de Kirk,
the PNW sounds a little more appealing that time of year.

August sounds good too.

Isn't that the name of a woman's private part?

I'll be there. Looking forward to meeting you all.

Oops, yeah. People here are used to summer hoo-has. I picked that up from someone I know who uses "hoo-ha" and "hoo-hoo" interchangeably. Strangely, I had heard neither term berfore meeting her.

Um, no.

Ha!

And I'm with Cros on the Um, no vote for August.
Early July would be best for me.
My June's kinda booked, and Skeet and Goose will be in Vegas with me end of June. And it ain't a Fest without Skeeter.

August is getting close to fall, and I'm hoping to work out something for October in Vegas. I just can't really work on it now because I'm real busy.

Once I'm moved in, I'll get on it.

October in Vegas sounds real good.

Crosby, you are such a

yes, he IS a sexy bitch.

Ahhh, Crosby, I've always pictured you as a cute little furry pup - FOR ME TO POOP ON!!!

(I'm laughing at you, not with you.)

You are free to do as you please. But I know you are laughing WITH me. IF I ALLOW IT.

Ain't we all?

yes, but some of us don't blather on about their fantasy lives and think that they're all that when they're not.

i mean, hey, not me, but some of us.

Eloquent, as always.

If Franks shows up, we'll have to re-name it to: CrotchPunchFest OfOne™.

I notice a thinly veiled attempt at an invitation when I read one.