Full Version: How exactly do i "amuse you"? VI
The Sheepses can rest easy.
I wasn't sure whether to post this in "Tippin' & Typin,"
or in "What are you eating?"
Ultimately, I decided it belonged here.
My friend just brought this to me from the UK:
or in "What are you eating?"
Ultimately, I decided it belonged here.
My friend just brought this to me from the UK:
Gives new meaning to whisky dick.
Not really,
the Scots are so small
one can't tell.
the Scots are so small
one can't tell.
Where's CG when he's needed?
The Lone Ranger was captured by Sitting Bull, and despite the fact that the
Lone Ranger was known for being a righteous man, Sitting Bull was going to
burn him at the stake at a big tribal ceremony.
Three days before the ceremony, Sitting Bull approached the Lone Ranger and
told him that he could have three wishes, one per day, before he was burned
at the stake.
The first day, the Lone Ranger asked to speak with Silver, his horse.
After whispering in Silver's ear, Silver galloped away only to return
several hours later with a beautiful blonde, who spent the night in the Lone
Ranger's teepee.
Sitting Bull was impressed, but the next day he warned the Lone Ranger that
he only had 2 wishes left. The Lone Ranger asked to speak to Silver again.
After whispering in the horse's ear, Silver galloped off and this time
returned with a beautiful brunette. The brunette spent the night in the Lone
Ranger's teepee.
The day before he was to be burned at the stake, Sitting Bull again came to
see the Lone Ranger. He complimented him on his ability to attract beautiful
women, then warned him that this was his last wish.
The Lone Ranger asked to speak with Silver, this time privately. Sitting
Bull brought the horse over, and then walked away so they could be alone.
The Lone Ranger grabbed Silver by the ears and looked him square in the eye.
He said, "Listen you dumb horse. I said bring POSSE!".
Lone Ranger was known for being a righteous man, Sitting Bull was going to
burn him at the stake at a big tribal ceremony.
Three days before the ceremony, Sitting Bull approached the Lone Ranger and
told him that he could have three wishes, one per day, before he was burned
at the stake.
The first day, the Lone Ranger asked to speak with Silver, his horse.
After whispering in Silver's ear, Silver galloped away only to return
several hours later with a beautiful blonde, who spent the night in the Lone
Ranger's teepee.
Sitting Bull was impressed, but the next day he warned the Lone Ranger that
he only had 2 wishes left. The Lone Ranger asked to speak to Silver again.
After whispering in the horse's ear, Silver galloped off and this time
returned with a beautiful brunette. The brunette spent the night in the Lone
Ranger's teepee.
The day before he was to be burned at the stake, Sitting Bull again came to
see the Lone Ranger. He complimented him on his ability to attract beautiful
women, then warned him that this was his last wish.
The Lone Ranger asked to speak with Silver, this time privately. Sitting
Bull brought the horse over, and then walked away so they could be alone.
The Lone Ranger grabbed Silver by the ears and looked him square in the eye.
He said, "Listen you dumb horse. I said bring POSSE!".
QUOTE(A.B. Normal @ Nov 13 2006, 08:34 PM) 
Gives new meaning to whisky dick.
It gives a whole new meaning to a whisky with a beer chaser!
Since its a condom, I guess that wouldn't really be necessary.
Two young boys walked into a pharmacy one day, picked out a box of
Tampax and proceeded to the checkout counter.
The man at the counter asked the older boy, "Son, how old are you?"
"Eight", the boy replied. The man continued, "Do you know how these are used?"
The boy replied, "Not exactly, but they aren't for me. They are for him.
He's my brother. He's four. We saw on TV that if you use these
you would be able to swim and ride a bike. He can't do either one.
Tampax and proceeded to the checkout counter.
The man at the counter asked the older boy, "Son, how old are you?"
"Eight", the boy replied. The man continued, "Do you know how these are used?"
The boy replied, "Not exactly, but they aren't for me. They are for him.
He's my brother. He's four. We saw on TV that if you use these
you would be able to swim and ride a bike. He can't do either one.
QUOTE(TheGreenOne @ Nov 14 2006, 07:58 AM)
Where's CG when he's needed?
Prolly dead, and really enjoying fucking himself.
A highway patrolman pulled alongside a speeding car on the freeway.
Glancing at the car, he was astounded to see that the blonde behind the wheel was knitting! Realizing that she was oblivious to his flashing lights and siren, the trooper cranked down his window, turned on his bullhorn and yelled, "PULL OVER!"
"NO!" the blonde yelled back, "IT'S A SCARF!"
Glancing at the car, he was astounded to see that the blonde behind the wheel was knitting! Realizing that she was oblivious to his flashing lights and siren, the trooper cranked down his window, turned on his bullhorn and yelled, "PULL OVER!"
"NO!" the blonde yelled back, "IT'S A SCARF!"
Quote Rimmy "Not enough fucking in that one".
The word filter fucked that link up.
