Things you have to believe to be a Republican today.....



-Jesus loves you, and shares your hatred of homosexuals and Hillary Clinton.



-Saddam was a good guy when Reagan armed him, a bad guy when GWBush's daddy made war on him, a good guy when Cheney did business with him, and a bad guy when Bush needed a "we can't find Bin Laden" diversion.



-Trade with Cuba is wrong because the country is Communist, but trade with China andVietnam is vital to a spirit of international harmony.



-The United States should get out of the United Nations, and our highest national priority is enforcing U.N. resolutions against Iraq .



-A woman can't be trusted with decisions about her own body, but multi-national corporations can make decisions affecting all mankind without regulation.



-The best way to improve military morale is to praise the troops in speeches, while slashing veterans' benefits and combat pay.



-A good way to fight terrorism is to belittle our long-time allies, then demand their cooperation and money.



Global warming and tobacco's link to cancer are junk science, but creationism should be taught in schools.



-A president lying about an extramarital affair is an impeachable offense, but a president lying to enlist support for a war in which thousands die is solid defense policy.



-Government should limit itself to the powers named in the Constitution, which include banning gay marriages and censoring the Internet. [RMc note: And by the way, there are 7 new amendments to the Constitution that Republicans want adopted by the states in order to give new powers to their “limited” government.]



-Being a drug addict is a moral failing and a crime, unless you're a conservative radio host. Then it's an illness and you need our prayers for your recovery.

I see nothing inaccurate in any of those statements, though I do think Republicans now admit tobacco causes cancer.

It seems Republicans are feeling rather inferior these days, and are going on the attack to make up for their inferiority complexes.

An example:

My wife is a public school English teacher, and she has a small button on her bag which says "Somewhere in Texas a Village is Missing Its Idiot" and another button that said "It's not just Bush, it's Capitalism". Last year she got called into her assistant principal's office, because a teacher had complained about her, saying that she might be "indoctrinating her students with Communism" and thought that she should remove her button. Pretty funny since she teaches English, not Economics, and also funny because she has never mentioned "Capitalism" or President Bush in her class. And it's also funny, because even if she DID teach students about Communism, there's nothing wrong with that, just as there's nothing wrong with teaching them about Capitalism. She didn't get into any trouble, but eventually removed the button since she didn't want any more attention of the asshole teacher who complained about her in the first place.

At the beginning of this year, the same faculty member inserted a portrait of Bush between two windowpanes in her classroom, making it very difficult to remove, but after two days and the assistance of a janitor, she got it out. Then two weeks ago she walked into her classroom to find NRA stickers pasted on her door (particularly appropriate in a school where 1 out of every 4 students in the school are in a gang). She found out it was the same teacher who complained about her button, because the school has security cameras and they observed him putting the stickers on her door. She again removed the stickers, never saying a word to the teacher who put them there.

Then today she walked in and found this lovely poster on her door:

Seems that someone she works with need to be replaced for harrasment. It shouldn't be that hard to figure out who it is.

She started a proceeding with the administration today. It's pretty obvious it's harassment, since most of her department is left-leaning, yet none of them had their doors vandalized. It's also pretty obvious who did it, since the security cameras have him on tape. Of course since he's been there 16 years and has tenure, he's unfireable unless he molests a student.

I admire my wife's restraint, she hasn't responded to any of his attacks. I would have went right back to his door after he had left for the day and put this up:

Your wife sounds like a gem. Hope she prevails over the creep.

She is and she will.

She says thanks.

Republican or not, this guy is just an asshole. I'm sure he's real popular among his students....

I do wonder though if he'll cry himself to sleep after seeing the Republican losses on Fox News in a couple of weeks.

The newest terrorist slogan----Cut and Run

This from my dad, whom I respect very much:

"I have watched Bush closely since he was selected by the Supreme Court in late 2000 to be the President of not quite half of the people.


When I witnessed his "Mission Accomplished" speech on the deck of the USS Lincoln, I said, "Not often does one have the opportunity to see a major politician make such a huge political mistake on live TV." It was obvious to all, I thought, that he was making one huge political blunder. Anyone with bat brains knew it was not over by a long shot.. And down through the years, we have all watched as he has made one mistake after another -- never admitting to any, mind you -- and here we are today.


