Jacques Chirac, the French president, is sitting in his office when his telephone rings.
"hello mr. Chirac!" a heavily accented voice said. "This is Bubba down at the stateline bar in ok. I am calling to inform you that we are officially declaring war on you.
"Well, Bubba," Chirac replied, this is indeed important news! how big is your Army?"
"Right now," says Bubba, after a moment's calculation, "there is myself, my cousin Sean, my next door neighbor Stan, & the intire darts team from the bar, that makes eight!"
Chirac paused. " I must tell you paddy, that I have 100,000 men in my Army waiting to move on my command."
"Dang!" say's Bubba. "I'll have to call you back".
Sure enough, the next day, Bubba calls again. "Mr. Chirac, the war is still on. We have managed to get us some Infantry equiptment!"
" And what would that be Bubba?" Chirac asks.
"Well , we have two combines, a bulldozer, & Marphy's farm tractor."
Chirac sighs amused. "I must tell you Bubba, that I have 6,000 tanks, & 5,000 armored personnel carriers. Also, I have increased the Army to 150,000 since we last spoke."
"Holy Mackeral!" say's Bubba. "I'll get back to you."
Sure enough, Bubba rings again the next day. "Mr. Chirac, the war is still on! We have managed to get ourselves Airborne! We have modified Jackie McLaughlin's ultra-lite with a couple of shotguns in the cockpit, & four boys from the Outcast bar have joined us as well!"
Chirac was silent for a moment & then cleared his throat. "I must tell you, Bubba, that I have 100 bombers & 200 fighter planes. My military bases are surrounded by laser-quided, surface to air missiles sites. & since we last spoke, I have increased my Army to 200,000!"
"Dang it!" says Bubba, 'i will call you back."
Sure enough, Bubba calls the next day. "Hello mr Chirac! I am sorry to inform you that we have had to call off the war."
"Really? I am sorry to hear that," says Chirac. "Why the sudden change of heart?"
"Well," says Bubba, 'we had a long chat over a few bottles of coors beer, & decided there is no way we can feed 200,000 French prisoners."

Caught With His Pants Down.

If only...

Maybe if it were presented in a more credible way.

...™

Ebay Item

He looks familiar, dontcha think? Not Bulgarian granny, but more appropriate to his mission.

I can't even get a 3,777$ bid.

I can't really discern any change
from pre-procedure to post.
They need to put the electrodes
somewhere else, mebbe.

Bend over.

I was talking about the guy in the
picture, isn't he the victimizer?
Er, patient. But, yeah, that could
work for him. Sumptim's gotta.

Kirky, I told ya
that if'n I had my
affairs in order
I would buy it.
No matter what
it cost.

...™

6er graffiti?

Ha!

Uncle Jay Explains the News - July 2, 2007

Ha!

I am tempted to print out a bunch of those Bible warning labels and hit every bookstore in town.

Subject: Presidential Library Destroyed by Flood.

Dateline: Crawford, Texas

A tragic flood this morning destroyed the personal library of President Bush. The flood began in the presidential bathroom where both of the books were kept.

Both books have been lost. A presidential spokesman said the president was devastated, since he was almost finished coloring the second one when the toilet overflowed.

The White House tried to call FEMA, but there was no answer.

just makin' fun of republicans...

Senator Hillary Clinton addressed the Native American tribes in N.Y. State two weeks ago. She spoke for an hour, telling the native Americans if she was to become the first female president how she would give the natives a higher standard of living. When she was done with her speech the chiefs of the tribes presented the senator with a plaque, giving her the name WALKING EAGLE. While she departed in her motorcade waving to the crowd, one of the reporters asked the chiefs what the name stood for. The chiefs response was, Walking Eagle stands for bird so full of shit it can not fly.

I nominate that Chief for President.

It all makes sense now.

That was Saucier's original avatar.

She can use this one over at H5.

How It Will Feel If Hillary Is Elected

Here we go again.
Maybe you'd rather see Mit do it?

She's too smart to hang at H5.

That reaction has more to do with there being a female Presidential candidate. I'd be glad to vote for a woman but not Clinton. The Dims and the Repugs (really two heads of the same beast) both suck but there IS a difference . . .

the Repugs spit

the Dims swallow.

Only if he's doing it to Borat Obama.

The reactance to her candidacy on the basis of her sex has been a real eye opener for me. A rather rude awakening. I was suffering from the erroneous impression that women and men are viewed and treated as equals by most modern North-Americans.

So far, I've been surprisingly impressed her responses (When Chris Matthews pinched the senator's cheek — on camera — she responded by patting his and saying, "Oh, Christopher. Baby.”) I have favored a different candidate, but I cannot help but think that it would be good for people to experience the fact that leadership by a female with colossal stones in no way robs them of their own masculinity.

(It certainly won't do any damage to mine.)

I think it's stupid that it's an issue at all. The only people I've met who have an actual issue with her gender or with Obama's race are all white Republicans who won't be voting for either of them anyway. The Media keeps making the big issue about it, because lord knows they aren't going to report on anything substantive.

Being "the first" at something you had no control over (race or gender) means little to me, it certainly means way less than being competent and having good ideas. Besides, when you look at their actual proposed policies, Barack and Hillary are nearly identical, with Barack giving a little more money for college and Hillary giving a little more money for scientific research. Aside from that, they both have some similar ideas that are bad, and some other similar ideas that are good.

I'd love to vote for a real Dem,
just never seen one in my lifetime.

The only thing worth a damn any dem pres did was Carter legalizing homebrewing.
Don't tell me living in the late 70's was great...

Yeah, Porki, I am with you on the stupid-that-it's-an-issue.

Not if they had any they were secure about.

Totally, dude. I've been pretty interested in masculinity lately.

I thought Howard Dean was, or at least was closer than anyone had been in a long time. But apparently if anyone gets excited and yells over a crowd that makes them unfit to be President.

It wasn't because he yelled. It was because he made a funny noise when he yelled.

Doesn't matter what he did. If the corporatocracy want's you out of the race, they'll pick something stupid to make a big deal out of.

Is "colossal stones" a synonym for "sleazy baggage"?

If not, I disagree that Hill-the-thrill has them.

OK, none that have been allowed to be nominated.

I didn't intend it that way, but I certainly know what you mean.

...