Striptease clubs exempt from tax because 'it's art'
Striptease, the tantalising dance pioneered by Salome in the Old Testament, is an art form that ranks with opera and ballet, according to a Norwegian court. As a result, strip clubs will be freed from paying the country’s hefty 25 per cent VAT.
The ruling has been a triumph for the young women of the Diamond GoGo Bar in Oslo who had complained that they were being disadvantaged compared to tax-free sword swallowers and stand-up comics.
The last straw came when they heard that tickets for the Chippendales, a male strip act, were exempt from Value Added Tax because of their artistic merit. The Norwegian Council for the Equality of the Sexes took up the strippers’ cause.
"I believe that stripping clearly is an art," said Julianna Skartland, a stripper who appeared as an expert witness during the hearings. "We strippers work hard and many have a solid background as dancers and have to succeed in auditions in order to be hired."
The case has been bouncing back and forth between the courts after a district court ruled in favour of the strip club in May 2005. The state of Norway appealed to the High Court - and this week lost again.
"Striptease, in the way it is practised in this case, is a form of dance combined with acting," said the judges who ruled on the matter, thereby comparing the act to other stage performances which are exempt from VAT.
The Norwegian state is considering whether to take the matter to the Supreme Court.
It was not clear whether the three judges had conducted field research before reaching their verdict. Certainly they made a clear distinction between "banal and vulgar" striptease - in which there is physical contact between dancers and the audience - and artistic dance.
"It can hardly be questioned that striptease is entertainment," said the High Court verdict. "Most people would characterise striptease as an artistic activity."
***
The Oslo ruling could create a renaissance for striptease in time for Norway’s long dark winter. "This will mean a lot economically for all those working in striptease," said Miss Skartland. "It will be cheaper to visit strip shows and the customers will pour in."
Striptease, the tantalising dance pioneered by Salome in the Old Testament, is an art form that ranks with opera and ballet, according to a Norwegian court. As a result, strip clubs will be freed from paying the country’s hefty 25 per cent VAT.
The ruling has been a triumph for the young women of the Diamond GoGo Bar in Oslo who had complained that they were being disadvantaged compared to tax-free sword swallowers and stand-up comics.
The last straw came when they heard that tickets for the Chippendales, a male strip act, were exempt from Value Added Tax because of their artistic merit. The Norwegian Council for the Equality of the Sexes took up the strippers’ cause.
"I believe that stripping clearly is an art," said Julianna Skartland, a stripper who appeared as an expert witness during the hearings. "We strippers work hard and many have a solid background as dancers and have to succeed in auditions in order to be hired."
The case has been bouncing back and forth between the courts after a district court ruled in favour of the strip club in May 2005. The state of Norway appealed to the High Court - and this week lost again.
"Striptease, in the way it is practised in this case, is a form of dance combined with acting," said the judges who ruled on the matter, thereby comparing the act to other stage performances which are exempt from VAT.
The Norwegian state is considering whether to take the matter to the Supreme Court.
It was not clear whether the three judges had conducted field research before reaching their verdict. Certainly they made a clear distinction between "banal and vulgar" striptease - in which there is physical contact between dancers and the audience - and artistic dance.
"It can hardly be questioned that striptease is entertainment," said the High Court verdict. "Most people would characterise striptease as an artistic activity."
***
The Oslo ruling could create a renaissance for striptease in time for Norway’s long dark winter. "This will mean a lot economically for all those working in striptease," said Miss Skartland. "It will be cheaper to visit strip shows and the customers will pour in."
The look on this dogs face is too much.
Along with the leg up and lean,
it says it all.
it says it all.
Poor dog...
We should invite her to the next Louchefest™.
...
Way to give an entire nation an inferiority complex.
A grate job:
The bestest job.
I knew there had to be a better way to earn a living.
QUOTE(TheGreenOne @ Dec 13 2006, 07:08 PM)
I find it troubling that as far as Durex is concerned, sexual positions are now restricted to a limited canonical list (why the fuck is there no "other" on that list, with a "please describe" text field?).
That (antecedent: Sixela's proposal for an "other" option copulated coupled with a "please describe" text field) would have produced more interesting responses.
If only we could get the French to adopt the same policy.
This made me think of CG:
And this made me think of Liver:
Obviously this brings Dinky to mind:
. . .
. . .
Blasphem-o-licious!
It's all fun and games till little baby Jesus leaves a large load of What the fuck did I just step in? at you're front door.
Merry christmas and a happy new year to those of you who love others.
Merry christmas and a happy new year to those of you who love others.
QUOTE(balzdeep @ Dec 30 2006, 09:22 AM)
It's all fun and games till little baby Jesus leaves a large load of What the fuck did I just step in? at you're front door.
At who'se front door?
You'res.
Gimp'ys wedding cake...
Gimpy's Niece's wedding announcement...
Gimpy's Niece's wedding picture...
Gimpy's Sister shopping for a wedding present...
...™
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