It is obvious Bush does not enjoy the job, never has. He is most uncomfortable in the job. Here is my next prediction: When the Democrats take over the House and/or Senate on November 7, we will soon see very little of Bush. He will be more than a lame duck; he will be absent from Washington. I predict he will spend more and more time on his ranch in Texas and let his underlings and campaign operatives begin to set the table for John McCain to run in '08. Do you need proof? Take a look at the exchange between Bush 43 and Maria Bartiromo this week:



Bartiromo: "I'm curious, have you ever Googled anybody? Do you use Google?"

Bush: "Occasionally. One of the things I've used on the Google is to pull up maps. It's very interesting to see that. I forgot the name of the program, but you get the satellite and you can -- like, I kind of like to look at the ranch on Google, reminds me of where I want to be sometimes."

Correct. That's where he wants to be...and regrettably for all Americans, the president is going to be absent for the last two years of his term if he can get away with it. It is the ultimate example of the little boy who takes his ball and goes home when the other teams refuses to play by his rules.

Good luck to all of us left to clean up his mess!!"

Porkio,

I am also a teacher. I can empathize with your wife on this....a collegue of mine is ex-military and I find avoiding discussions with him about politics is essential to our working relationship.

You can be ex-military and still
free-thinking or liberal.

As an ex-Arizonan, the whole Kevin Tillman rhetoric making headlines these days makes me smile.

"Somehow the more soldiers that die, the more legitimate the illegal invasion becomes"
I'm tired of stupid people stepping up, why do the smart ones always bite their tongue?
We don't mind calling a fool a fool but when it comes time to whirl and twirl we're as mute as stone. The majority of people are idiots and yet, the majority rules.
I take that back, the majority of the people are sheep and the wolves rule.

And the many other creeps just like him.

Fortunately they have no need for a working relationship, since he's on an entirely different floor of the school in the History department teaching different students (in fact probably teaching them erroneous things about History). Which makes one wonder why he's so obsessed with sprinkling his Republican pee on her 10th grade English doorstep.

I'm trying to think of the last time I heard of a Democrat in the workplace repeatedly harrassing a co-worker because they were Republican, and I can't say I've ever heard of that. I'm sure it has happened, being an asshole certainly transcends political boundaries, but I've never heard of it happening.

In other "Republicans are assholes" news, did anybody hear Limbaugh's comments on Michael J. Fox's stem-cell political ad in Missouri?

He said MJ Fox was "exaggerating the effects of the disease. He’s moving all around and shaking and it’s purely an act. … This is really shameless of Michael J. Fox. Either he didn’t take his medication or he’s acting."

Anybody who knows anyone with Parkinson's knows that it's often the medication that CAUSES the tremors, and sufferers of Parkinson's would rather have tremors than be catatonic, so they take their meds, which intermittently cause nasty tremors.

You know, I bet Christopher Reeve was just faking his paralysis in order to get attention for his political causes, I bet he wasn't totally paralyzed, he was just really really lazy.

His handicap is far worse and more obvious.

You say this like it would abe a bad thing. The more he is absent, the less harm he can do.

That applies to all politicians of both parties. I wish they took longer vacations.

We're damned lucky Bush has been on vacation as much as he has. Can you imagine what he would have "accomplished" had he only taken 2 weeks off every year?!?

True that.

Gimpy, Believe me, I will not miss him....It was just said to prove that he can do nothing on his own volition.

Abby, this guy is one of those ex-military kind...I have to pretend I'm at H5 around him.

All milliatary aren't bad.

My dad was career USAF.

I joined the NAVY for four years.

My son is in the USAF (home on leave right now).

'T' Shirt at The Accoustic Coffee House tonight said:

Buck
Fush

I admire her diplomacy and her stones.

I didn't know she had kidney stones! Ouch!

After consulting her Union, it turns out the teacher that is harassing her is not only in violation of school and Union regulations for repeatedly putting political signs on her door, but is also in violation for all the political propaganda signs he has up on his own door and in his classroom, and will likely have to remove his own posters too. Ha!

When does he have to pull his head outta his ass?

Never, that's his constitutional right.

That's right.

No law against being a dumass™.

A cop even told me so.

Please no! That is not a head that should speak in public.

I want him to have all the free speech he can get, cuz every time that pie hole opens, it makes him look more dumberer.

How much dumberer can he look?

There's probably no limits to his dumb index on the dumb-o-meter.

