The worst

Frankly, I'm a little more than offended that you would single out myself and Miss Liquor as the only recipients of your humiliating poll. Since we have no one with a cricket avatar, I can only assume this was some passive agressive way of trying to discredit my semi-high regard in this Lounge.

Like it could get any lower.

DG

We're currently battling a mouse problem (goes with the territory when you have birds. Birds=birdseed everywhere) & I can vouch for the "ick" factor when you walk into the kitchen & have a mouse dash over your foot!

And no, I haven't jumped on a chair shreiking.

Mice: fine in our yard, not so great skittering overhead in the house!

After seeing an oldish horror movie about one of those damn monkeys with cymbals. . . I just am terrified of monkeys. Oh, and cymbals, which makes being a drummer tough.

I've offed 3 cheese nappers so far.
Now I'm down to the one from Mousehunt.

What about those big mice, that hang around the bottles?

They've been gone since August.
There were a lot here then, though.

Here in my home office, I have an antique photo of an organ grinder's monkey. The sticker on my monitor proclaims, "I want monkey." Crickets are purported to bring good fortune and I find their chirping pleasant. I routinely handle rats and all rodents have a special place in my heart. Choices, choices, choices.

Mice is nice
Monkeys are funky
Crickets kick it

No mice or monkeys where I live yet,but crickets move in when it's cold.

My cat used to catch them and offer them to me as a gift.Crickets are supposed to bring good luck,but I do'nt know if that's true of mangled,slobbered on,amputee crickets.

I find the sound of crickets chirping pleasant, also.Now that kitty is'nt here ,I get to listen to the sound longer.I'd rather have kitty.Of course the crickets are out in full force on summer nights.A sound as pleasant as rain in winter.

I'm a fan of crickets too. Little black ones live in my basement year - round. They are pleasant to listen to. However, my hockey bag does claim several causalties a year. Poor guys, that's gotta be a horrible death!

Like most of us (probably) I don't live in a place where monkeys are a problem.
But I'm told they can be a pain in the ass -- stealing food, throwing feces, etc. Also, they're larger, smarter and stronger than most vermin.

I have had mouse problems in the past -- they are the worst. And if you keep
a pet bird (like I did for a while), you can't use glue traps or poison, which are
the only really effective means of dealing with them... except for keeping a cat...

Crickets can eat book bindings and wallpaper paste (in theory) -- never had a
problem with them, though.

A former girlfriend was attacked by pet monkeys at a neighbor's converted garage. It messed her up, mostly mentally. She lived in Sudan and would periodically see wild ones peering into her window. She moved to Williamsport, PA and, as far as I know, hasn't had a problem.

Oh, and I got whizzed on by one at a zoo when I was 8 or 9. Monkeys, definately monkeys.

We're a nasty lot, we are.

DG

Do you mean you, as a monkey, or us, as a dirty infantile bunch of loonies?

Whatever shoe fits, dollface.

DG

hot monkeylove can be fun.

Mice, Monkeys or Crickets? I like all three.

Now, ROACHES...these suck.

I think the worst is "Monkeybone."

I'm tired of the crickets chirp chirp chirping around this desolate ghost-town.

Speaking of crickets ... it's just me and one lurking guest.

DG

Not nearly enough people to have a proper match.

Better crickets than rickets.

DG

I hear crickets every night when it gets quiet in the house. Damn tinnitus.

We also have some crickets that invade the house every winter for about three to four weeks, then they go away. They have really long hind legs, like 5X their body length. The cats won't have anything to do with them.

We've got a serious ant issue going on here.

Damn relatives just won't leave.

DG

Ground mace(the spice,not the weapon)will drive ants away.Put quite alot on their
trail and where they have entered the house, if you can find it.

A paper towel filled with mace will keep them out of the cupboards.

As for the relatives,maybe an egg custard seasoned with plenty of mace will do the trick.

Should have had an option for armadillos, I hate those motherfuckers.

A road, a pair of headlights, and a fast moving vehicle usually works.

Ever hit one? Thats why I hate them, it's like running over a fucking cinder block. They are a scourge to motorcyclists.

No,.........just seen the leftovers.

Interesting armadillo fact: they are the only other species than man to be able to carry leperosy.

I like to call then rats on a half shell.

DG

Never saw an armadilo till I drove through Louisianna. Think I saw at least 15 dead ones on the side of the road.

In SE Asia and India, it'd be a toss between chipmunks and monkeys -- if you couldn't catch malaria from skeeters, that is (though you can also catch rabies from monkeys - and they do bite: my wife has the scars to prove it, though the monkey isn't going to forget my foot either).

So now DG and I are the culprits, huh?

yeah, i would have to say skeeters too.

sorry, mobile armored strike kommand!

Sure, blame the EASY targets ... sheese.

DG

Sure, blame the monkeys, peter tort?

I hope I'm not too far off topic, but I never had a problem with monkeys in PA. Crickets stay outside and chirp. Country or city noise, what’s the difference? Anyway, I don't mind mice squeaking, but I do mind them shitting on my silverware, dinnerware, and cookware.

In the fall, when it gets cold, the mice find their way in. I use a humane mouse trap called a "Victor tin cat." They cost about $10 and they last forever. You only need one, since the mouse shit gives away the traffic patterns. I stick some peanut butter on cracker and place it along a wall where they run. Usually, I am able to catch them early in the season and release them in the local public park.

I don't know if they make it through the winter, but I find that if I catch and release before it gets too cold, I don't have a problem for the rest of the season. At least I give them a fighting chance, don't release around other houses, and throw out a little hamster food.

I once got busted by the cops releasing a mouse. I was walking back to my car when the flashlight hit my face. It was around 11pm. They didn't get it. They didn't believe I just didn't kill mice like everyone else. Anyway, I think my story was absurd enough that after 20 minutes of explaining, they let me go, whatever.

Personally, I find cops more bothersome than all three combined. They're the real pests.

Add "oink, oink" to your poll, so I can vote.

That show rocked.

Oh .... I thought it was My Ass Seems Kind. My bad.

DG

monkeys are so kooky

Yes, we are .... we're nature's Jerry Lewis of the animal kingdom.

DG

mask already, stupid kunt!

Does that mean the French like them too?

Hmmm .... My Ass Seems Kicked.

DG

Oui!

DG

Dammit DG, follow the rules! your response to the "French" should have been:

Many are stinky knaves

My Apologies, Sir Kelt.

DG

more apologies, shit kicker!