What the fuck do you put in absinthe to make it taste like sickly sweet celery juice?

My sink threw this back up at me.

And, no, this is not a personal thing against the Grate H.

Sure?
Cause everyone who tasted it on saturday found it nice, unusual but pleasant, I would drink it regularly to be honest.

Yep, I'm sure. It eez crap.

Regardless of what a bunch of drunks thought last Saturday.

It doesn't matter how I water it, it's in the same league as Lucid.

Lucid is less of an oddball, butt they are both just bad.

I respect your opinion Cros', I'm just surprised you find it that bad.
Anyone else here tasted it and can provide an honest opinion too?

I just can't get past the taste of celery.

Maybe I should try it with sugar, but it's already too fucking sweet.

Or, maybe the Grate H arranged for me to receive a special bottle.

I shall taste it in New Year I bet, then I will give lots of opinions not only on that beverage. Personally, I am xure it will be too sweet for my bitter Eastern European palate™. I also hope to taste LuXit™ the same time to hit the final nail to its coffin.

Let the Lord of the Spermwoods™ know what you think.

If everything goes well, I am planning to post at least 5-6 reviews, one by one, based on the triad: neat-sans-avec-, so that wood be 18 absinthe glasses, usual routine. I promise to start with Marteau.

Yay! There's nothing like having a glass of 68% alcohol neat to destroy your palate before you move on to reviewing it with water...

So he should save the Marteau for last to destroy his palate?

HA! Any extrait should be taken neat at first to analyze base, concentration of herbs, any funkiness comin' out or such; I am wonderin' why Markus would call it "destroying" the palate. Is 68% too strong? What about 72%, 74% or 80% for that matter?

Yes it destroys your palate. If you think that it does all that much as you say then the wise thing is to taste it neat after you've tasted it with water. Your tastebuds will be affected by the high alcohol level, there's not much of an argument there. If it's a good absinthe, the concentration of herbs will carry on in the aroma and it will also carry over in the taste.

Unless ofcourse by "extrait" you mean wormwood oil, then by all means - drink that neat.

First of all you get Matter to distill it. All the stuff from there has that flavor to one degree or another. I ususally think of it as an asparagus astringency.

You too can create the same affect at home kids! Simply take any distilled absinthe and give it lots of air exposure. It is a flaw that marks this maker. H should have known that before he contracted it out.

There's no professional taster, anywhere, who tastes 50%+ spirits neat. It's never done, because it can't be done, at least not with any degree of accuracy. If you think you're the exception, you're deluding yourself. I've sat with the top whisky judges from the UK, professional cognac blenders from France, and the leading eau de vie judges from Germany and Austria. All of them first evaluate the nose of the neat spirit, then add water, then re-evaluate the nose, then taste. No one puts anything in their mouth with an alcoholic strength much above 30%.

There exists such presupposition that spirits above 50% should be diluted which is a complete BS if ya tell that to those who make and drink slivovitz, kirschenwasser, moonshine what not. Palates differ so I am worried knowin' yer Scandinavian tradition including such grate cocktail as "White Polar Bear" and wide range of excellent traditional vodkas. Also, after taking it neat, I rinse the throat with water and then start the second stage of evaluating. Ya know exactly that by <extrait> I mean <absinthe>, I do not use modern invented names that do not reflect the reality.

I would tell ya how it was with Hellbitch. First, I have taken a small glass of it neat, analyzed the colour, aroma, texture, alcohol bite/base kept it in the mouth for a while to know what I might expect after louching, then louched it, analyzed everything again in comparison, and finally avec sucre, and another comparison.

I am not arguing how it can be done, you have your own methods, Markus, these that suit you, so nothing against that.

That may be one of the problems right there. I once almost poisoned a friend with one of their prototypes. Add to that an attempt to make a "different" tasting absinthe to please someone who says they can't even choke down absinthe without sugar, and I'm not sure what you'll get.

Yes you are.

It must have been a great time spent with them. I have partaken in only a few official degustations (mainly regarding vodka, but whisky/tequila, etc ones had happened), but the word "official" should be stressed, because what Markus, I, anyone is doing, it is done in private, at home and requires no officiality whatsover.

Following official rules as applied by judges, it would mean that during a Sunday dinner and having a nice wine, I and others would be required to spit it after tasting, and I believe, even if we evaluate something it is still to be drunk not wasted.

People who live in the Tatra Mountains have a tendency to take a small sip from a glass, keep it in a mouth, then swallow and drink the rest; they may not be aware that there are competitions, degustations, spirits judging in the big world, but from that little tasting, they can say of a given spirit much more than it would have been said/written officially, if at all.

No one is talking about drinking it, we're talking about tasting it. Of course vodka, slivovitz and many other strong spirits are traditionally drunk neat. This is because they're drunk for the effect (the alcohol hit) as well as for the taste. But if you're tasting multiple strong spirits for evaluation purposes - the scenario you described - then you really should add water.