Free speech is always good for jerks like that though, because it's the equivalent of them having to wear a big scarlet A when they go out in public. I thought Rush looked bad enough for making those racist remarks about Donovan McNabb awhile back, getting fired, and then getting busted for illegal use of drugs, but him accusing Michael J. Fox of exaggerating his symptoms makes him look like an even BIGGER asshole, which I didn't think was possible. I love the First Amendment as it helps keep big "stay-the-fuck-away" signs over the heads of idiots.

Some of these xitheads have kids that they influence, like my wife's ex. I have to look at Bush/Heiny bumperstickers on my step kid's door every day.

It's worse than that.

Just be glad he's your STEP-son.

I'm afraid to see that. Hell-House was terrifying enough.

That kid in the trailer has a bad-ass mullet though. It's nice to see he fits the stereotype at such a young age. He's not even old enough to have his minivan with the "Thank God for AIDS" bumper sticker on the back yet.

Thank God for natural selection.

After seeing these fucks are still alive, well and successfully breeding I'm beginning to doubt Natural Selection.

I believe in UD (Unintelligent Design).

Thank whatever I don't live in Missouri (where the move is shot). I saw about a third of it last night at a meeting and most of us peace people were ready to buy guns.

HA! I've always maintained that one day ultra-right wingers might drive me to join the NRA.

While everyone in Missouri may not yet have attained complete and absolute perfection, on behalf of BaaBaaDoc, I would just like to say GO CARDS!

We now return you to your political commentary already in progress.

I wouldn't got that far, though I might have a small arsenal just in case the bastids wanna mix it up.

It sure looks like they're fixing to. The little Jesus warriors are even in cammo!

I love BaaBaaDoc, but I also love the Mets and The Cubs, so alas I'm afraid I'm going to have to root against his team.

As for the Hitler Youth in Missouri in that preview that Prol posted, somebody should really make a bumper sticker that says "Thank God most Christians aren't like the idiots in Jesus Camp".

I don't like religion period, but the only thing that's going to deter those fundamentalist fucks is them being actively shunned by the majority of Christians. If an satan worshipping baby killing heathen like myself bashes them, that will only encourage them more.

I think we should go ahead and send them to Iraq to fight the war of armaggeddon now. Onward Christian Soldiers!

You can bet they are teaching those kids to practiced Christian Abstinance.

Bah. I wouldn't want to fuck any of them anyway.

Butt they want to fuck with you.

I'm pro-choice. I'll just abort them.

Nothing like a good ol' 74th trimester abortion!

"Faith Fucking". HA!




well, then again...

Come on, now. You have to admire the advice to save "penetration with foreign objects" for the second date.

This is the kind of political claptrap Democrats will put an end to when they take over next January:


Congress Tells Auditor in Iraq to Close Office
By JAMES GLANZ
"Investigations led by a Republican lawyer named Stuart W. Bowen Jr. in Iraq have sent American occupation officials to jail on bribery and conspiracy charges, exposed disastrously poor construction work by well-connected companies like Halliburton and Parsons, and discovered that the military did not properly track hundreds of thousands of weapons it shipped to Iraqi security forces.

And tucked away in a huge military authorization bill that President Bush signed two weeks ago is what some of Mr. Bowen’s supporters believe is his reward for repeatedly embarrassing the administration: a pink slip.

The order comes in the form of an obscure provision that terminates his federal oversight agency, the Office of the Special Inspector General for Iraq Reconstruction, on Oct. 1, 2007. The clause was inserted by the Republican side of the House Armed Services Committee over the objections of Democratic counterparts during a closed-door conference, and it has generated surprise and some outrage among lawmakers who say they had no idea it was in the final legislation."

---
Republicans do not want anyone to audit or investigate their spending in Iraq. Every taxpayer in America ought to be outraged by this closed door decision by a few renegade Republicans to punish the guy (a Republican from Texas, by the way) who has pointed out numerous problems in handling YOUR money and YOUR resources in Iraq.


Believe me -- I'm serious about this -- the Cheny, Rummy, Bush cabal is playing the American voter as a fool. If they get away with it -- again -- next Tuesday, it means we have become a banana repoublic -- as Tom Friedman of NYTimes says -- "It means our democracy is in tatters because it is so gerrymandered, so polluted by money, and so divided by professional politicalhacks that we can no longer hold the ruling party to account."

Is it time for the R word?