I had a crappy day at school / work yesterday, and was very much looking forward to starting the night with a nice, refreshing gin & tonic. Get out my favorite glass, pour the gin to the mark, 3 ice cubes... ahh this is going to be good.

Reach in the fridge, grab the millk. Promptly pour half a glass of milk into my gin.

Oh God, what have I done!

I tried it just to see. Yep. Nasty. Down the sink.

Damnit. Paid very close attention, and did it right the second try.

And that little fricative has you worried?

I've had plenty of brain farts in my time...

Kahlua, Vodka and grapefruit (oops, juice was in the wrong spot).
Dumped cream into bowl instead of soap for washing...
Left house, drove down road, realized 3 minutes later I was headed in the wrong direction.
Left house, drove down road, 5 miles later realized I was in the LEFT lane... good thing it was 5 am and there were no other cars on the road.
Forgot what day my birthday was.

Shit, I can't even remember 1/2 of them.

Last Friday night, I jabbed a pencil in my eye.

I bid ~$350 for a bottle of absinthe. Good absinthe, but ~$350 none the less. I was very drunk and feeling wealthy. And, thank God I didn't win.

Wow.

the best is when you're like "Goddammit, where the hell are my keys???", and they're either still in the front door or worse, in your left hand.

I woke to find my keys in the neighbor's door one time.

The scary thing is, most of mine don't even require alcohol. I've reached the stage where alcohol makes me LESS forgetful.

This has happened three or four times now: I decide a cup of tea would be nice. I fill the kettle, light the burner, put the kettle on the stove, go into the other room and start typing on the computer.

About fifteen minutes later, I start wondering what the funny burnt smell is coming from.

Speaking of which, excuse me.

I do that all the time...
"damnit! Where the hell are my glasses?!"

"You're wearing them."

"uhh... oh."

a few work related ones:
while peeling shrimp, keeping the shell and throwing away the shrimp.
sauteeing and using sherry insteed of white wine to deglaze.
making a martini and putting in sweet vermouth instead of dry (and they didn't want a "perfect" martini).
cracking open a beer and realizing afterwards that's not what the waiter asked for.

i joined this forum.

Gin & Tonic, bread and butter of the alcoholic !


I'll go get another one !


No, seriously, sometimes I feel like too much absinthe is building up in my system and that if I keep drinking the green it will fucks up my digestive system -insert typical absinthe burps here- so I go back to basic and drink simples gin & tonics. It feels fresh and cleansing !

I too often wondered about that.

I have burnt the tea kettle many times.I have also left the
teabag to steep for well over three minutes.No number of
Diamond Dots would have helped the resulting bitter swill.

I have also searched for my glasses while already wearing
them,usually on top of my head.

I'm sure there are many others, I just can't remember...

I have'nt had enough of the green to tell if it will fuck up my
digestive system;it's already off kilter.I have to take prescription
and OTC medications.

Perhaps the green may actually do my digestive system some good.
After all,it was originally meant as a curative.

It will most likely do you some good, unless you drink too much of it for a long time.

Up to 3 oz of absinthe (+ water, which is about 2 glass) before a meal is fine once in a while. More than that on a regular basis can cause problems.

Honestly I sometimes fall into the "problem" zone...

Of course it is all right as long you'r allowed to take alcohol with your medication.

Look through your shit next time
for some worms.
Absinthe works as advertised!

I do'nt eat much raw meat left out in the sun,so maybe absinthe is'nt the
tonic I am looking for.

Oh,well.It has an interesting flavor and is a pretty color,so I suppose I'll
drink it anyway.

I'll have to stick with pills and tablets to straighten out my screwed up
digestive system.

A couple of weeks ago, I accidentally brushed my teeth with Neutrogena Oil-Free Acne Wash....

Or driving. That used to happen to me all the time. Of course, I smoked pot in those days.

Porkio smoked better shit.

That musta been what stunted his growth...

Oh.



Snap.

Stop using Porkio as a pawn in your sick and evil games, you two!

Hey, he started it.

Mom! The Mayor's making fun of Porkio again...