High concentrations of alcohol will erode the palate, the throat and create a good possibility of mouth and throat cancer. Best to water it to a level that brings out the flavor and cuts the toxic effects on the tissues.
Most Slivovitz and other spirits are not more than 50% by the time you're drinking them and most folks don't drink as much as you.

I believe that's a direct quote from Borat's Guide to Organaleptic Evaluation and Jew Tossing.

There's a world of difference between evaluating a drink and its characteristics and plain and simply do shooters of it. I'm not arguing anything - mainly because it's a given fact that the high alcohol level of 60-70-80% will affect your tastebuds.

No - you shouldn't neither spit nor make fancy wine-tasting sounds and bubbles and shit when you're at a nice dinner. That is not only rude, it also looks stupid and is insulting to the host, you're not there to EVALUATE the wine, you're there for dinner and drinks.

What they do in the Tatra Mountains or in obscure third world countries on the upside-down part of this globe is of no importance in the discussion. If you want to be able to evaluate every aspect of a drink accurately, it is better NOT to drink such strong alcohol first. If you feel you must - then do it AFTER the rest.

See it as advice, not criticism of you persona!

EU put limit for such products on 53%, hence some others, higher in alcohol cannot be sold within Union, or if have been granted "regional product" status can be purchased locally. I will bring you Łącka bottled at 78%. The rest is true. Mebbe I do not drink, I taste.

As far as Tatra guys are concerned, I have seen them in person doing it everytime we met and I must admit I was shocked seeing it for the very first time. Tatra Mountains are far from Kazachstan, but Borat's compatriots might be drinking/tasting in a quite eccentric way, they are so close to Russia, so no wonder.

It will always, since from 50%, alcohol is medicine and has antiseptical properties, no argument here, God forbid.



Thank Odin, Highlanders won't be reading these, if they are civilized enough not to throw "ciupaga" in your direction.



It depends on the drink as well, I have taken Hellbitch out of curiosity after reading so many reviews. But you have not been critical, we are having a nice, civilized discussion. We are at the Lounge, have you forgotten?

You mean I should stop doing all this when I'm at my mother-in-law's dinners?
No fun.

Do tell.

No xit. We let in whinging fucks like Fartsmear, Loogie Licker, MToolie and Peter Shaft and all of a sudden they expect us to start being nice....

The TONE Knob has completely fallen off...

Markus, how could ya ruin, Socky's dinner? Bad Viking, bad.

Someone once said that proto's might be poisonous.

Maybe you're twisting it too hard.

We could stick a penny in the notch where the TONE knob fell off. Then we could still turn the knob.

I'm old enough to remember when that was a high tech solution for a lost knob.

Crank 'er up Jack!

The TONE knob ain't even worth the penny anymore...

Just a lil' illustration of the whole process:

1-line-up, not everything, though
2-toastin' me and one sittin' vice versa are usin' mugs
3-takin' a sip
4-keepin' in the mouth, analyzin' I am askin' a question not xure what kind of

Celery Seed...and I hope you didn't buy a bottle of that swill...!

Puttin' sumthin' that tastes exactly as that sumthin' wood be too easy. It musta been sumthin' special, extraordinaire. And of course natural™, naturally.

Wisdom from the sub-natural.
Fuckin' shut up.

Too many straight lines
to even know where to begin.

So better end.

Now you'll need to get it polished.

That's the problem
not the solution.

I always thought a Happy Ending was a good solution to was ails ones tone.

No, by all means go ahead. You're not there for a nice a dinner and drinks - you're there because you were forced to go.

That's the first time I've seen those beverages in a sentence that referred to a proper tasting.
I've "tasted" all of those, including "good" ones, and they're all horrid.

I don't know about everybody else, but I can't properly evaluate any beverage after the first glass, as alcohol has a tendency to dull my sense of smell. If tiny tasting quantities and lots of water in between are involved I might be able to accurately evaluate three samples, but when one is sitting down and just trying lots of things and getting pissed, you can't really accurately say what was good and what wasn't. Booze happens to impair judgment, which is one of many reasons why I drink it.

Dependin' on the fact who made them and how. Very good reason, indeed.

The aforementioned Tatra Mountains people, so fathers/grandfathers of the guys I am usually drinkin' with, say that regarding slivovitz, it is best embraced when treated like cognac, so slowly and elegantly and they never advise to cross the limit as in their opinion good slivovitz should not be drunk just to get xitfaced, but to savour the aroma.

What I have observed as well, when they are drinkin' it, the bottle is usually per not less than 3 people, a Highlander will never sit with ya if there are only two of ya, they value company. Moreover, if there is no food provided, they will not start drinkin', either. It builds the atmosphere. Strange, eccentric, butt on the other hand, very nice and hospitable of them. Last butt not least, knowin' how Polish sounds, when ya hear how they speak, it is very, very entertaining as well.

I enjoy a nice eau de vie now and then, including slivovitz.

Butt do ya taste it or drink it thass the question.

I taste all of my drinks and I drink to my tastes.