For his generous gift.
You rule sucker.

c'est normal...

i hope you have a happy holiday and a great new year, in spite of it all...

Gift? What gift?
I feel a "Pay the fuck attention!" coming on.

Pops sent the Mayor christmas fudgerolls

...and a fruitcake. I mean, the mayor.

I may have to kill the bottle to not kill
the Warden.
She wants me out of the house for Xmas
Day.
Not by then, but just for that day.
My plans to spend it w/Dogboy fell
through when the clutzy fuck fell through
some ice and fucked up his leg.

Looks like it's fireplace, FoisGrasRules, and
fightin' for the holiday.

So she wants the haunts to herself for Christmas day? Sounds kind of weird.

IF it is anything like JC, there won't be many places open on Christmas day. Did that my first Christmas after the divorce. Really surreal.

That does sound odd. Sorry to hear, Liver.

DG

It is weird.
"You having company?"
"No."

There won't be shit open.
I've got an invite to hang w/some
co-workers, but they are coming
over tomorrow night and tend to
rehash conversations, even in the
same night. There'd be nothing to
talk about on xmas day.

Sorry to hear bout all that Mayor. Weren't there some fellow Loungers in your area? Maybe you could hang with them.

I've invited the Philly posse to no avail
a couple of times.
I'm probably not welcome back in NYC.
I'd not want to intrude unless it was some
other pathetic fuck like myself w/no friends
or family.

Too bad I live so bloody far away. You'd be welcome to hang w/me for a christmas lunch or something. (lunch cause I gotta work during the evening) I'm sure there will be a slurpee rush right about then.

As long as we have Eye Openers, I'll
be happy to mop and pick up trash in
the lot.

Diffinately!
Long live the eye openers at work!

Did you call my name?

Too bad I have that third thing you didn't mention. WORK. It's worse than friends or family when it comes to attention and time invested.

Your slingin drinks on christmas WTF? You should just close up shop and help yourself to everything behind the shelf!

Someone's gotta be there to inebriate all the people escaping their families.

I actually work everyday. Sometimes for just a few hours, sometimes 18. It all depends.


Oh, and not EVERYONE celebrates December 25th as a holiday. There are a lot of non-christians around during that time.

I am rendered utterly inarticulate by the taste of my own venom. That is so wrong.

(Not you, Dinky. Sorry. Poor continuity).

So, clarify, or alternately, delete it and this.

Yes I know.
Christmas around here has gotten to be more of a traditional american holiday than a christian one. Presents, decore, traditional holiday dinners. Plenty of folks who aren't christian celebrate on the 25th anyways.

Ooh — I've just been chastised, haven't I? It's been a long time.

All right. I am disturbed at the thought of you, Mr. Mayor, in such a lousy circumstance. It galls me that you would be ill-treated. I am a bit fond of you, I suppose. Clearer?

yep

Yeah I will be in pajamas bartending my little heart away! I understand, it is just another day in a day of a drunk! Merry Fcuking Chrismas.

Happy fucking fuckity what-the-fuck-ever-it-is.

If I have one more person wish me "Happy holidays" or "merry christmas", I'm gonna pop them in the mouth.

KEEP YOUR HAPPINESS TO YOURSELF ... grumble grumble grumble.

Grinch!

Oh, it looks like somebody could use a little Xmas spirit.

Just for you via W.C. Fields favorite, Scrooge:
"To all those that go about mouthing Merry Christmas", "May they be boiled in their own pudding", "and buried with a holly stake through the heart".

Have a Merry Christmas

Dogboy and Anne to the rescue!
We'll be watching videos and getting
lit on the other side of Blue Mountain
tomorrow night w/me pulling up some
floor for the night.
Yay!
So what if he almost broke his ankle?
His drinking arm is unscathed.

Awesome! Glad to hear Mayor.

Be sure to bring a pillow and a toothbrush.

DG

Bring your wife's toothbrush, too. Clean the vomit off the toilet seat with it.

Ha!

I won't be bringing my own towel.

HOLY SHIT. Now I get it.

Fuckin' took you long enough!

You guys have been busting my ballz for 9 months becuase I brought my own towel with me? Shit, I travel complete. Ready for anything.

I lived in a fraternity for 4 years. You always used your own towel.

No, we've been busting your balls on a 'cuz it's fun.

Sad.

FRAT BOY! That explains the Porche. What's the story with the sideburns, sideburns?

I've been trying to get into a sorority for years....

DG

It's not a frat, it's a Fraternity... you don't call your Country a Cunt do you?

Sideburns... I dunno. They just grow...

Cunt.

Ha!
Longest running non-joke ever.
The original rant was pretty funny,
though.
And yep, the sideburns are ugly.
They chafe my thighs.

Nope, but I live in a country, never lived in a frat. Was an "off-campus independent" in college, whatever the hell that means. I guess it meant that I didn't live in the dorms or a Frat. Did live in a sorority for a couple of weeks, that was cool, though (till they caught me).

And I always wanted to say this. "What about you, sideburns? Ya want some milk?"

Called an ex-GF one once -- got me a good slap. Fucking cunt!

I think you are the only one who did not.

"You savvy that hoopy Ford Prefect? he's one froody dude who knows where his towel is!"

Shit is a 4 letter word and the word in the middle is HI.