Swamp Survival Help

Now ya fuckin' tell me.

Jes watchout fer dem cone shells on da beach.

I'm stayin' in the apt. from now on.

Not that there is any reason to go
out in the Tally Whacker.

Day 3, spider bite:

Day 6:

Pus, splitting skin, nausea, a trip
to get it cut open and milked:

...

Purty!:

...

Moving to FlorryGay has been grate!
Car broke, and is still broke.
1st job sucked.
2nd job had the biggest asshole boss-Ever.
Just started my 3rd job.
Other car broke. 2wice.
Broke rice cooker.
Electric kettle died.
Skating the thin ice of financial ruin.
Never got my Shorty's menus. *ahem*
And now? Spider bite.

The things this jockey will do for love.

That's the kewelestest spidey bite ever.

Yeah, lucky me...

Well, xit.

That's a terrible bite
For real???

Um, yes.

Those recluses are never reclusive enough!
The only thing you can do is antibiotics and wait for it to (sort of) heal.

Close!

What the doctor actually first
said upon seeing my boo-boo
was-
"Holy xit."

And that was encouraging.

And that was only 'cause doctors aren't allowed to say "holy fucking xit".

Not while you
are conscious,
anyway.

Jeebus!

Um, no.

The correct response is:
HOLY XIT!!

I always fingered it would be Peeps
who landed you in the hospital.

Dude, that spider bite is wicked cool! Now you'll be in one of those medical books that show all the gory bites and diseases and all that stuff. Can I get your autograph?

No, he can't write anymore.

Besides, other parts of his have been in those books for years.

What is it about Florida?

Mysterious Ice Chunk Smashes Florida Car
From Associated Press
January 29, 2007 4:35 PM EST
TAMPA, Fla. - Raymond Rodriguez was changing a tire when an 18-inch chunk of ice plummeted from the sky with a piercing whistle, then a metallic crunch. The ice chunk crushed the roof of a nearby Ford Mustang on Sunday morning. No one was hurt.

"I was scared," Rodriguez said, who was only feet away. "It's crazy, man."

The Federal Aviation Administration is reviewing flight schedules to see if the ice fell off a plane. The ice did not have a blue tint that would indicate it came from a plane's lavatory. The National Weather Service said conditions in Tampa were not favorable for the formation of large balls of ice, known as megacryometeors.

"It's not an act of God," said Carlos Javage, whose son's car was wrecked by the mystery ice. "This came off an airplane."

Damn, that is one hellawikid spider bite.

Just be glad it wasn't on your shortarm.

The swelling would have been
an admirable addition.

The pus would not.

FlorryGay sucks ass.

It's weird here in a bad way.

Flordia -- America's tail-land.

Turn it back into a swamp and let it clean itself up.

That would work better than all the fancy plans.

I doubt there's any plans.

Most everything here is a mess.

Must of all got bit by the spyder.

If by "spyder" you mean-
Southernly we don't give a xit
and we ain't in no hurry and
we don't know no better no
how,
you'd be correct.

>FlorryGay sucks ass.
It's weird here in a bad way.<

born there, done that, still have my UF sweat shirt (didn't they win something lately? not when i was there)...only miss the stone crabs...

on the spidey bite...

Spyder

Oysters are cheap.
Oranges are not, they all
go be juiced.
Boiled peanuts are good.
Regular peanuts aren't cheap.
Georgia is only a gator toss
away, so it seems like they
would be.
If you hate winter, which I don't
then the weather is nice.
Unless it's late spring to early
fall and it's hot as hell and
muggy as a rectum.
Palms trees? Um, ok.
Live oaks? Um, ok.
I thought people would have
lovely, lush yards full of
flowers and such. Um, no.
Most have scraggly bushes
and weeds.

Missed the Stone Crab
Festival down in St. Marks.
Mebbe next year.

Stone crab, yes. That was a real treat when I visited a friend down there one Thanksgiving.

On the spider tip:

Kallisti has a habit of talking some crazy jabber in her sleep and this morning she freaked me out pretty good.

I took a piss and came back to bed and she says out of a dead sleep I remember what it is about the recluse bite, NECROTIC TISSUE! YOU LOSE THE LEG!!! So I layed there real quiet waiting for the rest.

HELLO!

I wait.

She opens her eyes.

Are you awake, I said. Yes! she says

That's a helluvah way to start a conversation first thing in the morning. I thought you were asleep.

NOPE! But make sure you tell, Liver!

In other words "Take care of that paw."

He's lucky it didn't bite him someplace worse!

"Necrosis. Necrosis. Necrosis."

Beelee me that kept running through
my melon from the time the fuckin'
thing commenced.

As the thing got blacker and blacker
and I felt sicker and sicker it went
a lil' something like this:

NECROSIS! NECROSIS! NECROSIS!

Tell Kalli girl thanks for
the concern.
Even at your expense.

Nerotic tissue is much darker.
You're fine from what I've seen in the photos.
I've seen much worse from scorpion stings in AZ.

Dr. Abby has spoken.

That's a comfort.

Your touch w/the rectal
thermometer is a tad
heavy.